Work: Today, I had to wake up at 4am because my boss set an important...

By fitzy79 - 31/01/2014 20:04 - United States

Today, I had to wake up at 4am because my boss set an important business meeting for first thing in the morning. After making sure everything was ready, I went to work. My boss ended up oversleeping and moved the meeting to tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 719

You deserved it 3 744

Work

Mama's boy

Our house, in the middle of our street

Late term

By lottielondon - 04/05/2011 13:47 - United Kingdom

Today, my garage was flooded. Everything was ruined. My garage also happens to be my study, in which my entire art coursework was drying. My exam is tomorrow and all I have to hand in is a pile of mushy paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 980

You deserved it 3 743

By hitlerfish - 14/03/2017 22:00

Today, while meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time, the first comment I received was, "Well, at least this one is white." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 909

You deserved it 437

By shmelly - 16/04/2010 04:03 - United States

Today, as my boyfriend was unbuttoning my pants to go down on me, he looked at me and said in his best robot voice, "caution, contents may be stinky." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 884

You deserved it 22 183

By WTFsalad - 18/02/2010 02:46 - United States

Today, I was leaving Wal-Mart with my daughter when a man was speeding the wrong way in the parking lot. To avoid getting hit, I pulled over to the side. He thought I was going the wrong way. He got out cursing and screaming and punched a dent in my hood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 854

You deserved it 2 429

By drunkenloser - 20/09/2013 07:22 - United States

Today, my alcoholism reached a new low when I found myself sitting on the toilet drinking a bottle of wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 127

You deserved it 38 417

By Anonymous - 20/01/2016 12:30 - United States - Redding

Today, 9 years on, my dad still hates my husband for "ruining" my life by getting me pregnant in my late 20s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 975

You deserved it 1 550

By jjs51 - 23/01/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 182

You deserved it 3 863

Not all heroes…

By pooped - 12/04/2020 23:00

Today, at work, the only toilet in the building was so clogged that it was overflowing. We didn't have a plunger, so basically the only way to stop it was to try and reach in and remove the blockage. I was nominated to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 732

You deserved it 155

By Anonymous - 22/07/2010 05:52 - United States

Today, while having sex for our first time, my boyfriend decided to test out a theory he heard about, that conversation during sex makes it more enjoyable. His way of doing it? He looked me straight in the eye and asked "How 'bout them Brewers?" We're from Wisconsin. That's our local sports team. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 926

You deserved it 5 245

Freud intensifies

By Anonymous - 08/07/2021 22:01

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. An ex? A friend? A side guy? Nope, none of those. I called him “Dad”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 995

What about me?

By Anonymous - 04/04/2021 14:00

Today, my younger brother got in engaged. When we had a conversation about the wedding, he asked why the hell would I be involved with any of it! He used to be my best friend. I don’t know what happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 086

You deserved it 132

Surprise!

By dieold - 28/01/2009 12:15 - United States

Today, I went to a birthday party at my girlfriend's house. When her little brother was about to blow out the candles, I slipped my hand into her sisters back pocket and squeeze her ass, thinking it was my girlfriend. She freaked out, and now her family thinks I'm a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 835

You deserved it 34 184

By ryjacs - 03/06/2011 20:22 - United States

Today, I received an email from my potential employers at the zoo, saying that they won't be hiring me. This wouldn't be so bad if they didn't keep sending me the same email every two hours to remind me that I am still unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 673

You deserved it 2 843

By Anonymous - 28/01/2011 19:59 - United Kingdom

Today, I got home from working late and decided to write a cute email to my girlfriend since I haven't seen her in two weeks. I was about to finish it off when my door swung open, and in a panic, I opened another tab to hide my email. It was porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 767

You deserved it 43 427

By Noname - 13/02/2009 17:46 - United States

Today, I went to the gym to run. I ended up at the hospital because i went into anaphylactic shock. Apparently I'm allergic to exercise now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 205

You deserved it 3 657

By StarDust5921 - 04/10/2016 01:55 - United States - Utica

Today, while working at a bank, I helped a customer who was making a large withdrawal. After I counted out his money, I asked "Do you want the strap on?" After a moment of awkward silence, as I realized how that came out, he smiled and said, "No thanks, I don't need one." and winked. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 792

You deserved it 2 153

By Anonymous - 01/01/2013 18:23 - United States - El Cajon

Today, I woke up to a small fire on my roof, burning up small twigs and branches. The cause? Last night, I threw a sparkling firecracker up very high, only to have it blown onto my roof by the wind. It's going to take $2,000 to fix the damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 963

You deserved it 52 321

By guttedgirl - 04/06/2011 11:35 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my ex boyfriend's band has become quite popular on YouTube. My friends and sister won't stop singing their songs. Most of them were written after I dumped him, and go on to say how much better off he is without me and how horrible I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 315

You deserved it 23 507

By Anonymous - 22/06/2016 22:13 - United States - Newcastle

Today, it's my 7-year anniversary with my boyfriend. I was excited so I asked him what day it was and he said, "Wednesday?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 327

You deserved it 2 524

By Kensie - 04/03/2009 21:48 - United States

Today, it is my twin sisters and my birthday. We both wanted a day at the spa for our birthday. My sister got a gift certificate to the spa, while I got mouthwash and a $20 gift card to Target. My mom said it would cost too much to make me pretty also. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121 508

You deserved it 5 964

By justinmdent - 24/11/2014 03:48 - United States - Excelsior Springs

Today, I helped a very large elderly man, who thanked me and tried to hand me a dollar bill. I kindly told him, "We are not allowed to accept tips from customers." His reply was, "You're going to take this fucking money," and shoved it in my pocket. I'm now being written up for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 618

You deserved it 2 941

By Anonymous - 05/05/2009 10:32 - United States

Today, I was insulted online by a teenager who said that I was probably a fat loser that still lives with their mother and a couple of cats. They were right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 193

You deserved it 58 273

By Anonymous - 04/03/2016 14:52 - United States - Dallas

Today, I made the decision to lighten my hair from dark brown to blonde. I thought the stylist knew what she was doing, but I ended up with my hair fried off and orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 474

You deserved it 2 577

By Munch - 12/09/2017 04:00 - Australia - Mordialloc

Today, my short-tempered, alcoholic boyfriend proudly showed me the rifle he bought. This guy regularly swears at his own sneezes and often flies into fits of rage because it's hard to get his shoe on. Time to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 220

You deserved it 868

By Anonymous - 24/10/2011 10:07 - United States

Today, I finally gathered up the guts to say hi to the girl I like. As I was walking down the hallway, I saw her and waved hello, only to walk into a bathroom door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 183

You deserved it 6 017

By Username - 27/12/2010 08:39

Today, I was told by my mom that I'm a terrible person because I won't help my brother get a girlfriend. He's gay, but won't tell her because he thinks it's hilarious when she yells at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 995

You deserved it 4 887

By Frostbitten - 27/02/2013 03:00 - United States - Freeport

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 135

You deserved it 6 083

By Anonymous - 28/05/2011 00:56 - United States

Today, I was really psyched to go see Kung Fu Panda 2 at the movies. Excited, I tried to do a flying kick off the cafeteria wall at work. Instead of kicking off, my leg crashed through the plasterboard and got stuck. My co-workers had to pull me free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 101

You deserved it 53 811

By Aaaaahhhhhhhh - 23/08/2018 01:30

Today, I came home to carpenter ants coming out from under my baseboards. I went out and bought bait traps and now there are flying ants coming out of the woodwork. If I try to sleep they crawl on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 749

You deserved it 151

By SureDoesMakeAGirlFeelGood - 13/04/2016 01:45 - Canada - Paradise

Today, I found out that my husband has more topless pictures of his ex on his computer than he does of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 346

You deserved it 4 441

By FML - 02/10/2015 21:45 - United States - Oak Lawn

Today, I took my boyfriend to dinner to meet my parents. He agreed to be on his best behavior, but when my mom told us about some shady stuff going on at her job, he replied that it sounded "fishier than Justin Bieber's cunt." We were quickly kicked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 467

You deserved it 4 217

By Jacky-Boy - 07/08/2009 00:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I was playing songs at a funeral in my church. As the organ wasn't in tune I had to use an electronic piano instead. All was going well until in the end of a speech, I accidentally hit the 'demo' button. None of the grieving relatives were impressed by my drum beats and turntable scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 402

You deserved it 7 429

Lobbied

By not taking those! - 06/10/2020 23:07 - United States

Today, I called my insurance company begging for a new doctor. All my current one does is prescribe antidepressants for everything. Migraines? AD! Dizziness? AD! Birth control? AD! I’ve been having rough periods and I’m pretty sure she’s just trying to push pills to bill us more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 210

You deserved it 79

By CC - 11/10/2011 14:51 - Sweden

Today, I met an old friend, with whom I have a complicated history and we hooked up. He came before we even started. In his sleep, he pushed me out of the bed. When I woke up, he had peed himself in his sleep. Glad I let that ship sail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 764

You deserved it 24 908

By Anonymous - 10/02/2012 21:07 - Belgium

Today, my mother used global warming as an excuse for not remembering my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 086

You deserved it 2 732

By longdrive - 25/07/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, my sister and I drove 800 miles with her five-year-old, her two-year-old, and her two dogs. The two-year-old got carsick five times, adding an extra three hours to the trip. The kickers? My sister is sympathy spewer and neither of them chews food very well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 027

You deserved it 3 556

By This Guy - 26/09/2011 17:18 - United States

Today, I went to Walmart to pick up some groceries. When I came out, the front end of my car was crushed in. On the window was a note only saying "Sorry I bumped into your car." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 354

You deserved it 2 520

By Anonymous - 14/02/2010 14:21 - United States

Today, I realized that the "pimples" on my back weren't pimples at all. Because I was unable to see how bad they were for the last week, I never caught on to the fact the they were, in fact, ticks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 171

You deserved it 6 750

By billy - 31/03/2015 10:54 - United States - Wellesley Hills

Today, I dislocated my toe while putting on my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 875

You deserved it 5 359

By Tbelle - 25/10/2017 19:00

Today, my brother texted me a picture of his "upcoming disconnect" notice for his utility bill and asked if I could loan him the money to pay it. All I could give him was a picture of my "disconnected" notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 482

You deserved it 421

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Top comments

Rizzen 27

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Saturday 1 February 2014 0:43

your boss is a really irresponsible. I am sorry you got screwed

Pesticides 19

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Saturday 1 February 2014 0:54

Yeah, if you quit your job after any mishap you're going to have a bad life.

Rizzen 27

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Saturday 1 February 2014 0:43

your boss is a really irresponsible. I am sorry you got screwed

LinkandSaria 10

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Saturday 1 February 2014 1:01

I hate it when "shit happens."

Morqan_Freeman 14

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Saturday 1 February 2014 4:07

Not so important after all now was it? Stupid boss you got there OP. Not only did he say it was important, he was the one to oversleep. *Brings disapproving eyed cat to stare at your boss*

Kamon97 23

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Saturday 1 February 2014 4:24

Welcome to the world of business >.

buttcramp 21

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Saturday 1 February 2014 5:22

I agree, #1. Hopefully, when your boss is deciding on who gets promotions/bonuses, the fact that YOU were prepared will be remembered!

Razell 13

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Sunday 2 February 2014 2:39

@ #48: mmm... not likely!

nurchok 15

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Thursday 13 February 2014 0:03

Agree with #71, in addition, the boss will get the promotion because no one at work will complain about what happened to the higher management...

sevazilla 21

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Saturday 1 February 2014 0:43

Lol get out of the job

Pesticides 19

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Saturday 1 February 2014 0:54

Yeah, if you quit your job after any mishap you're going to have a bad life.

oreyoes 15

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Saturday 1 February 2014 6:05

You've obviously never had a job then seeing your picture and reaction.

SillyGirl4602 23

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Saturday 1 February 2014 10:00

Op's boss seems very irresponsible. But it would be irresponsible of op to quit his job unless he had another one lined up.

larrena2377 26

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Saturday 1 February 2014 0:44

Well at least you already have everything together!

colton_colton 49

Saturday 1 February 2014 3:56

OP deserves a bonus or something for actually being ready!

larrena2377 26

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Saturday 1 February 2014 4:19

Especially since it was so early! I'm worthless at 4am

Bloodcalibur 13

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Saturday 1 February 2014 0:44

Bosses feel as though everything they do can't ever affect the workers

xXKGBxBRIXx 6

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Saturday 1 February 2014 0:44

I had to wake up at 4 in the morning to turn off my TV today if that helps

Bloink 25

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Saturday 1 February 2014 0:48

I know the feels...

WhatsOpTic 11

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Saturday 1 February 2014 5:08

Just don't

kyuubi1 14

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Saturday 1 February 2014 0:50

I think you need a better boss.

weveallbeenthere 30

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Saturday 1 February 2014 0:51

ahh. its good to be the king.

Enslaved 36

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Saturday 1 February 2014 7:34

^Love this quote.(: Fun fact-- even though this movie was called "History of the World: Part 1" they never made a Part 2. They only showed a trailer at the end of the original.