Today, at work I noticed that the last of my pencils had been taken from my desk. I assumed it was the coworker who I've talked to at least ten times regarding taking my stationery. I approached her and, feeling brave, yelled at her in front of the entire office. I was holding the pencil. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was bored at my office, so I started flicking my pencils at my door. My boss walked in right then to give me a raise for my "outstanding" work. She scared me so much when she walked in that I flicked a pencil right at her face. FML
Today, a "friend" of mine decided stealing my very low amount of sticky notes repetitively to make origami and show off was okay, even though I had repeatedly asked her to stop. Then, when I snapped, I was the bad guy, and everyone who was around started stealing my pencil case to get them. FML
Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML
Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's office while she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulled the pen out during a meeting. My colleague looked at me, horrified. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazoned on it. I'm a man. FML
Today, at work, somebody stole my sunglasses. Fed up with the constant theft in my office, I stormed up to my boss, as he had long ago promised to catch the thief. He listened patiently to my rant before pointing out that my sunglasses were on my head. FML
Today, there was a meeting at work, during which I had to give a presentation to my boss and other attendants. The first subject I had to tackle was how my 5 year-old son got to my briefcase and replaced its contents with some crayons and a fluffy teddy bear. FML
Today, my psycho boss snatched a file from my hand so aggressively that I got a papercut. She then scolded me for bleeding on the papers. FML
Today, my boss asked me to pick up some supplies for a presentation. I entered the store in the middle of an armed robbery, was knocked to the floor, and had my cash, phone and credit cards stolen. When I told my boss the story, she said, "So were you able to get the binder clips?" FML
Today, I laughed at a coworker for breaking a chair during a meeting. Ten minutes later, I sat in another chair, and it snapped under me. My coworker just whispered, "Karma, bitch." FML
Today, at work, I had a customer accuse me of taking the giftcard I had issued her for her return, after spending 15 minutes trying to fix her screwed up transaction. She began to yell, and follow me around the store. Security had to intervene and I had to be locked in an office until she left. FML
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Top comments
WOLiF_922 0
What a dick.
aero_fml 0
Owned! But if I were her I'd do it again. Just to mess with you.
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Comments (95)
Theguybehindyou 0
no ofense but that was sooo ****** stupid of you!! how did you not notice that!!
flyingpan8 0
did you really not think tha anybody who read your stupid story would say YDI....?man, not only do you deserve it...but you should get ear ****** by your own pencil and ron jeremy's dick for being such a lame asshole. "once you go black, you go dead" -family guy
toosoonbreh 0
Today, I got embarassed, FML.
foolsangel 4
I agree with everyone else: you're a douchebag for trying to humiliate a coworker over a stupid pencil. YDI.
catriona_cd 0
they get like that for letting the men **** sheep :P BAA baaaaaaaaaaaaa !!! hahahaha
Hazy_fml 0
Pop-Quiz: What happens when we assume...? Exactly. Jackass.
jonny2x4 0
LOL YDI. A dumb broad says what?
toosoonbreh 0
Assume, creates an 'ass' between 'u' and 'me'.
slem_fml 0
It doesn't have to do with level of education it has to do with short term memory, Or you can just be thinking of something else, People on here are worse then you-tubers.
Shyman4ever 0
Major uber epic phail