Today, a man attempted to sue my business for giving him food poisoning. I make soap. When I called the cops on him for disturbing the peace, I was told, "Maybe next time you'll put 'not edible' on your label." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after weeks of stealing lunch from one of my employees, he made a sandwich with canned cat food, soap, and something unimaginably spicy that caused me to spew all over my office and laptop. I fired him. Now everyone is treating me like a monster. FML
Today, I found out that I'm being sued for posting on Facebook about a customer service experience with a local company. Even though we have witnesses, the owners of the store claim that we're lying about the whole thing and that we're "malicious". FML
Today, I was preparing a customer's meal in my restaurant's kitchen, when I choked on my own saliva and went into a coughing fit. The head chef, who's always hated my guts, accused me of trying to hock a loogie into the meal and fired me on the spot. FML
Today, tired of people letting their dogs crap in my yard, I sprinkled an assortment of crushed peppers around my lawn as a deterrent. One dog went to do its business and had some sort of allergic reaction. Now its bitchy owner is threatening to sue me, and tried to have her daughter kick my ass. FML
Today, I made a fresh juice for a customer. He called the cops because the juice was too acidic for him. He sat in a corner and waited for two hours for them to arrive. Obviously, they didn't turn up. So he yelled at me and left. FML
Today, some punk tried the "flaming bag of dog poop" trick on me. I caught him in the act and smashed the unlit bag across his face. Now he's "traumatized" and wants to press charges. FML
Today, I have been victimised by a lunch thief at work for months, despite numerous complaints to management, so I exposed the thief by lacing my curry with that old classic, laxatives. Even though my coworker was caught brown-handed shitting himself, I was the one suspended for making him sick. FML
Today, I wrote a bad review for a pizza place after their pizza gave me food poisoning. Now, they won't stop calling me, begging me to take my review down in exchange for free pizza. I have tried to tell them that I wouldn't eat their pizza again even if I got paid to do so, but they won't listen. FML
Today, at work a customer bitched me out for not explicitly telling her that our peanut butter pancakes contain real peanut butter. She's threatening to sue because she's allergic to peanuts. FML
Today, I brought a cupcake to school for my friend's birthday. After taking one bite, she exclaimed that it was the worst thing she had ever tasted and that we should sue the store that I bought it from. I baked it myself. FML
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Top comments
KingDead 18
Common sense; not so common
that1guyyy 12
You should really clean up your act.
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Comments (145)
jdime209 2
Maybe he thought it was a candy bar named "soap"
viper8608 9
there should be a law exempting stupid people from being able to sue. and then remove all warning labels and have a cleansing of retards. maybe by the end the human race would be better off
Czech_Zidane 14
You make SOAP, OP? SOAP??? S O A P ? ? ? Really? But if you really make SOAP, you should tell the customer something like "Well, mister, a soap is something, that helps you with cleaning your hands, you should not eat it!" ;-)
ViviMage 40
If you make food scented or shaped soaps, yes. I see esty users mark the soap not edible. It's called a CYA.
goose12321 11
It's a shame it didn't kill him, we could do with one less dumb ass like this. Ffs what an idiot. Better notify the power company, he'll probably sue them next for jamming scissors into the wall socket, or the water company for drowning himself in the sink.
charvisioku 22
Put poison in it in future; natural selection.
Iceman226 17
Seriously? People will sue for anything now a days. As long as they don't actually have to work for "their" money. The legal system should establish consequences for those that bring up legal battles and lose.
ardencred 7
a reasonable person should know that soap is NOT edible unless you make the soap look like food!
SMurphy501 6
NATURAL SELCTION!
claudzzzz 5
im a cashier, youd be surprised at the dumbasses there are hah