Today, I saw a quarter in my poop. My friends say I do stupid things when I get drunk. Apparently, eating change is one of them. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I learned a little lesson about consequences. Yesterday, I ate a quarter as a dare. Today, I tried to poop it out. It got stuck coming out. I had to go to the doctor and explain everything. FML
Today, after buying dinner from the supermarket, I had the change in my hand, and my wallet. In the parking lot, a quarter fell out of my hand, and right next to the street drain. As I went to pick it up, my wallet fell down the drain. FML
Today, while at the vending machine, I put in my $20 instead of my $1. I got my change back in quarters. FML
Today, I put my paycheck in my wallet, intending to cash it in the next day. Later on, I met up with a friend and went to a party. I ended up getting so drunk, I gave away my $400 check in exchange for a pack of smokes, thinking it was a $5 bill. FML
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Today, I saw a dime on the ground. When I bent down to pick it up, my $80 dollar pants ripped. FML
Today, I was so hungry and broke that I resorted to drinking salad dressing. FML
Today, I was in the shower when I realised that maybe I'm getting a little too fat. I was scrubbing the old belly when a dollar flew out onto the floor. I'm 23. FML
Today, in the shower, a dime fell on my foot. The only place it could have come from? One of my fat rolls. FML
Today, I had a rumble in my tummy whilst picking up groceries. I tried to let out a little poot, but ended up shitting in my pants. I had to leave without the groceries. FML
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Top comments
MrSchneebly 5
Kepp checking your poop you could be rich by next month
davidisbeast 12
At least you got the quarter back :D that's a whole TWENTY FIVE cents !
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Comments (129)
brick_man33 14
you bring a new meaning to playing "quarters".
darkmis1 18
You might wanna go see a doctor about that. Pica and alcoholism are two very dangerous things.
Ins0mau 20
Getting drunk on the odd occasion does NOT make you an alcoholic! FML is full of teetotallers.
ayseventura 2
You're ******** money, that's not FML
ErinBeam 1
Uhmm OP, why were you checking your poop in general?
greenorange75 8
You eat change? Now we know why Obama's plan never worked.
mrssuarez2011 12
Oh wow.
mccutie936 6
Well, af least your shit is worth something
erockinthesuburb 17
Does your anus have change for a five?
hateevryone 15
hahahahahha what do you drink?
JukeboxValkyrie 19
OP can avoid being mugged this way, he doesn't need a wallet anymore.