Today, my in-laws were visiting. My mother-in-law asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He said "A pimp!" I have no idea where he even heard the word, but the death glares my in-laws gave me made me want to shrivel up and die. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, while at a family reunion, I jokingly asked my 18-year-old son, "When are you and your girlfriend going to give me a grandson?" He then retorted, "When are you going to die?" I was unable to answer at all. FML
Today, my son's teacher asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. He put down "unemployed". FML
Today, thanks to an idiotic, "hilariously edgy" advert that screened in the very early evening, my 6-year-old son keeps repeating the phrase "I want a vasectomy" to everyone he sees. I've never received so many dirty looks in my life. FML
Today, I'm beginning to regret explaining death to my 3-year-old son. We were at the supermarket when he looked at an elderly woman and loudly told her "You're gonna die soon!" FML
Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML
Today, I overheard my in-laws talking about me. It started off with light insults and ended with, "People like her are the reason murder ain't always wrong". FML
Today, I got an angry call from my 7-year-old son's school. It turned out that while doing a "what I want to be when I'm older" assignment, he wrote that he wants to be an internet troll so he can make people mad and make them kill themselves. FML
Today, I visited my in-laws, whom I thought I was on great terms with. I soon learned that wasn't the case when my mother-in-law yelled at me about how I've been abusing her for years. Ten minutes later, she hugged me and asked me for grandkids. FML
Today, I took my kids to visit their grandma. At one point while playing, my youngest said "Shit!", so I admonished her. My mom snorted and told me to "stop being such a little bitch", because it will make my kids into "lame prisses like their mother." FML
Today, while out shopping, I could hear what sounded like two grown men talking about me, and they were being pretty gross. I turned around to scold them and it turned out being a dad and his 13-year-old son. He said he was, "teaching a son to be a man", and that my ass was "grounds for discussion." FML
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Top comments
karma_kicks_back 16
I love how the in-laws instantly assumed it was your fault... because some kid at school couldn't have said that word to him, it's obviously your fault... Bitches be trippin' my friend.
dman1997 5
At least he has a plan.
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Comments (63)
nreed32 20
Make sure to let him know that pimpin' ain't easy.
smokecloud_ 37
Cuz it's hard out here for a pimp.
Steve95401 49
Is there an FML badge for being a pimp?
PenguinBitch 43
No. *Pimp slap*
LittleMissShadow 16
Welcome to public schooling
Astrum14 24
Right, because nobody who goes to a private school has ever heard the word pimp.
SkullsRules1 26
Who cares what she thinks, he's just a kid, who probably doesn't know the proper meaning of a pimp. It was probably just something he heard of a TV show :p
Charles900 16
Yeah, I remember getting in trouble at school for explaining to my classmates what a pimp was; I was one of the only ones who did. He might know what it means, but usually, they don't; it just sounds cool to them. Either way, your in-laws shouldn't be holding you responsible.
Mr_Mole 24
Grow a pair and just laugh it off.
ProfessorMctitie 20
Damn, 10 years old and he already has his priorities straight.
j_cat187 19
pimps make good money.
kirbs19 37
He probably heard it on the play ground. It's tough out there
cmac86 23
He's gonna need a bigger hat.