Covid, Quarantine, Liar and Coronavirus: Alexa, play "Isolation" by Joy Division

Alexa, play "Isolation" by Joy Division

By Anonymous - 01/12/2021 01:58

Today, my husband has been isolating for 6 days in our bedroom, with me sleeping in the spare room, since his positive COVID test. I found instructions for how to fake the positive result on our shared iPad. He lied to get out of work, my birthday, and my parents' anniversary party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 027

You deserved it 266

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
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Same thing different taste

Free vacation

By Anonymous - 10/07/2021 14:01

Today, I learned my husband was told to isolate for 10 days but hid it from me and pretended to go to work every day, then snuck back home after I left to take the kids to daycare, and has basically had a chore and child-free holiday, playing Xbox every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 065

You deserved it 252

Stranded

By Anonymous - 27/12/2020 01:01 - United States - Saint Joseph

Today, my husband found out that not only has he tested positive for influenza A, but also has tested positive for Covid 19. My work won't let me return until I have isolated for 14 days from someone with Covid. Our house is really small. FML

I agree, your life sucks 870

You deserved it 170

Circular

By Mario Hugo - 05/07/2021 20:00

Today, I was tested positive for Covid-19, after suffering with some of the symptoms of the disease two days ago. Last week, I had to pretend I was infected with it to avoid going to a friend's party, as my ex-girlfriend would be there. Ain't life a bitch? FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 1 418

Sneaky

By Loser - 08/12/2021 10:58

Today, I found out why my husband faked being sick on Thanksgiving. He was invited to Thanksgiving dinner by to the coworker he’s seeing. She was planning to introduce him to her family. He never told her he was married, so knowing I would tag along if he came, he faked having a “fever” so he couldn’t go out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 628

You deserved it 128

A stopped clock is right twice a day

By Anonymous - 16/03/2022 00:00

Today, my ex told my boss I’d been faking my negative Covid tests. A complete lie, but I had to take a test in front of my boss, just in case. It was positive. I have never faked a test and had no idea I was infected, but my boss fired me for faking tests. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 381

You deserved it 164

Deception

By Anonymous - 08/03/2021 01:59

Today, I found out my husband was faking his leg injury. I caught him out and about walking just fine, hand in hand with another woman. I’ve been caring for him, holding down the bills, and taking him to an "at home" chiropractor for the past 7 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 604

You deserved it 95

Dealing with it

By Anonymous - 26/03/2020 02:05

Today, my husband's idea of social isolation is to lock himself in his caravan with his Xbox, 200 cans of beer and a dozen takeaway menus. I’ve not seen him in 6 days, and when I tried to force entry to tell him to snap out of it, he sprayed disinfectant at me until I couldn’t breathe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 148

You deserved it 486

Together, forever

By ForeverLost - 26/03/2020 20:21

Today, my wife asked me for a divorce, shortly after I found out she's been having an affair. Then our county placed us on quarantine for Covid-19. Now I'm stuck living with her until it goes away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 398

You deserved it 180

Nice try

By Anonymous - 12/06/2009 04:41 - United States

Today, I discovered that my fiancé had tried to fake his own death because he thought it would be easier than confessing to the affair he was having. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 657

You deserved it 3 492

Bad timing

By Bogrbon - 30/06/2022 04:00

Today, on the first day of the first week off together with my family in six months, we’re all quarantined with positive COVID tests. By the time we’re off quarantine, I’ll be back at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 811

You deserved it 158

diraven 15

Wednesday 1 December 2021 2:14

So he found a way to have the fun parts of COVID without all that icky coughing and dying. Respect!

Lydmyers 9

Wednesday 1 December 2021 10:11

so he would rather fake a life threatening illness that over a million people have died from, in order to get out of family responsibilities... what a respectful guy. make him sleep in the spare room and tell everyone what he did!

Comments

diraven 15

Wednesday 1 December 2021 2:14

So he found a way to have the fun parts of COVID without all that icky coughing and dying. Respect!

It_gets_better 19

Wednesday 1 December 2021 4:09

Maybe he can fake his death too so you can take bereavement leave and join the fun!

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 1 December 2021 7:28

If not for some sloppiness with his browser history, he almost executed the perfect plan to get out of dull, boring, tedious and dreadful events while garnering sympathy to boot! Oh, yeah, happy belated birthday!

1known 30

Wednesday 1 December 2021 8:24

Why wasn’t he in the spare room?

Advance 56

Wednesday 1 December 2021 11:34

I guess the main bedroom has an adjacent bathroom and the spare room doesn't. So if she brings him food, he doesn't have to get out of the room.

Nikki 17

Wednesday 1 December 2021 9:32

Oh I totally would’ve used the same instructions to fake my own test and mess with him while you both isolated in the bedroom! I would’ve been the most annoying person for the hour before I couldn’t hold it in and lost my shit at him!

Lydmyers 9

Wednesday 1 December 2021 10:11

Earl_KarmasBitch 34

Thursday 2 December 2021 2:16

Get hold of a couple of NBC suits and have some friends dress up and take him away for proper quarantine on the grounds that they've discovered he has omicron. You can have all kinds of fun with him if he decides it's smarter to play along than admit he lied.