Love: Today, my boyfriend decided that a good time to have our first... - FML

01/08/2010 18:06 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend decided that a good time to have our first kiss was on a roller-coaster, right before a huge drop. He bit through my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 839

You deserved it 5 858

The smell detective is on the case

Forever the bridesmaid

Mind your own beeswax, Amanda

28/08/2015 07:21 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my girlfriend uninvited to me a party because she said her ex would be there, and since she hasn't told him about us, she didn't want him getting upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 794

You deserved it 2 853

11/11/2010 14:27 - United States

Today, I found out the real reason why my brother wasn't at his fiancé's Halloween party. He's been in jail for the past 3 months. When was anyone going to tell me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 430

You deserved it 3 156

24/08/2019 00:02 - Argentina - Buenos Aires

Today, my mom was named principal of the school I go to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 685

You deserved it 211

11/05/2017 16:00

Spicy

Today, after ordering it four weeks ago, I finally got the expensive figurine that I'd been wanting. Also today, my brother jizzed onto it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 021

You deserved it 382

16/03/2010 02:27 - United States

Today, I was so bored I googled the word "bored." The results were boring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 309

You deserved it 40 744

23/12/2016 04:16

Today, my period has given to me 4 giant zits, 3 screaming shits, 2 stomach ulcers, and a fever blister on my lips. A few days until Christmas and the gifts keep coming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 138

You deserved it 639

20/04/2014 04:52 - United States - Englewood

Today, I went hiking with my family. A local had told us about the trail, saying the two mile walk would lead us to a seventy-foot waterfall. After seven miles of trekking in the sweltering sun with no food, we finally found the waterfall. It was barely ten feet tall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 127

You deserved it 7 282

14/07/2011 20:21 - United States

Today, my tonsils swelled to roughly the size of golf balls. My mom refuses to take me to the hospital because she's convinced I got it from kissing someone, and until I "fess up", she's not budging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 879

You deserved it 3 141

06/07/2018 15:00

Today, I automated a task at work and a day-long procedure ran in a few hours. My boss was completely unimpressed because "I'm not paid to automate stuff, I'm paid to work". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 668

You deserved it 288

"Hey, where the white women at?"

By Steven, Customer Service - 17/02/2017 10:00 - United States - Dover Plains

Today, I took a call from a man who said his dating apps are connecting him with "black and oriental women" when he only wants white women. I spent 47 minutes on the phone with this customer trying to explain that I am only an AT&T Service Rep and have no control over any dating apps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 770

You deserved it 440

You idiot!

By Anonymous - 28/10/2019 22:00

Today, I didn't want to hang out with my girlfriend so I could binge watch Pawn Stars instead. When she asked me why not, I lied not very convincingly and said my mom was sick and needed my help. She now thinks I'm cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 2 861

04/05/2011 14:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was introducing me to some business partners. As he was going along telling me their names, when he introduced me, he called me by my best friend's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 152

You deserved it 3 714

12/11/2012 02:16 - United States - Lake Placid

Today, I finally met the girl I've been talking to on phone for a while and found her charming in person as well. There's just one problem: she has more facial hair than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 479

You deserved it 6 577

31/08/2018 14:30

Today, after my live-in boyfriend decided to take a few days away due to a fight, I found out he's been staying with and sleeping with my aunt. I just lost a relative and a man all in one shot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 209

You deserved it 230

Oh nooooo

By Fucked. - 26/04/2021 07:59

Today, my supervisor at work is now my father-in-law. My girlfriend told me that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 734

You deserved it 154

06/10/2011 20:35 - United States

Today, my new coworker asked if I knew her daughter. I responded yes and asked how her pregnancy was going. She didn't know her daughter was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 704

You deserved it 6 813

22/04/2011 01:53 - United States

Today, in order to avoid seeing my ex-girlfriend in class, I changed my schedule for "personal reasons." Apparently she had the same idea and changed her schedule as well. We now have all the same classes together. Before, we had just two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 300

You deserved it 9 743

19/02/2014 06:24 - United States - Londonderry

Today, a customer at work pronounced the word "Asian" as "Ah-See-Awn" when ordering a salad. I wasn't allowed to say anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 123

You deserved it 4 274

28/12/2010 06:54

Today, I found out that my parents didn't come to my wedding not because they couldn't make it, but rather that my younger brother didn't want to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 455

You deserved it 2 555

03/06/2016 22:26 - United States - Bloomington

Today, as part of my job at a pet store, I helped our frat house president pick out goldfish for the new aquarium the big brothers are installing over summer break. And, once I'm initiated, I'll get to swallow one of the fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 986

You deserved it 4 083

20/05/2013 11:57 - United States

Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 375

You deserved it 3 539

31/08/2015 16:27 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I saw my ex for the first time since we broke up. We were on a train next to each other for 6 hours, to a festival where our tents were pitched next to each other. We're here for 5 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 363

You deserved it 2 390

12/08/2012 15:49 - United States - Bend

Today, I invited my girlfriend over to a family lunch, planning to propose to her at just the right moment. My family was in on it, including my apparently disapproving mom, who kept causing a scene to grab my girlfriend's attention every time I went to pull out the ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 569

You deserved it 2 769

12/04/2012 17:54 - United States - Modesto

Spicy

Today, my wife and I decided to try role-playing. I started cleaning the pool. waiting for her to come out and be sexy, but she never did. I'd cleaned the entire pool before going into the house to ask why she never came out. She said she tricked me into cleaning the pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 938

You deserved it 21 788

Badass over here

By Morgan - 12/09/2020 23:01 - United States

Today, my sister burned herself on purpose with a curling iron. Why? She thought it would be cool to have a scar that "tells a story." My sister is 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 372

You deserved it 120

11/06/2019 04:00

Today, I was expecting an important delivery for a party I'm having tonight. I was in the shower when the doorbell rang. In my haste, I slipped and ended up with a bunch of little cuts and bruises. Turns out, it was someone trying to leave a note saying it would be delivered tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 671

You deserved it 161

10/05/2012 21:22 - United States - Bothell

Today, I had to get a prostate exam. Right before the doctor started, he told me that if I found it awkward at all, I should just imagine I was being probed by aliens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 974

You deserved it 2 399

01/02/2010 19:29 - United Kingdom

Today, I was giving a class presentation, when I suddenly sneezed so hard I wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 820

You deserved it 4 099

07/06/2014 19:16 - United States

Today, at college, I was frantically trying to finish an essay on gay rights that was due less than an hour later. In the end I failed, because the college internet filters kept classifying every single page containing the information I needed as "sex", and blocked it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 739

You deserved it 15 080

07/08/2013 22:24 - Egypt

Spicy

Today, my mum picked up a bunch of tissues that were scattered around my room. She examined them, then asked me to stop wasting her potential grandchildren. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 501

You deserved it 44 066

10/02/2017 09:00 - United States - Waunakee

Today, at work a lady asked for a burrito, large coke, and hot sauce. While repeating back the order, the words got stuck and I accidentally said large cock. I got written up for being inappropriate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 720

You deserved it 961

25/09/2014 06:21 - United States - Highland

Today, I was told by my doctor I should start eating meat again after two years of vegetarianism, in an effort to be healthier. After horrid gas after my first turkey sandwich, I was told that my body no longer has the enzymes to digest meat. My efforts to be healthy crippled my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 785

You deserved it 16 608

30/12/2008 11:14 - France

Today, as a prank I shook my girlfriend's can of soda. I hadn't noticed that it was already open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 126

You deserved it 53 361

He's trying to kill you!

By Mary - 21/10/2019 22:00 - United States

Today, while at a party, my boyfriend threw a temper tantrum. He screamed at me and then gave me the silent treatment. All because I said, "No thank you" to the crab dip he got for me. I'm allergic to shellfish, we've been dating for two years and it's come up before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 796

You deserved it 199

17/10/2011 04:04 - Canada

Today, my sister had a friend for a sleepover. They filmed a video in which the friend was lying in my bed, singing. An hour after the girl went home, her parents called. She has lice, and had brought them to our house unknowingly. I can see each and every individual larva on my pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 508

You deserved it 2 700

22/03/2017 16:00

Today, I got a phone call from my boss, who'd hired me after two months of waiting and begging for this position. A week into the job, the company is closing our store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 652

You deserved it 405

12/11/2014 22:50 - France

Today, as my kitten was sleeping on my lap, my boyfriend crept up on us and yelled, "BOO!" to make me jump. I wasn't scared, but the cat was. He tensed up and jumped to the floor. He also apparently had the runny shits, spraying me and the couch on his way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 666

You deserved it 3 563

25/04/2009 03:10 - United States

Today, I was taking the bus home. A dirty homeless man boarded the bus, put his bag on the overhead rack, and sat down. His bag was leaking and dripped onto my shoulder. I asked the man what it was. He said, "Roadkill." I now have dead animal blood on my best business suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 587

You deserved it 3 398

28/12/2009 21:42 - United States

Today, I decided to take a nap while listening to my iPod, on the lowest volume possible. My girlfriend woke me up by turning the volume all the way up. I still can't hear out of both ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 721

You deserved it 5 206

The cupcake incident

By kandi - 04/05/2009 07:34 - Philippines

Today, while at the bakeshop, I got bored waiting in line so I rested on the glass protecting the cupcakes. Turns out there was no glass. I had to pay $50 to cover all the mess and had to walk out of the bakeshop with icing all over my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 417

You deserved it 79 705

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Top comments

perdix 29

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Sunday 1 August 2010 23:25

I'll bet that was a real letdown.

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Sunday 1 August 2010 23:22

Through the lip ? Ouch.... well atleast it was memorable.

Comments

jellybeans4833 7

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Sunday 1 August 2010 23:20

that's SUCKS!!!D:

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Sunday 1 August 2010 23:22

Ha, FAIL #2!! You deserve it, no one cares.

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Sunday 1 August 2010 23:27

No, you're not.

RecklessJellyBea 7

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Sunday 1 August 2010 23:29

Consider yourself lucky. Most girls don't get to experience such an intense kiss

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Sunday 1 August 2010 23:35

omg! ouch! the rest of the rioller coaster must have been horrible!!!

epr 0

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Sunday 1 August 2010 23:36

It was a nice attempt..

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Monday 2 August 2010 1:51

And you decided it was a good time to kiss back??? Both FYL because that really sucks and YDI because you apparently leaned close enough for him to bite through your lip and solely blame him.

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Monday 2 August 2010 2:02

I love your pic number 10

dabomblyktiktikk 0

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Monday 2 August 2010 2:12

man, trolls suck, but u suck at being a troll. damn you doubly suck. you should go away ): haha jk bout the last part.

TaylorTotsYumm 10

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Monday 2 August 2010 2:41

It's a new type of piercing :D

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Monday 2 August 2010 4:39

Actually it bites....

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Monday 2 August 2010 5:44

this sounds like a funny story people will tell if you and your boyfriend het married.

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Monday 2 August 2010 5:58

thats why they say youll never forget the 1st kiss

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Monday 2 August 2010 6:40

don't complain that was a really sweet idea

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Monday 2 August 2010 8:42

why the fuck did he bite you he must be retarded it's not that hard to give someone a kiss on a rollercoaster

BoyFromTheFuture 0

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Monday 2 August 2010 9:00

when he said you look good enough to eat he meant it;) did he follow this up with some fava beans and a nice chianti?

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Monday 2 August 2010 9:15

its funny because your not first

gangstalife4me 0

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Monday 2 August 2010 10:20

suprise lip piercing

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Monday 2 August 2010 10:45

Ohh. Sorry. That bites. Lol

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Tuesday 3 August 2010 2:23

ugh tht suxx

GeekMaster6000 3

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Tuesday 3 August 2010 8:45

Q-fucking-Q

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Saturday 7 August 2010 6:44

Surprise lip biting > surprise butt secks

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Wednesday 18 August 2010 20:39

how could u and your boyfriend reach each other on a roller coaster!! *Long Necks Maybe?*

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Sunday 1 August 2010 23:21

first

PineappleEspress 0

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Sunday 1 August 2010 23:43

Pillow

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Monday 2 August 2010 1:10

glasses

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Monday 2 August 2010 1:26

circle with a line going through it

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Monday 2 August 2010 7:43

list of above pictures

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Monday 2 August 2010 8:46

Your face? :D

deafeningsilence 8

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Monday 2 August 2010 18:22

Um, striped sweater! :D

0___0 9

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Tuesday 3 August 2010 4:37

face.

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Monday 23 August 2010 0:13

nakedness

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Wednesday 10 August 2011 5:20

Fail.

ieatunicorn4fun 7

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Monday 24 October 2011 4:20

Large Penis

eb0ny 15

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Thursday 22 March 2012 22:01

^^ and these comments serve as an example why I love FML commenters.

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Thursday 5 July 2012 7:42

Parge Lenis

battleroyalefan6 16

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Tuesday 27 May 2014 20:33

fancy as fuck cat

ChocolateEclaire 0

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Sunday 1 August 2010 23:21

Ouch...

BlackbeltSubo 4

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Tuesday 26 July 2011 15:17

Well, every relationship has it's ups and downs.

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Sunday 1 August 2010 23:22

Through the lip ? Ouch.... well atleast it was memorable.

ralphgragasin 0

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Sunday 1 August 2010 23:42

I'll fuck u on a roler coaster!!!

LightningLadyy 0

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Sunday 1 August 2010 23:51

That's a compliment coming from Avenged Sevenfold. Take that offer.

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Monday 2 August 2010 1:59

Avenged sevenfold is the best! R.I.P. the Rev.

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Monday 2 August 2010 5:44

oh gosh ur pic scares me #31

LightningLadyy 0

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Monday 2 August 2010 8:06

88, I know. Those are my friends little sisters posters. she had millions O.o

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Sunday 1 August 2010 23:23

oh shiet not good at timing huh?

perdix 29

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Sunday 1 August 2010 23:25

I'll bet that was a real letdown.

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Sunday 1 August 2010 23:25

lip ring?

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Sunday 1 August 2010 23:43

lol! good way to look at it. sucks for you op!

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Monday 2 August 2010 0:54

You could say he bit off... *puts on sunglasses* More than he could chew. YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

thatonekidjohnny 0

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Monday 2 August 2010 1:13

I now have great respect for you.

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Monday 2 August 2010 1:35

haha 50 ftw but the idea of it was romantic it just didnt turn out as hoped :S

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Monday 2 August 2010 6:51

50, well played. But, isn't it usually the Miami dude on here that does those? :P

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Monday 2 August 2010 9:19

lol!!!!!

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Sunday 1 August 2010 23:25

lmao wow that really sucks :P

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Sunday 1 August 2010 23:31

It takes two to tango. You didn't have to kiss him back. Don't blame it all on him. You could have avoided it. YDI. (but sorry about your lip)

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Sunday 1 August 2010 23:32

hey! he tried...

Nearly

Today, I just had the best sex in all my life. After that, my ex-girlfriend dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48

You deserved it 4

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 7

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I have an internal defibrillator from trauma to my heart 12 years ago. I finally experienced for the first time what it's like when it shocks me. Nothing says I'm a keeper like getting kicked in the chest and smacked upside the back of the head with a baseball bat while clapping cheeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 59

Today, I’m aware that comparing yourself too much to other people can make you unhappy. I now learned that the same goes for comparing yourself to objects. For example, between myself and the shared toilet in my student house, guess who has the most pubic hair? FML

I agree, your life sucks 533

You deserved it 149