Today, I was playing my guitar outside my apartment building, and some people had put some money in my guitar case. One guy threw in what I thought was a crumpled piece of paper or something. It was actually a used condom. It leaked all over the money and my case. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was playing guitar on the sidewalk and had my guitar case open for tips. A man came up with a folded piece of green paper, smiled and walked away. After I was finished, I looked at my tips. I unfolded the paper, it was a note that said "You suck!" FML
Today, as I was coming out of McDonald's, there was a street musician playing outside. He had his saxophone case open for money. I meant to give him a ten, and it wasn't until I got home later that I realized I'd accidentally given him a hundred-dollar bill. FML
Today, I was playing my guitar and singing on the street corner. I did earn money, when some guy threw a quarter out of his car window for me. It hit me in the face. I now have a circle shaped bruise under my eye. FML
Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
Today, it was beautiful out. I decided to play guitar at the park near my house. I left my guitar case open, asking not for money but for feedback. I got two pieces of paper with feedback: 1) You're fat. 2) Get a life. FML
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
Today, I heard a woman moaning while I was walking on a sidewalk. I didn't mind, until someone dropped a recently-used condom on my head. FML
Today, I spent hours playing my guitar and singing in the street, hoping to make some extra cash. About 3 hours in, I realized some punk had been walking around with a hat taking money as if he was with me. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with a girl I like, and as I was getting my wallet out, I dropped a condom. She didn't see anything, and I didn't dare pick it up in case I drew attention to the "object". The waiter walked past, picked up, and held it out to me with a huge grin. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
howslife123 0
I saw a lady throw a bag of dog shit into a guitar case once and the guy sniffed it true story
Calivale 7
eww what an ass. that's messed up.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (192)
KatieLov3sChu 4
ewwww that's disgusting! wat an asshole
knocking 0
Think positive. Maybe he meant to throw money in, but accidentally grabbed the condom instead. Or he just thought you really 'blew' and wanted to let you know.
diceplaya 12
Yeah, because he would have a used condom in his pocket for the hell of it...
knocking 0
Well I'm assuming he recently had sex. My boyfriend used to put the used condom in his pocket after we were done until he could find a good place to throw it away.
Livinia 11
Okay, now that's just revolting. Some people are ****** in the head.
Jacobt24 19
ear sex?
purpleninjaa 0
Of course you would reply to that...^
paradogz_fml 6
well, your music must be f****n good, I guess. :)
KatieLov3sChu 4
clearly a condom is the highest honor
tona01 16
don't you know that the original grammy was a used condom?!?
iAmScrubs 19
You know what I like to say. When life gives you a used condom, throw it in someone's guitar case!
flockz 20
*when life gives u a used condom, they probably don't want it back.
1215116a 14
when life gives you a used condom, you know no life was made.
dudeitsdanny 10
*when life gives you a used condom, use it to make life cupcake batter.
cynide 13
umm... hit him with your guitar, knock him sense less. i would pay to see that
cameron194 9
I would have chased him down and beat the **** out of him
Omgpwned1234 0
lol because you're tough, right?
jessyrodgers 0
26 no you wouldn't
sydmior 10
#26 Ida. Yeah, that's right. IDA. Here's how this one goes: "if I was there, Ida kicked his ass. Ida told him to go **** himself." You would have done no such ******* thing. You tell this guy a story about something that happened to you, and he's gotta tell you about if it happened to him, he would have reacted in a way more cool and extreme way than you did.
brandybaby1204 0
thats so nasty! nd totally rude!
BIEBERSLAYER 10
people need to respect street musicians they play good music for a quarter or less try seeing a band for that much.
KatieLov3sChu 4
btw I like ur name :D beiberslayer
slushpup9696 12
Maybe he's a fan of the band Slayer, but also likes Bieber. ...that'd be a terrible combination.
smurfsarwales 9
58- I really hope not. I hope he meant it on another way
stroudie94 9
now you have sex money!