Today, I saw a quarter in my poop. My friends say I do stupid things when I get drunk. Apparently, eating change is one of them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I learned a little lesson about consequences. Yesterday, I ate a quarter as a dare. Today, I tried to poop it out. It got stuck coming out. I had to go to the doctor and explain everything. FML
Today, after buying dinner from the supermarket, I had the change in my hand, and my wallet. In the parking lot, a quarter fell out of my hand, and right next to the street drain. As I went to pick it up, my wallet fell down the drain. FML
Today, while at the vending machine, I put in my $20 instead of my $1. I got my change back in quarters. FML
Today, I put my paycheck in my wallet, intending to cash it in the next day. Later on, I met up with a friend and went to a party. I ended up getting so drunk, I gave away my $400 check in exchange for a pack of smokes, thinking it was a $5 bill. FML
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Today, I saw a dime on the ground. When I bent down to pick it up, my $80 dollar pants ripped. FML
Today, I was so hungry and broke that I resorted to drinking salad dressing. FML
Today, I was in the shower when I realised that maybe I'm getting a little too fat. I was scrubbing the old belly when a dollar flew out onto the floor. I'm 23. FML
Today, in the shower, a dime fell on my foot. The only place it could have come from? One of my fat rolls. FML
Today, I had a rumble in my tummy whilst picking up groceries. I tried to let out a little poot, but ended up shitting in my pants. I had to leave without the groceries. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MrSchneebly 5
Kepp checking your poop you could be rich by next month
davidisbeast 12
At least you got the quarter back :D that's a whole TWENTY FIVE cents !
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (129)
thefuckinloser 6
yes keep up the good drunken tricks maybe just maybe you will ******* choke then the md can put it out of your throat . hey try a silver dollar next time or even a fifty cent piece
googlewtf 0
The wanted some gum?
SpruceDread4578 13
Where is Docbastard when you need him?!
admhll 2
I don't think that's what they mean when people say they are making a change in their diet.
Nhk_fml 4
Who the **** doesn't do stupid shit when they are drunk..... Me I called pizza hut and ordered 2000 large pizzas on my credit card
konstantinos616 17
Om nom nom...
ImfromCanada 0
So f***ckingfake
False_Stupidity 42
Man, you really need to CHANGE your diet...
reldnahceus 8
Lol- fail!
Nattyxxoo 0
talk about money coming out your ass.