Poopoo peepee and Health: Butterfingers

Butterfingers

By caqi33 - 08/03/2011 18:23 - United States

Today, I dropped my urine sample on my pants. Not only do I now not have a sample, it looks like I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 214

You deserved it 9 003

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Same thing different taste

Straining

By NoPeeGiven - 14/04/2013 05:10 - United States - Palatine

Today, I had to go to the clinic for a physical. The nurse asked me for a pee sample; however, I had no urine to give. After 20 minutes of standing at the stall I was able to squeeze half a cup of pee. As I approached the sink to cover the sample, I somehow managed to drop it all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 882

You deserved it 9 979

By slaughterteddy - 20/07/2016 23:23 - United States

Today, I spent two hours trying to catch a urine sample whilst at urgent care due to my inability to pee in public restrooms. I finally managed one, and was so excited by my success that I fumbled it and spilled it on my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 034

You deserved it 2 543

By urinanalysis - 03/12/2009 16:08 - Canada

Today, I went to get blood and urine tests done before work. As I was attempting to aim into the cup, I lost balance and slipped. I ended up peeing on my sleeves and my pants. I was late for work and I smelled like pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 361

You deserved it 7 304

By heck - 12/08/2016 13:57

Today, I took a drug test. Not only did I fail the drug test, but I mostly missed the sample cup and got urine all over my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 152

You deserved it 18 508

Fast and Furious

By TooQuick - 27/04/2016 12:19 - Mozambique - Maputo

Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 012

You deserved it 2 788

Messed up

By socal000 - 20/10/2011 12:04 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor for a physical. I've been sitting in the doctor's bathroom for 10 minutes now, trying to think of how to tell him I accidentally tripped and spilled my urine sample on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 074

You deserved it 4 863

By analbel - 05/11/2018 12:00

Today, I had to get a urine analysis done for my doctor. I take medicine that makes me a little shaky sometimes. Guess who spilled their pee all over themselves while trying to put the lid on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 843

You deserved it 217

AKA taking a screenshot

By Anonymous - 05/10/2020 11:02 - United States - White Plains

Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 095

You deserved it 381

By Tib - 18/12/2009 06:42 - United States

Today, I had to take a urine test. I drank a lot of water so that I wouldn't force it. When I got there, I had to pee really bad. The cup was too small and when I relieved my bladder, it was a jet that rebounded off of the cup and overflowed going all over my hands, clothes, toilet, and floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 387

You deserved it 26 468

By Anonymous - 28/11/2010 20:03 - United States

Today, my friend peed her pants while we were sledding. I could feel it trickling down into my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 502

You deserved it 2 918

Buggi_fml 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 23:45

You did

bigbadtim 7

Tuesday 8 March 2011 23:49

Urine trouble now.

Comments

IdontWanna69 8

Wednesday 9 March 2011 0:00

Hah, I'd be pissed...

KenzieDanae 0

Wednesday 9 March 2011 0:27

Ooh, I see what you did there.

Primus_fml 0

Wednesday 9 March 2011 1:52

Stevie Wonder could see what he did there.

mcnally664 5

Wednesday 9 March 2011 1:56

yeah...that was a wee bit obvious

rebekahmarie 0

Wednesday 9 March 2011 8:19

oh you're clever !

PeteyPablo12308 20

Wednesday 9 March 2011 0:01

Yay! I've done the exact same thing!!! Mine went all over my shoes as well. :-P

alexandra412 2

Wednesday 9 March 2011 0:03

Well done, MC Pee Pants!

sweetchiliheat 0

Wednesday 9 March 2011 14:36

Little Brittle!!

CaptainPickles72 18

Wednesday 9 March 2011 0:20

Your parole officer is gonna be pissed.

zeta24 0

Wednesday 9 March 2011 1:00

im sure it smells like it too

lolwutdino 9

Wednesday 9 March 2011 1:18

You pisser..ha. FYL. 0:

LilithHellfire 0

Wednesday 9 March 2011 1:22

and it smells like it too

jewels1877 0

Wednesday 9 March 2011 1:23

But only you can feel it's true warmth!

alkaid 14

Wednesday 9 March 2011 1:38

" I now not have.."??

nerdsgetmehot 22

Wednesday 9 March 2011 1:56

Well, in a way...You DID piss yourself.

nikki9tails 3

Wednesday 9 March 2011 6:01

totally agree

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The Top

Today, I attended a family gathering where everyone was taking turns sharing exciting life updates. When it was my turn, I proudly announced that I'd finally mastered the art of adulting... only for my dad to pipe up with, "Makes a change from when you used to wank like a gibbon thinking we couldn't hear you up there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 184

Today, my wife told me that when she was actually pregnant with her ex's child; she was insatiably horny and always wanted sex. Too bad for me, because the current pregnancy has made her repulsed by any sexual contact. Thanks for telling me, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 232

You deserved it 220

The Top

Today, my boss hired a feng shui consultant for our small office space. I am the only full-time employee besides the owners, and I work as an unpaid intern. My company would rather pay someone to rearrange my desk than pay me to work at it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 130

You deserved it 4 300

Today, while waiting in line to get my medication, a man who just got his prescription looked me up and down and said "Penis pills, right? Ya look like the type." Then he walked out as a couple of other guys in line started snickering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 752

You deserved it 1 815

Today, drunk at a party, I leaned through a window to throw up. I was outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 214

Today, a guy told me I "kind of look like a girl" if he looked at me from the right angle. Well, I am a girl, and this is the closest thing to a compliment that I've gotten in years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 253

You deserved it 3 444

Today, I sat to the right of a girl I really like. I passed her a note asking her to homecoming. She read it, then hurriedly passed it to a hideous girl sitting on her left, who said yes, then hugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 178

You deserved it 12 435

Today, I was called a "Potato" for at least the 30th time by people online for living in Idaho. I've lived here my whole life, I have yet to see a potato farm. None of these people has even left the East Coast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 528

You deserved it 2 225