By toxic waste - United States - Tonawanda Today, I unknowingly bought a house next to a former toxic waste dump. I found out by reading an article in the paper where residents are claiming that they are experiencing cancer and birth defects. FML I agree, your life sucks 34008 You deserved it 7237 108 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my boss came over to my desk and struck up a casual conversation about movies. After a while, he sat on the edge of my desk, nodded toward my chest, and said in the same casual, lighthearted tone, "And nice cleavage today. Keep that up." FML I agree, your life sucks 59082 You deserved it 13679 421 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By apparentlyawomanbeater - Switzerland - Cadempino Today, I was on the bus during rush hour. A fly started buzzing around my head, and I swatted at it, at the exact moment the woman beside me decided to get out of her seat and put her face straight in the path of my hand. FML I agree, your life sucks 25895 You deserved it 3068 105 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Thistle - United States Today, I filled out an application at WalMart after being unable to find a job in three months. I just graduated from law school. With honors. FML I agree, your life sucks 54513 You deserved it 5103 181 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By idiot - United States Today, I was sitting in my car waiting my shift to start. I must've fallen asleep because I woke up to a call from my boss firing me. I was in the parking lot. FML I agree, your life sucks 12022 You deserved it 23402 59 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Kate - United States Today, my mom said we are having a party for the 4th of July. Her definition of a party is my grandma coming over. FML I agree, your life sucks 31619 You deserved it 3916 126 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By LondonKitsch - United States Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML I agree, your life sucks 50740 You deserved it 29683 256 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Oh Cock - United Kingdom - Watford Today, I realised just how much my favourite pornstar looks like my sister. FML I agree, your life sucks 25023 You deserved it 7868 122 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I asked out my best friend via facebook graffiti. He then accidentally wrote his rejection as his status instead of on my wall. More people liked his status than the number of friends I have on facebook. FML I agree, your life sucks 28588 You deserved it 8670 111 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Enyo - Reserved Today, I found my dogs freezing outside. My neighbor was supposed to watch them while I was away, and on my way home I called to let her know she should let them have a quick walk. She thought I'd be home soon enough that she wouldn't have to let them back in. It was minus 10c out. FML I agree, your life sucks 39570 You deserved it 4223 172 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Modesto Today, I found out why the parents whose children I babysit use me so often and on such short notice. It's not because they have abrupt nights out; it's because their kids hate me, and me being around is their way of punishing them. FML I agree, your life sucks 38192 You deserved it 3763 65 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I saw my four-year-old son running around outside, and copying everything our dog was doing. I thought it was cute, so I went to grab the camera. When I went back outside, I saw my dog eating a dead rabbit, and my son doing the same. FML I agree, your life sucks 43895 You deserved it 6377 135 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my brother came out on Facebook, with a message including the words "I got nothing against gays. Except my dick!" I replied "Eww!" My second comment, "Eww because of the analogy, lol." disappeared among a load of replies tearing me apart for being a homophobe. FML I agree, your life sucks 11851 You deserved it 3216 54 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 3 years. I got reservations for a romantic dinner, and at the end, fireworks would spell out my proposal. The whole thing had taken weeks to plan out and had cost me a lot of money. She proposed to me at a subway station first. FML I agree, your life sucks 58740 You deserved it 8971 314 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Sweden - G?teborg Today, I had to pick my son up from school after he beat the crap out of another student. The words that made him go nuts were apparently, "You mad, bro?" FML I agree, your life sucks 29684 You deserved it 4207 279 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Unknown - United States Today, while at the beach, I was mistaken for Snooki. FML I agree, your life sucks 51218 You deserved it 27446 440 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Elmo - United States Today, is my brothers 16th birthday. He got keys to the Lexus. I'm 18, have no car, and got pajama pants and chapstick for my birthday. FML I agree, your life sucks 73605 You deserved it 4070 80 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By me - United States Today, a guy came by my house and demanded my fiancé come out and fight. He explained that my fiancé had been stupid enough to not only troll on a local interest forum, but to leave his name and our address, inviting people to "come shut me up if you think you're tough enough." FML I agree, your life sucks 29997 You deserved it 3558 152 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML I agree, your life sucks 69393 You deserved it 5130 238 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lonely - Australia Today, I found out that despite having attended every university party held over the last two years, the only physical contact I have had with a member of the opposite sex is when the security guard stamps my hand. FML I agree, your life sucks 35492 You deserved it 8363 89 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Mudge - United States - San Francisco Today, my friend said that his dad told him we couldn't hang out anymore, he thinks I'm a bad influence because I don't have all 90's in my classes. The only reason he knows I have below a 90 is because he's my geography teacher. I have an 87. FML I agree, your life sucks 20395 You deserved it 1461 53 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sciencenat - France - V?lizy-villacoublay Today, as a natural science teacher, I was drawing a uterus on the class chalkboard. One of my students started messing around and being noisy, so I shouted, "Be quiet and check out my uterus!" FML I agree, your life sucks 22789 You deserved it 5069 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia Bored Today, I caught myself thinking about what to cook for dinner tonight. During sex. FML I agree, your life sucks 31249 You deserved it 7223 175 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By foreverafatty - United States Today, I learned that I can work out for over an hour a day, cut my daily calories by almost half, keep careful track of my diet, drink nothing but water, and not lose a pound. But I can sure as hell gain weight after one dinner at a buffet. FML I agree, your life sucks 30527 You deserved it 15754 305 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Thanks dicks Today, I got naked in front of a girl for the first time. Too bad it happened when my "friends" pulled down my swimsuit at a party. Everyone saw my penis. I got a boner. FML I agree, your life sucks 3602 You deserved it 332 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By the girlfriend - United Kingdom Today, at my boyfriend's house, I met his mother for the first time. And promptly fell in their pond. FML I agree, your life sucks 27991 You deserved it 4135 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, I pulled into a parking lot and waited for a car to back out so I could take their spot. The apparently batshit insane psychopath in the other car managed to completely overlook me waving him out, and backed straight into my car. FML I agree, your life sucks 23181 You deserved it 5042 150 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By neuroticallyours - United States Today, I told my boyfriend how happy I was with him. He responded by pulling down his pants and slapping his ass. I have no idea what that was supposed to mean. FML I agree, your life sucks 38020 You deserved it 5921 169 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Mountain View Today, my fiancée said that our relationship is doomed because an astrologer said so. We only have a few more days until our wedding and she won't listen to a word I say. FML I agree, your life sucks 28689 You deserved it 2534 133 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ouch - Canada - Vancouver Today, while running on the treadmill at the gym, I tried to wipe some sweat off my brow before it could make its way down into my eye. I ended up poking myself in the eye so hard that I yelped, stumbled and was thrown off the still-moving treadmill while trying to regain my balance. FML I agree, your life sucks 42353 You deserved it 7217 54 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By frownyface - United States Today, my family and I were burning our Christmas tree. For a laugh, my dad jokingly pushed me toward the fire. I tripped, and my doctor says the burns are probably going to scar. FML I agree, your life sucks 45443 You deserved it 3173 178 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By B_McG - Canada Today, I found out that my mother has been purposely wrecking every relationship I've had since junior high because ''no one is good enough for her little girl''. FML I agree, your life sucks 41751 You deserved it 2903 91 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By notsosmart - Australia Today, my son broke a window at school playing football. Not only did he break one, he broke the other window next to it. His excuse? He tried making it look like a bird flew in one way and flew out the other. I have to pay $800 to fix it. FML I agree, your life sucks 37186 You deserved it 4483 152 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 7/8/2020 08:08 Like what you see? Today, I accidentally sent a nude to my cousin, instead of the girl who shares the same name. She liked it. FML I agree, your life sucks 702 You deserved it 1402 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Scaredshitless - France Today, after waiting to get home to go to the bathroom, my six year old neighbor popped out and literally scared the shit out of me. FML I agree, your life sucks 31820 You deserved it 3713 96 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fucking har har, dad - Australia Today, two days after leaving hospital with a broken left leg, I tripped and fell heavily on the floor. My dad quickly asked if I'd broken my other leg. When I reassured him that I hadn't, he disappointedly muttered that it would've been a hilarious story to tell his friends at work. FML I agree, your life sucks 25456 You deserved it 2358 106 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By seriouslywtf - United States Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML I agree, your life sucks 117105 You deserved it 9256 232 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 11/9/2020 05:02 Might never happen, love Today, I was blocked by a girl I like. She said I was mean for not understanding why she hates when people tell her to smile. I worked as a waiter and hated when people told me to smile all the time. Yet I'm the one who doesn't understand, apparently. FML I agree, your life sucks 1032 You deserved it 262 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By gullible - United States Today, I travelled across an ocean to visit the guy I'm dating. He lied to me about his apartment; he lives in a dorm with a twin-sized bed and a bathroom he shares with 8 guys. Just now, after taking 3 trains from the airport to his "apt", he asked me to edit his essay while he goes to class. FML I agree, your life sucks 27859 You deserved it 8522 133 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my girlfriend and I got in an argument so intense that she left saying that we needed to spend some time apart. The argument was over what was the best PIXAR movie. FML I agree, your life sucks 19280 You deserved it 25364 116 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By riley873 | 21 #7716570 - Tuesday 30 October 2018 22:57 Take that poor creature out for a walk! Send a private message 2 0 Reply
By Nhayaa | 21 #7716653 - Wednesday 31 October 2018 4:31 Ahahah I love the cat watching left and right, looks like a tennis match ! Send a private message 1 0 Reply
By riley873 | 21 #7716570 - Tuesday 30 October 2018 22:57 Take that poor creature out for a walk! Send a private message 2 0 Reply
By Nhayaa | 21 #7716653 - Wednesday 31 October 2018 4:31 Ahahah I love the cat watching left and right, looks like a tennis match ! Send a private message 1 0 Reply
Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much... I agree, your life sucks 446 You deserved it 105 6 Comments
Today, I came early from my job, just to find my boyfriend in bed, with my dad. FML I agree, your life sucks 884 You deserved it 45 7 Comments