Today, a week after my dad discovered Family Guy and started mindlessly repeating catchphrases from it 24/7, I finally lost my temper and told him how incredibly annoying it was. He just paused, turned to look me in the eye, and said, "Shut up, Meg." FML
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Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my family in which a character said "Fuck you, dad." My dad then slapped me over the head to get my attention and said, "Never talk to your father like that." Okay, dad. FML
Today, when I had a go at my husband for spending way too much time in front of the TV, he pointed the remote control at me while miming turning down the volume in order to make me shut up. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad singing along to a song on Sesame Street. He tried to divert attention from what I'd just witnessed by angrily grilling me over "just barging in" and not respecting people's privacy. Apparently he forgot that we were in the living room. FML
Today, once again, my family had a loud conversation over the television show I was quietly watching. Ironically, the moment they watch something they like, even if it's a re-run episode, you have to be quiet or you'll be called a monster. Simply say "Hi" and they'll pause the TV to look at you like an annoyance. FML
Today, my dad stopped me mid-sentence and said he wanted to punch me in the face and set me on fire for using the word "selfie". FML
Today, whenever my dad says something and I (genuinely) don't hear him, he repeats it in an extremely slow and condescending manner. My family says I should "get a sense of humor" because I'm rightfully pissed about this. FML
Today, I spoiled a TV show I've seen that a friend has started binge-watching by saying, “Episode 7 really did my head in.” His face turned from excitement to annoyance, and has vowed revenge, saying, "Great, I'm going to be anticipating episode 7 for the next few hours thanks to you, stop talking to me." FML
Today, my father is incapable of doing anything without cursing and swearing so loudly that the neighbours hear him. If I ask him what’s wrong or to stop swearing at inanimate objects, he starts yelling at me for "jumping all over him." I can’t win. FML
Today, for the first time in my 20 years of life, I heard my dad unironically say the f-word. I was so shocked by it that I became became practically frozen for a full minute, which is not a very good thing to happen when you're at work, and your boss is watching you. FML
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Top comments
broderickc 13
Your dad sounds awesome.
Superstitious 6
Shut up.
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Comments (153)
Likian5 26
If it's only mindless quotes, then ydi for blowing up on him. Family Guy is great.
googlesoar 4
I wish my dad was like that. It would feel like everyday was a different episode.
Cathaniel 4
you have to admit, that was an awesome comeback
roflstomp716 19
this would be even funnier if your name is ACTUALLY meg
blackonblight 32
Are we talking pre-cancellation Family Guy or post? Because after it came back it things got mean spirited and/or just annoying rather than funny far too often.
googlesoar 4
I disagree! I love the new episodes
blackonblight 32
I feel like post cancellation they let the show get away with a lot more offensive for offensives sake than the earlier seasons, where it really built up to those jokes, and you only got one an episode, so it had to be a real winner. I haven't cared much for recent seasons... Oh gods recent is more than four years now, isn't it. I've outgrown it, I guess.
perdix 29
Don't turn him on to Seth McFarlane's other masterpiece, "Ted," unless you want a Thunder Buddy and hookers who'll shit on your floor.
fukre 3
He he... Enjoy it my friend...;)
doodlebug33 20
Oh that's nasty (cleveland)
rt156 16
I never liked that show.But ur dad is funny
Boredboard 3
This post. "Shut up, Meg"