Today, I was playing my guitar outside my apartment building, and some people had put some money in my guitar case. One guy threw in what I thought was a crumpled piece of paper or something. It was actually a used condom. It leaked all over the money and my case. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was playing guitar on the sidewalk and had my guitar case open for tips. A man came up with a folded piece of green paper, smiled and walked away. After I was finished, I looked at my tips. I unfolded the paper, it was a note that said "You suck!" FML
Today, as I was coming out of McDonald's, there was a street musician playing outside. He had his saxophone case open for money. I meant to give him a ten, and it wasn't until I got home later that I realized I'd accidentally given him a hundred-dollar bill. FML
Today, I was playing my guitar and singing on the street corner. I did earn money, when some guy threw a quarter out of his car window for me. It hit me in the face. I now have a circle shaped bruise under my eye. FML
Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
Today, it was beautiful out. I decided to play guitar at the park near my house. I left my guitar case open, asking not for money but for feedback. I got two pieces of paper with feedback: 1) You're fat. 2) Get a life. FML
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
Today, I heard a woman moaning while I was walking on a sidewalk. I didn't mind, until someone dropped a recently-used condom on my head. FML
Today, I spent hours playing my guitar and singing in the street, hoping to make some extra cash. About 3 hours in, I realized some punk had been walking around with a hat taking money as if he was with me. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with a girl I like, and as I was getting my wallet out, I dropped a condom. She didn't see anything, and I didn't dare pick it up in case I drew attention to the "object". The waiter walked past, picked up, and held it out to me with a huge grin. FML
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Top comments
howslife123 0
I saw a lady throw a bag of dog shit into a guitar case once and the guy sniffed it true story
Calivale 7
eww what an ass. that's messed up.
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Comments (192)
CLUTCHSOME 7
I hate panhandlers.
Jirekianu2 19
that's not panhandling. He's a street performer. panhandling is just outright begging. The shit you see homeless people do at freeway exits. funny enough about a third of the time those homeless people are conning you.
vettle 6
this is by far the worst thing I've ever read. ever.
Karen93_fml 3
Lol that sucks dude.
Fortitudine 3
They see me trollin', they hatin'
Jirekianu2 19
What kind of spiteful psychos say YDI to something like this? I swear. someone could cure all known diseases and they post a story about getting raped in their own home and you'd still see YDI from a few assholes. also, that sucks man.
tacoman007 2
you were panhandling. pay some taxes on your income and maybe I'll care.
jerrod89 0
lmao damn
IamNOTobligated 0
pick it up and stick it to his back, be polite and return
EmilyJoSmyth 4
who carrys used condoms around with them? ewww
RyanMcManus 0
u should of chased him down rubbed his nose in the dirty condom then beat the shit outta him with a news paper