Intimacy: Bad, bad, bad

Bad, bad, bad

By Anonymous - 01/03/2014 10:30 - United States - Saint Joseph

Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for years. There was just one problem: it was so terrible I said, "I think I might be straight" about five minutes in just so it would stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 422

You deserved it 15 678

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

Time waster

By le_evan - 29/10/2012 20:49 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I had sex with this guy I had been crushing on for five years. It took longer to put my clothes back on than he lasted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 442

You deserved it 6 691

Disappointed

By WhatALetdown - 25/11/2015 00:26 - United States - Danbury

Today, I had sex with the guy who had been the main subject of my bean-flicking fantasies since I met him. It was the absolute worst sex of my life. I guess some things are just better left to the imagination. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 631

You deserved it 5 514

Bad sex

By Anonymous - 24/06/2022 22:00

Today, I had sex for the first time in two years. With a man I love, who is handsome, very nicely equipped, and quite good at it. I was in pain the entire time. It took me 3 tries to realize there is something physically wrong with me, and once I get it fixed, he'll be gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 648

You deserved it 221

By YouDontSay - 10/05/2015 15:35 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for ages. We were lying in his bed afterwards, and he mumbled the word "happy". I thought it was really sweet, until he repeated himself. "My girlfriend probably won't be too happy about this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 525

You deserved it 6 897

You'd know by now

By Anonymous - 15/01/2016 04:51 - United States - Burbank

Today, I was going to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. He couldn't get hard and pouted about it for nearly two hours. When I went to comfort him, he said, "Man, I hope I'm not gay." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 418

You deserved it 2 451

By Anonymous - 18/08/2018 03:30

Today, I had sex with a guy I'd had a crush on for a long time. When I asked if he was having trouble putting it in, he answered that he was fully in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 040

You deserved it 666

No. Just… No.

By none - 22/08/2013 04:27 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I had sex. The guy texted me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 369

You deserved it 8 817

By notsohappy - 18/02/2009 21:14 - United States

Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 118 873

You deserved it 11 077

By Anonymous1221 - 21/11/2016 07:12

Today, I was told by the guy I've liked for years that he would date me if he was straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 139

You deserved it 1 456

By Anonymous - 10/01/2012 03:30 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards, he said he was in love with me and that he wants to be with me forever. It was also at this time I realised that I can't stand him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 235

You deserved it 38 773

PenguinBitch 43

Monday 19 August 2013 9:19

That must have been a pain in the ass.

Bevspeaks 11

Monday 19 August 2013 9:18

Well you should have been honest instead of lying, what if he sees you with another guy? That'll hurt him worse than the truth.

Comments

REFF_fml 9

Monday 19 August 2013 9:44

Is he blind lol jk jk

lbrown66 12

Monday 19 August 2013 9:44

This situation sounds like quite a pain in the ass

QQMorePlox 18

Monday 19 August 2013 9:46

Took me a moment to realize what I had just read. At Least you can say you REALLY enjoyed his personality (:

Grauncho 27

Monday 19 August 2013 9:49

He's about as clueless about the prostate as straight guys are about the G-spot.

Keywords

Mental health Work Students Relatable Parenting Kids Embarrassing Love Awkward Intimacy Wanker Family AITA First Dates Singing Cats Animals Weddings Public freakouts Bodyshaming Transportation Cops Cars Sex Sexism Growing old Health Periods Job interview Education

The Top

Today, my wife and I got frisky in the living room, completely forgetting we recently gave our adult daughter access to our home security cameras for safety reasons. The cameras didn’t see anything but she now keeps making fun of my orgasm noises, which apparently she found hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 495

Today, I got home from working at KFC and hopped straight into the shower. I could see that the water was being tinged yellow by the grease that had got plastered on me at work and was now coming off, so I started gagging and almost threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 790

You deserved it 204

The Top

Today, I learned that while anybody can call me a bitch, my husband got mad at his aunt for calling our dog a mutt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 744

You deserved it 3 736

Today, my wife and I are about to move across the country when the landlord for our new house called and said a water line busted and flooded the house. The movers are coming tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 926

You deserved it 2 146

Today, I'm still learning how to drive stick. I went to pick up my son from school and stalled out during high traffic. The crossing guard had to rescue me by getting in my car and pull it out of the flow of traffic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 219

You deserved it 616

Today, my GPS led me to a "shortcut" that took me through a winding dirt road in the middle of nowhere. My car got stuck in the mud, and the tow truck driver told me I was the third person he's pulled out this week from the same "shortcut." FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 158

Today, my husband waited until our honeymoon to reveal his scat fetish, because he didn’t want me to think he was too weird to marry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 823

You deserved it 168

Today, despite being unable to stand for more than a few minutes at a time or walk farther than a few hundred feet, the doctor told me to begin doing 30 minutes of non-stop exercise everyday. He literally said, “Don’t stop for 30 minutes everyday.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 766

You deserved it 200