So he found a way to have the fun parts of COVID without all that icky coughing and dying. Respect!

Maybe he can fake his death too so you can take bereavement leave and join the fun!

If not for some sloppiness with his browser history, he almost executed the perfect plan to get out of dull, boring, tedious and dreadful events while garnering sympathy to boot! Oh, yeah, happy belated birthday!

Why wasn’t he in the spare room?

Oh I totally would’ve used the same instructions to fake my own test and mess with him while you both isolated in the bedroom! I would’ve been the most annoying person for the hour before I couldn’t hold it in and lost my shit at him!

so he would rather fake a life threatening illness that over a million people have died from, in order to get out of family responsibilities... what a respectful guy. make him sleep in the spare room and tell everyone what he did!

Get hold of a couple of NBC suits and have some friends dress up and take him away for proper quarantine on the grounds that they've discovered he has omicron. You can have all kinds of fun with him if he decides it's smarter to play along than admit he lied.

lock the bedroom door from the outside

Why didn't he just say that he needed some alone time?