Transportation: Today, I got an alarm installed in my car, and was having problems...

By md. - 25/11/2009 04:08 - Canada

Today, I got an alarm installed in my car, and was having problems with it not going off when the car was hit. To demonstrate this to the installers, I bumped my car with my hip, which left a dent, and set the alarm off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 553

You deserved it 28 387

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Same thing different taste

Trashed

By rainey - 03/02/2010 06:27 - United States

Today, my car alarm went off so I went outside to investigate. Apparently, the abundant rain water in my street had swept a trash can five houses down, only to be stopped by my car. My bumper was dented by a run-away waste receptacle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 413

You deserved it 2 585

By Noname - 13/03/2009 03:42 - United States

Today, I woke up to find my car broken into. After being upset for not hearing my car alarm go off I realized it had in the middle of the night. I had woken up and cursed the idiot who set off their alarm and put a pillow over my head, falling back to sleep shortly after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 784

You deserved it 54 240

By tracelee - 03/03/2009 09:22 - United States

Today, I hit a parked car. I was walking. To make the scene more embarrassing, the car alarm shocked me and I backed up quickly into the parking meter, knocking me down once more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 527

You deserved it 13 246

By Anonymous - 25/10/2013 17:20 - United States - Tacoma

Today, my car was broken into, on the same night I stayed up late researching how to install my new car alarm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 102

You deserved it 3 434

Stealth mode activated

By KeithFFS - 21/10/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I sneaked out of work early. I tripped over my own feet while walking up to my car. As I fell, I managed to hit the panic button on my car keys, setting off my car alarm while I lay flat on the ground in the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 510

By Anonymous - 10/11/2009 19:18 - United States

Today, I got a new CD player for my car and an alarm installed for added security. After work, I saw my windows smashed, the CD player gone, the alarm wires cut, and a note that said, "Try again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 121

You deserved it 2 717

By Garrett - 10/03/2017 15:00 - United States - Vista

Today, after I arrived at work, somebody crashed into my parked car and left a big dent. The impact pushed my car up onto the curb and I got a parking ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 724

You deserved it 357

To top it off…

By leo - 22/01/2023 12:30

Today, my alarm turned itself off, leading to me sleeping in and showing up to work two hours late. Throughout the day, I kept on fumbling my words because my job requires me to speak mostly in my second language rather than my first, and I'm not great at it. On my way home from work, I backed into a pole with my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 911

You deserved it 216

By Anonymous - 13/09/2012 20:37 - United Kingdom - Harlow

Today, my car alarm went off during a funeral. Three times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 802

You deserved it 3 754

Ninja move

By kiran - 24/10/2009 04:19 - United States

Today, I went to the post office. As I entered the building, my car alarm went off. Thinking I'd accidentally pressed the alarm on my keys, I shut it off without looking. When I returned to my car, the passenger window was demolished and my purse with all my money was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 074

You deserved it 39 653

betamaxjim92 0

Wednesday 25 November 2009 12:36

you dented your car with your hip? you have a concrete ass or somethin?

badbunny 0

Wednesday 25 November 2009 9:59

you must be wide bottomed.

Comments

akiranozaki 0

Wednesday 25 November 2009 9:23

On the bright side, the alarm's working!

hackymeal 0

Monday 19 April 2010 13:51

I am IronMan!!!!!! lolz

badbunny 0

Wednesday 25 November 2009 9:59

you must be wide bottomed.

reiyu 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 22:00

yea, you deserve it for denting the junk in your trunk with the junk in your trunk.

katherinebby17 28

Wednesday 25 November 2009 11:15

just get it fixed i don't think it'll cost too much

nokillnobeepbeep 0

Wednesday 25 November 2009 11:27

Someone needs to staple the "Wide Load" sign to your ass. And install some bumpers while you are at it.

aeloata2 0

Friday 19 August 2011 11:55

LOL

betamaxjim92 0

Wednesday 25 November 2009 12:36

you dented your car with your hip? you have a concrete ass or somethin?

chakrabs 0

Wednesday 25 November 2009 12:49

Are you the bionic woman or something? How do you leave a dent with your hip?

Jenmaree 9

Wednesday 25 November 2009 12:54

YDI for getting a car alarm. All they do is go off for no reason in the middle of the night and keep people awake.

Dixie_Normous 0

Wednesday 25 November 2009 13:00

My thoughts exactly.

chickchick_fml 0

Wednesday 25 November 2009 13:03

Why in the world would you feel the need to bump into your car that hard?? Lmao Yes, I agree FYL.

ergo_fml 13

Wednesday 25 November 2009 13:56

How did your hip dent the car?!

icanfloat12 0

Wednesday 25 November 2009 15:02

car alarms never work. never.

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The Top

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 636

You deserved it 42 714

Today, I put lemon juice in my hair as a cheap and easy way to get highlights. I left it in my hair and I laid out in the backyard to get some sun. The sunshine wasn't the only thing that found me; it seems every bug in the neighborhood is now hiding in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 540

You deserved it 51 165

The Top

Today, I told my daughter that she's going to be a big sister, because there is a baby growing in my tummy. She's been sobbing because I can't convince her that I didn't eat a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 480

You deserved it 640

Today, over the past 48 hours, my husband has ignored a dog with a broken leg, because, “It’s not our dog, so it’s not our problem,” and also ignored a young lost boy crying for his mother in Asda, because, “He’s not our son, so who cares?” I think I want a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 743

You deserved it 262

Today, in class, I volunteered to read a poem out loud. I accidentally said "circumcised" instead of "circumscribed". I don't think I"ll be volunteering to read anything more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 096

You deserved it 4 531

Today, I went to a Dodger game with my crush. Between innings, the "Kiss cam" came up on the big screen. The camera happened to land on us, and when my crush saw us on the screen, he leaned away from me and buried his face in his hands. Everyone saw, and sympathetically said "Awww." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 235

You deserved it 3 653

Today, I'm going on an 8-hour drive with my insane family. This usually means screaming arguments, graphic conversations about my dad's pubes, some karaoke, plenty of farting, some stale Pringles, and an obese golden retriever on my lap the entire time. Arizona, here we come. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 477

You deserved it 4 094

Today, I learned the valuable lesson that taking care of a baby crow isn't the best idea. He finally can fly away, but sits on my porch all day cawing for food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 200

You deserved it 13 402