Miscellaneous: AAARGH

AAARGH

By lanu - 13/03/2012 16:13 - United States

Today, I woke up sweating and gasping for air after having a terrible nightmare. The nightmare involved my deceased mother-in-law bitching me out for being a bad influence on her daughter and threatening to cut my nuts off. Even in death, she won't leave me be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 182

You deserved it 2 584

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Same thing different taste

By slightlyworried - 05/04/2013 05:28 - United States - Parker

Today, I woke up from a nightmare that I've been having for a couple of weeks. In the nightmare I'm shot four times in the back by none other than my mother. I'm getting worried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 129

You deserved it 3 333

Nightmare mother

By scared shirtless - 18/03/2021 20:01

Today, for the fifth time in a row, I woke up screaming from a nightmare. My mother burst into my room, leaned in real close and said, "So help me God, if you do not stop fucking screaming, I will rip your arms off and beat you with them." I’m never sleeping again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 133

You deserved it 221

Sweets dreams are made of these

By jj. - 06/06/2021 00:01

Today, I had yet another dream in which my mother and I had a sweet conversation, followed by her hugging me, and telling me she loves me. Then I woke up and remembered that my once-loving mother hasn’t spoken to me in five years, and her last words to me were, "I hope you die in a fire." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 426

You deserved it 97

Mommy dearest

By Ohkourt - 20/04/2020 05:00

Today, I woke up only to find my half-naked drunk mother in my living room, talking in her sleep about how much she hates me. She still doesn't see what's wrong with this picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 652

You deserved it 110

By loveurlifejk - 28/12/2011 06:32 - United States

Today, I was woken up to my mother screaming obscenities at me, all because I threw up last night after days of not feeling well, and the flushing of the toilet afterwards woke her up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 606

You deserved it 2 127

By wtf - 03/05/2014 16:50 - Germany - Ramstein

Today, I had a nightmare and woke up in a cold sweat. My girlfriend was in bed with me at the time, and swears I yelled out another girl's name. She considers this proof that I'm cheating on her, and now she won't even speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 050

You deserved it 5 278

All you need is hate

By Anonymous - 10/08/2013 21:30 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, my mother-in-law yelled from across the house for me to come quickly. She sounded frantic, so I rushed and asked what was wrong. She said, "Nothing." and that she just wanted to remind me that she hates my guts. She'll be living here with me and my wife for the next two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 646

You deserved it 3 820

By Anonymous - 14/01/2012 18:26 - United States

Today, my future mother-in-law started shit-talking me on Facebook, and we got into a heated argument. She called me later in the day, saying I'll be lucky if I ever marry her son and that, "You'll suffer to your last breath." I'm now terrified to set foot outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 216

You deserved it 6 032

By Grubendol - 15/12/2011 17:30 - United States

Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, and my jaw still hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 616

You deserved it 6 007

Spirits, awake!

By liza - 29/03/2021 16:59

Today, since my alarm didn’t go off at 7 a.m., I awoke to my mother attempting to perform Necromancy on me “as a joke.” She wore a black robe and everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 210

Razzle_Dazzle_5 11

Tuesday 13 March 2012 19:10

I think you need Sam and Dean Winchester to get rid of this spirit.

lrgenesis 19

Tuesday 13 March 2012 19:09

Thats nuts! Haha mother in law IS an anagram of "woman hitler" for a reason. You might want to talk to someone about that. FYL, I'm sorry OP :(

Comments

bigbadtim 7

Tuesday 13 March 2012 20:30

It is just the guilt that you are feeling for killing her and stuffing her dismembered body beneath the floor boards.

s0m3guy2010 21

Tuesday 13 March 2012 20:49

Call Bill Murray. He's an expert at getting rid of deceased mother-in-laws.

Epsilonyx 15

Tuesday 13 March 2012 20:51

There are 666 "I agree, your life sucks" as I type this. Proof that in-laws are the spawn of Satan.

dbugboy 8

Tuesday 13 March 2012 21:07

first, make sure your balls are ok. second, throw out all the pot

br0ccoli 14

Tuesday 13 March 2012 21:18

I aspire to one day have this kind of influence on people. Lol.

thiscrazything 1

Wednesday 14 March 2012 3:02

All you have to do is die. Then u can haunt their dreams.

br0ccoli 14

Wednesday 14 March 2012 3:07

I want to do this living. How kick ass would that be? "you stole my parking lot ******...I'll get you back... Later tonight."

stepymac 15

Tuesday 13 March 2012 21:22

It's a sign from the grave

Volleytwo 0

Tuesday 13 March 2012 21:27

Lol

KiddNYC1O 20

Tuesday 13 March 2012 21:38

If someone pulls your feet while you're sleeping you know who it is.

TheDri11 0

Tuesday 13 March 2012 21:39

I ******* hate my stepmom... She's like the wicked witch of the west x10... Lolz

motox34 0

Tuesday 13 March 2012 21:49

Damn she really hates tht kid

desireev 17

Tuesday 13 March 2012 22:18

She may hate him, but he's not a 'kid'. It says 'deceased mother-in-law'. Which means that he is married to her daughter. 'Kids' can't get married.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I lost it on my co-workers about how hard I've been working, picking up everyone's slack with no appreciation, and it was clear that I needed to find a job that actually rewarded hard work. As I went to grab my jacket to leave, I saw a cake and gift card for a cruise on the table, from the staff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 136

You deserved it 72 917

Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 1 709

The Top

Today, I snooped around my parents' room looking for hidden Christmas presents. The only hidden things I found was a whip, two ball gags, several other sex toys, and a load of newspaper clippings about the JFK assassination. What the fuck? FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 479

You deserved it 38 511

Today, I met my new class. There are two Kevin Smiths. Neither will agree to a nickname, they have the same hair color, and their middle names both start with J. They have told me to call them Kevin 1 and Kevin 2. They both want to be Kevin 1. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 666

You deserved it 3 445

Today, I was going to take my father to dinner for Father's Day. It all would have gone according to plan, but he saw my Facebook post about a 12-hour stomach virus I had yesterday, so he went out fishing with his friends instead without telling me because he didn't want to catch my "disease." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 086

You deserved it 1 834

Today, my old high school mates organised a dinner hangout so that my recent ex, who is part of our group, could introducing her new boyfriend to us. I was late and the only remaining seat available was next to the new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 846

You deserved it 273

Today, my application to join the navy was rejected due to having cancer in the past. It would seem my sister applied, we see the same doctor, and the office assistant pulled the wrong chart to submit the past medical history on because she forgot her ABCs. I was rejected before I ever applied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 318

You deserved it 225

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that the size of a man's penis is not proportional to his height. He was insecure because he's 5'6" and assumed everyone taller had a bigger penis than him. He's 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 156

You deserved it 686