Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Come on Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, things were getting heated with my boyfriend and I told him that I was finally ready to lose my virginity. Clearly he couldn't wait to get started because he fell asleep. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams, unfortunately she called me by my ex-bestfriend's name. FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML
Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
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Top comments
MrPortalFan 21
You'd think a quote like that would inspire you to finish faster.
Catkam623 27
I wish If had my hype man on my first time maybe he coulda pushed me to longer than 10 seconds
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Comments (88)
nrwl_30 17
A man can pretend he's a virgin again...so, pretend like it's your first time... and put some gusto into it!
darryaz 9
I had the same problem with my ex-wife and the kid across the street having the same name. I was constantly cussing my ex out so the kid across the street was terrified of me.
xblackoutblondie 5
Well that's not awkward at all!
thefastnfuryass 14
What a hilarious correlation. Your neighbor's kid must have been learning how to ride a bicycle while you were learning how to have sex :)
Fr0gs 15
You choked, Nicolas.
my2centsworth 15
You can do it, Nicky!!!
mrflibbles 3
Still counts!
MurphyGallagher 18
Well that's awkward... That's the moment when she should have blown you to get you back in the mood...
t9mike 3
I know your first time is exciting but you didn't have to tell you neighbor beforehand
Instinctz_ONLY 4
A virgin and still couldn't finish? Impressive.