Today, I cycled to the office in my new uniform pants. When I arrived an hour later, my sweat had already soaked through them. FML
Today, I spent 5 hours working on emails for work in a desperate attempt to get back on top of my task list. Having written about 45 emails waiting in my outbox to go out first thing Monday morning, Outlook has "stopped responding". I might've just lost them all and worked through the day for nothing. FML
Today, I got an email from our district manager, telling me I cannot use my vacation days as sick time. I've run out of sick days and I have a severe injury that I've taken medical leave for. When it flares up, it feels like I’m being stabbed. He knows this, but doesn’t acknowledge it. FML
Today, I thought I would take my family to the beach for the day. My wife is sitting on the front porch, not talking to me, because after working a 60-hour week, I would rather enjoy my family and the fruits of my labor, rather than help her clean the house that she has spent all week at, doing nothing. FML
Today, my youth pastor died and I was crying. My boss told me to dry my tears, because it was affecting my coworkers. Sorry I'm human and cry when someone I know dies. FML
Today, my mother broke into my emails and rejected the best job offer I’ve ever had, all because the job is on the other side of the country, and she’s a selfish bitch who doesn't want to be left completely alone, since she has no friends and our relatives don’t speak to her anymore. FML
Today, my husband decided he was finally going to quit his job. We literally bought a house last week. His job is/was easy, with pay way above his qualifications. After we'd talked about it FOR THE 50TH TIME, he did the opposite and texted the dept. head that he hates the company and wants to be part time at most. FML
Today, I was feeling sad and depressed at work, when a customer said, “Smile. It’s nice and sunny outside.” Sunny weather makes me depressed. FML
Today, my wife was lucky not to get fired from her part-time job for doing nothing since we went into lockdown 8 weeks ago. To celebrate this, she has downed two bottles of red wine and watched an entire season of Virgin River. Guess I’ll have to find a third job to make up the income when the inevitable happens. FML
Today, my 17-year-old, clinically depressed son was having terrible anxiety about the first day of school tomorrow. I tried to be a good parent, so I took the day off to console him. That proved to be a bad idea, because apparently, putting your son's mental health first is a valid reason for your boss to fire you. FML
Today, I was accidentally rude to a customer and she told me to kill myself. My boss came over, told me that she agreed wholeheartedly with the customer, and then said, "I have no idea where you got this delusion that anyone would be sad if you died." FML
Today, a customer came in without a mask, and called us "liberal sheep" for wearing one. She then coughed on me when I kindly asked her to leave. She told me, "Oh well, if you didn’t wanna get coughed on, you should have stayed home with your silly sheep mask." FML
Today, as always, I had to change clothes and reapply my deodorant as soon as I got to work. It’s only a kilometre walk. FML
Today, my boss called me while I was working from home to bitch me out over being away from my computer for 49 minutes, when my lunch break is only 45 minutes, thus wasting another 13 minutes. My boss is known for spending hours online gaming from home during work hours. FML
Today, my boyfriend, who is also my coworker, broke up with me. I agreed to stay professional and civil with him during our work hours. However, he decided to report me for "sexual harassment" and "stalking." He showed them the "evidence." I was fired. FML
Today, I had a whole month off before I started my new job. On day six, I had to go to the ER because of a kidney stone and had to get a ureteral stent. In two weeks they will remove the stone, then another week until they remove the stent. I will be recovered just in time for my first day of work. FML
Today, my boss wrote me up for appearing "depressing" to customers. I told her that I was upset because my dog had to be put down yesterday. She told me, "Aw that’s sad. But guess what? That dog ain’t gonna pay your bills and put bread on your table. So cut the emo crap or you’re fired." FML
Today, I failed school and ghosted all my teachers. Nobody knows, but I'm planning on telling my parents in a week. I'm fucked. FML
Today, I asked someone to work with me because I felt sorry for her. Turns out, she isn't at all helpful and refuses to work after school, just because she would miss her "beauty nap". She also made up dumb excuses for why she couldn't help me or the others. I wonder why no one wanted to be in a group with her… FML
Today, my wife quit her job, not wanting to go back to in person at her office, to be a stay-at-home mom. Tomorrow, for my birthday, I was going to tell her that I'm not in love with her, have found an apartment, and signed a 2-year lease. I can't afford the apartment, mortgage, and the kids' tuition. FML
Today, I failed an assignment because the person I paid to do it plagiarized the entire thing. FML
Today, I have a permanent illness. Whenever I'm too unwell to manage the housework or children, my hubby does even less than usual. As soon as I'm well enough, I have a mountain of work to do, which makes me sick again. FML
Today, an older customer ran up to me and did a open-mouthed, panting growl in my face, with her face 2 inches from my mine. She then laughed and said, “I only do this to men” and then left the store without buying anything. My mask was down and she didn’t have one at all. FML
Today, one of my colleagues was asked to rewrite an entire project, which I wrote last week. I'd spent more than 4 days writing it. FML
Today, I had to admit to an attractive coworker that it wasn't a hickey on my neck, but a mosquito bite instead. I then realized how alone I am. FML
Today, it's the second day my wife hasn’t been to work at all, because a cashier called her ma’am instead of miss. Apparently, it’s the first time this has happened and she’s so upset that she might be visibly growing old that she’s been in bed for two days crying. We’re both only 27 years-old, FFS. FML
Today, I got ready for work in the dark, and it was noon before someone told me that I had one of my wife's pantyliners stuck to the back of my pants. I'd just given a presentation to 80 people. FML
Today, even though we were together every day of quarantine, now that I’m working my boyfriend has become a completely different person. He’s now jealous, insecure and makes wild accusations. He’s called and showed up to my new job so many times the managers are threatening to let me go. FML
Today, my boss slapped me on the ass and said, "Good work, princess." FML
Today, it's Monday. I'm living in hangover hell. Work is hell. Moving my head is hell. Did I party all weekend? Yes. Except that it was just me and my cat. Nothing was consumed other than several bottles of wine and tubs of Ben & Jerry's. FML
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