Today, I was playing my guitar outside my apartment building, and some people had put some money in my guitar case. One guy threw in what I thought was a crumpled piece of paper or something. It was actually a used condom. It leaked all over the money and my case. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was playing guitar on the sidewalk and had my guitar case open for tips. A man came up with a folded piece of green paper, smiled and walked away. After I was finished, I looked at my tips. I unfolded the paper, it was a note that said "You suck!" FML
Today, as I was coming out of McDonald's, there was a street musician playing outside. He had his saxophone case open for money. I meant to give him a ten, and it wasn't until I got home later that I realized I'd accidentally given him a hundred-dollar bill. FML
Today, I was playing my guitar and singing on the street corner. I did earn money, when some guy threw a quarter out of his car window for me. It hit me in the face. I now have a circle shaped bruise under my eye. FML
Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
Today, it was beautiful out. I decided to play guitar at the park near my house. I left my guitar case open, asking not for money but for feedback. I got two pieces of paper with feedback: 1) You're fat. 2) Get a life. FML
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
Today, I heard a woman moaning while I was walking on a sidewalk. I didn't mind, until someone dropped a recently-used condom on my head. FML
Today, I spent hours playing my guitar and singing in the street, hoping to make some extra cash. About 3 hours in, I realized some punk had been walking around with a hat taking money as if he was with me. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with a girl I like, and as I was getting my wallet out, I dropped a condom. She didn't see anything, and I didn't dare pick it up in case I drew attention to the "object". The waiter walked past, picked up, and held it out to me with a huge grin. FML
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Top comments
howslife123 0
I saw a lady throw a bag of dog shit into a guitar case once and the guy sniffed it true story
Calivale 7
eww what an ass. that's messed up.
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Comments (192)
smartypants96 3
thats nasty, u shoulda got up up & smack him-or-her
Senior29 8
u must be really gud, he gave u millions of his potential children XD
smartypants96 3
gross way to look at it..
WikedWaffle 0
No that's a great way to look at it
ThreeSheetsGone 12
Spend the money as quickly as you can. no one needs to know about it. Oh wait, you already posted it on FML. Nevermind.
a_b_b_s 1
the money is now stained!
shutupYDI 4
no shit, Sherlock!
kayluhchaos 0
thank you captain obvious
a_b_b_s 1
The money is now stained!
lalala2589 0
Who gives a shut about the money, it's about the case. A good hard shell guitar case isn't cheap. You can just leave the money in your pocket and run it through the wash, the case will always be stained.
sydneymwfca 10
one hell of a tip.
broomhildo 19
How generous of said person.
WikedWaffle 0
judging by how big of a dick he was I'm sure it wasn't his used condom
Tracy98 0
Did you still take the money?!?!?
olms_jesse 3
he probably wanted you yo sell it to a sperm bank.
olms_jesse 3
sorry for the double you