Today, at work I noticed that the last of my pencils had been taken from my desk. I assumed it was the coworker who I've talked to at least ten times regarding taking my stationery. I approached her and, feeling brave, yelled at her in front of the entire office. I was holding the pencil. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was bored at my office, so I started flicking my pencils at my door. My boss walked in right then to give me a raise for my "outstanding" work. She scared me so much when she walked in that I flicked a pencil right at her face. FML
Today, a "friend" of mine decided stealing my very low amount of sticky notes repetitively to make origami and show off was okay, even though I had repeatedly asked her to stop. Then, when I snapped, I was the bad guy, and everyone who was around started stealing my pencil case to get them. FML
Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML
Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's office while she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulled the pen out during a meeting. My colleague looked at me, horrified. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazoned on it. I'm a man. FML
Today, at work, somebody stole my sunglasses. Fed up with the constant theft in my office, I stormed up to my boss, as he had long ago promised to catch the thief. He listened patiently to my rant before pointing out that my sunglasses were on my head. FML
Today, there was a meeting at work, during which I had to give a presentation to my boss and other attendants. The first subject I had to tackle was how my 5 year-old son got to my briefcase and replaced its contents with some crayons and a fluffy teddy bear. FML
Today, my psycho boss snatched a file from my hand so aggressively that I got a papercut. She then scolded me for bleeding on the papers. FML
Today, my boss asked me to pick up some supplies for a presentation. I entered the store in the middle of an armed robbery, was knocked to the floor, and had my cash, phone and credit cards stolen. When I told my boss the story, she said, "So were you able to get the binder clips?" FML
Today, I laughed at a coworker for breaking a chair during a meeting. Ten minutes later, I sat in another chair, and it snapped under me. My coworker just whispered, "Karma, bitch." FML
Today, at work, I had a customer accuse me of taking the giftcard I had issued her for her return, after spending 15 minutes trying to fix her screwed up transaction. She began to yell, and follow me around the store. Security had to intervene and I had to be locked in an office until she left. FML
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Top comments
WOLiF_922 0
What a dick.
aero_fml 0
Owned! But if I were her I'd do it again. Just to mess with you.
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Comments (95)
athos1237 4
WOW! Why would you post this? Just makes you look like an ass, not a FML. YDI for trying to feel superior.
YummyumCum 0
omg was that really you who took her pencil? lol nice work gurl!
_electricbonbon 0
YDI for being such a bitch that your only friend is a pencil.
LeashYouUp 0
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ptrox123 2
FAIL you TOTALLY deserved that for being acting bitchy in the first place... I mean who yells at someone for stealling a god damn pencil? especially infront of other people. I hope that no one forgets that at your work and your labled a dumbass as long as you continue to work there.
jayfay 0
why would you publicize your stupdity like this? you just look like an ass now. no need to overreact about a friggin pencil.
hbgoddard 0
What are you, 8? Ask to borrow a pencil from a friend, then get some more during you lunch break or after work! This is going to be my motto from now on - Think before you do shit!
gothman92 0
ydi for not changing your tampon
wavydavygracy 0
Today, I was a dumbass. Nice one OP. Nice one. Bloody kiwi's.. :p - I also work in Wellington and can't help but wonder if you work in my office..
varkey 7
YDI for being a complete bitch. I hope you get fired by whoever is higher-up than you. If there is nobody above you, I hope your company goes out of business and you are forced to pay the employees compensation from your personal budget.