Sex, Family, Awkward and Intimacy: All you need is hate

All you need is hate

By dev - 28/08/2011 06:18 - United States

Today, I was at a family reunion, but I've always hated my family. I walked up behind my husband and said, "I can't wait to go home and get it on." My husband turned around. It was my uncle, wearing the same hat as my husband's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 878

You deserved it 40 814

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Same thing different taste

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

By Anonymous - 11/11/2020 11:02 - United States - Kenton

Today, I had a family reunion and there were a lot of people there that I didn't know. The person that I'd been sleeping with for about 7 months showed up. He's my cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 219

You deserved it 313

By TappedAnts - 08/04/2016 01:45 - United States - Seabrook

Today, I went to a family reunion with my brother and my mother. She spent quite a while giving a glowing introduction for my brother to one of her cousins. Then, just before walking off, she jerked a thumb in my direction and said, "Oh, yeah, and that's his sister." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 086

You deserved it 1 337

Family snapshot

By Anonymous - 25/10/2016 05:06

Today, our family reunion began with my sister calling my brother's current crazy girlfriend by his last crazy girlfriend's name and ended with my dad telling my adopted niece that he wanted a family picture without her in it, but she could be in the next one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 303

You deserved it 814

By Rory - 23/07/2009 04:26 - United States

Today, I got very dressed up and was excited for my uncle's wedding. While standing in line for photos, I heard my dad's voice from behind me say "Who's the hot chick in the brown dress?" My uncle responds "Uh, that's your daughter." Silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 474

You deserved it 4 812

By Anonymous - 29/07/2013 19:07 - United States

Today, I was walking home from the store when I saw my uncle. I went over and gave him a surprise hug. He grabbed my ass. He wasn't really my uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 573

You deserved it 21 138

Tense dinner

By Anonymous - 25/01/2024 00:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I went to dinner with my husband's family to celebrate our nephew's birthday. He spent the entire dinner flirting with his sister, then got offended when I said that his behavior was weird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 150

Red flag

By Anonymous - 04/09/2022 22:00

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend after we went to my family reunion. I heard him complaining that I didn't have any "slutty cousins" he could cheat on me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 630

You deserved it 194

By Oops - 04/07/2014 17:35 - United States

Today, I was at the gym, when I saw my uncle at the front desk. I quietly went up behind him and slapped him hard on the back while yelling "What's up, loser?!" He turned around. It wasn't my uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 959

You deserved it 43 572

The long game

By Not this again.... - 26/09/2023 10:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I visited my Grandma's house, and my uncle happened to be there. As expected, and all the time, he greeted with his signature shit-eating, "I see what you did there" face. He's been doing that to me ever since he saw me masturbating when I was a little kid. I'm 47, married, and have 2 kids now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 132

By Anonymous - 03/09/2009 13:25 - United States

Today, I was talking to my sister-in-law on the phone. She brought up the family reunion last weekend and how my family is so strange. I didn't know there was a reunion, I wasn't invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 305

You deserved it 2 678

kings1fan 6

Sunday 28 August 2011 12:26

Look on the bright side. Your uncle doesn't know you hate your family. He just thinks your horny as hell!

coolkid_matt 11

Sunday 28 August 2011 12:21

Awkward! :S

Comments

whennotlooking 0

Sunday 28 August 2011 15:14

That's like my worst fear. I hope that never happens to you again.

izzabella43 0

Sunday 28 August 2011 15:15

Karma is a bitch

RebekahBrooke 9

Sunday 28 August 2011 15:28

D: run. away.

azpallen 0

Sunday 28 August 2011 15:30

Biskdb

ice723 5

Sunday 28 August 2011 15:31

and what he said.....oh its about time let's find a coat room!!!!!

ruthchun92 2

Sunday 28 August 2011 15:35

people who can spell

mic203 2

Sunday 28 August 2011 15:36

jst made it easy for the creepy uncle

fashionistaGirll 0

Sunday 28 August 2011 15:38

At least she didn't say:" I can't wait to **** your brains out" or smthn like that!

IWATCHYOUSLEEP 7

Sunday 28 August 2011 16:03

Woof

coltsrock37 15

Sunday 28 August 2011 16:25

The only bright side to this is that it was your uncle and it might be forgiveable, but had it been HIS uncle...

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I brought my best friend home and told my dad we were going to study together. He loudly replied "Woah!", stumbled around for a few seconds like he was drunk, then apologized and said the "sheer amount of gayness" between us had overloaded his gaydar. We're not gay, dammit! FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 753

You deserved it 3 574

Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 683

You deserved it 7 123

The Top

Today, after many, many years of desperate bodily insecurity and therapy, I woke up next to the man of my dreams, who told me the sex was wonderful. Apparently, gin plays wonders with my memory. I don't remember a thing. And that was my first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 705

You deserved it 897

Today, I had my first driving lesson. I learned how to be stopped by a cop, who told me what a horrible driver I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 003

You deserved it 3 955

Today, my boyfriend found out that male goats will stick their tongues out, snort, and garble at female goats in heat. Now he's doing it to me at all manner of times, sound effects and all. I now know why goats ram their heads into things repeatedly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 171

You deserved it 2 309

Today, I was, once again, yelled at by multiple tourists because I don't speak their language, even though they could neither speak English or Norwegian. They also yelled at me for not accepting Euros. Norway is not a part of the European Union. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 652

You deserved it 1 437

Today, at work, I met a new client for the first time. Apparently he thought it would be a good idea to get drunk beforehand and spend the whole appointment telling me about his 9-inch "drill bit." I have to try and find this guy a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 276

You deserved it 2 566

Today, I went to see a movie by myself and ended up sitting next to a couple on a first date, who spent the whole movie whispering to each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 739

You deserved it 154