Today, I was driving down a dark country road with the windows down. Suddenly, a giant barn owl flew through my side-window and smacked into my head, causing me to drive into a ditch. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, while driving my car near a farm, I hit a man on the side of the road. I started freaking out and got out of the car to help him. It was then that I found out that I'd hit a scarecrow. FML
Today, as I was driving home from work, a bird decided to commit suicide by flying in front of my car. The shock caused me to slam on the brakes, totaling three other cars in the process. FML
Today, I was driving around my campsite at dark in the middle of a forest. My father thought it would be funny to run up to my window, put his face against the glass and scream. I drove into a tree. FML
Today, while driving and singing, I noticed a large fly inside my car. I stopped singing so it wouldn't fly into my mouth. That didn't stop it from flying up my nose, causing me to swerve and drive into a ditch. FML
Today, I was standing around looking out the window at work when it became really dark and windy and started to pour. I watched a shopping cart fly across the parking lot thinking how funny it'd be if it hit someone's car. It hit mine. I need a new headlight. FML
Today, while driving home, I swerved to avoid turning a duck and her babies into roadkill. Another car was coming around a sharp bend at the time and swerved to avoid hitting me. In the end, we both ran our cars off the road, and he took out several ducks in the process. FML
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Today, I was driving my parrot home from the vet. As I was driving home, I decided to let her sit on my shoulder. Something scared her, and she started flapping in my face, causing me to crash my car into a tree. FML
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Top comments
ObsceneOblivion 4
Owls have better eyesight than humans when it's dark. Maybe it was saving you from something out there :)
jellycorn 13
Hedwig?
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Comments (161)
reject214 10
that's why you use the A/C and keep the windows up!
Enslaved 38
"Mr. Owl, how many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop!?"
ucoolgirl31 20
New pet?? I think so!! :)
amatoy 11
You're a wizard, Anonymous. The headmaster sent the owl to give you your acceptance letter to Hogwarts.
Rodders_SOTC 1
O Rly? :o
AdamsHadEm 5
hahahahaa!!! deff fml!
gracehi 33
You're new here, so I'll be nice. There's this nifty little icon for that right underneath the FML. Just click on it and, wa-la!, you have voted that OP's life sucks. You're welcome! :D
capslockisgood 19
I hate it when that happens!
stormchaser24 24
Are you sure it was an owl? The wingspan on those on those are about 5 feet.
stormchaser24 24
Sorry my mistake the wingspan is about 40 in.
bunny409 14
Brave the black forest!
trucker67 10
Sorry to hear that - it happened to a fellow truck driver I know , his window was closed and he was driving down a dark country road at night when an owl flew at his passenger window and hit the the window so hard it broke and once inside the cab the bloody owl went crazy and started to attack the driver .he was lucky and kept it upright but had to drive in 40 below weather with a broken window.