Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear, "It's not gonna suck itself." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML
Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that I needed to moan louder so that he knew I was enjoying it. Reluctantly, I put a little 'umph' into my moans during the next round. He pulled out and said, "It's just awkward now." FML
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Top comments
Fx13mz 7
I'm stealing that line from him.
ambowew 7
Time to point to his hand and say 'no, but you're gonna be shaking it yourself tonight.'
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Comments (309)
chillgram31 0
lmao I'm on his side!
BradenLock 4
that's What you get for dating him
VolleyballShawty 0
Well, did u do it?
radicaljerk 0
hahaha well it's not!
King4aDay 0
hahaha my bf woupd totally do that
Alexis07_fml 0
Thats a line from the movie "My Best Friends Girl"...just sayin!
dorkasaurusROAR 7
No he didn't. Just a rumor. (:
rainport 0
it aint so u do it.. lol
eatsocks 0
well it's true ;D
sammystayz 0
hahahaha oh my god thats so great