Today, at work I noticed that the last of my pencils had been taken from my desk. I assumed it was the coworker who I've talked to at least ten times regarding taking my stationery. I approached her and, feeling brave, yelled at her in front of the entire office. I was holding the pencil. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was bored at my office, so I started flicking my pencils at my door. My boss walked in right then to give me a raise for my "outstanding" work. She scared me so much when she walked in that I flicked a pencil right at her face. FML
Today, a "friend" of mine decided stealing my very low amount of sticky notes repetitively to make origami and show off was okay, even though I had repeatedly asked her to stop. Then, when I snapped, I was the bad guy, and everyone who was around started stealing my pencil case to get them. FML
Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML
Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's office while she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulled the pen out during a meeting. My colleague looked at me, horrified. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazoned on it. I'm a man. FML
Today, at work, somebody stole my sunglasses. Fed up with the constant theft in my office, I stormed up to my boss, as he had long ago promised to catch the thief. He listened patiently to my rant before pointing out that my sunglasses were on my head. FML
Today, there was a meeting at work, during which I had to give a presentation to my boss and other attendants. The first subject I had to tackle was how my 5 year-old son got to my briefcase and replaced its contents with some crayons and a fluffy teddy bear. FML
Today, my psycho boss snatched a file from my hand so aggressively that I got a papercut. She then scolded me for bleeding on the papers. FML
Today, my boss asked me to pick up some supplies for a presentation. I entered the store in the middle of an armed robbery, was knocked to the floor, and had my cash, phone and credit cards stolen. When I told my boss the story, she said, "So were you able to get the binder clips?" FML
Today, I laughed at a coworker for breaking a chair during a meeting. Ten minutes later, I sat in another chair, and it snapped under me. My coworker just whispered, "Karma, bitch." FML
Today, at work, I had a customer accuse me of taking the giftcard I had issued her for her return, after spending 15 minutes trying to fix her screwed up transaction. She began to yell, and follow me around the store. Security had to intervene and I had to be locked in an office until she left. FML
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Top comments
WOLiF_922 0
What a dick.
aero_fml 0
Owned! But if I were her I'd do it again. Just to mess with you.
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Comments (95)
ReportAbuse 0
FYL for using a pencil and being black.
Fail_Pig 0
YDI for not using a toothbrush to write with.
blackwidowtaco 31
Whut?
firewall_joe 0
What !!! Are you kidding me.
Neferria 0
You deserve it for feeling "brave" and being a dummy.
DameGreyWulf 1
Okay, everyone bashing on her for getting upset over pencils -- I think it was more the fact that someone was getting in her desk and taking pencils whenever they felt like it that upset her, not the fact she had to go get new pencils. Yet still OP you're ******* retarded. God, why are you a woman. Why does it seem it's always a woman.
SpitFyre 0
Wow, you're an ass. And even if they had taken the pencil, you'd still be an ass. What a massive overreaction.
kbs123456789 0
you're an idiot, and even if she had taken the pencil, that would be a stupid reason to 'yell at her in front of the entire office'. either way, you'd look like the asshole. YDI for throwing a shit fit for no reason.
orangef1zz 0
That's what you get for being a retarded bitch.
original_joe 0
You're a douche.
Nightfallz 0
ydi for yelling at a co worker. you'll probabally get fired for creating a hostile work environment.