Neighbours

Don't mind me

By Anonymous - 16/04/2012 12:38 - United States - West Palm Beach

Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML

agreeclassic 30 029

vote type 1 3 399

By Vampprobs - 25/03/2014 01:52 - United States - Skandia

Today, my neighbor called the police for the seventh time because he's convinced I'm a vampire. He's also gotten in the habit of leaving garlic cloves in my yard. My parents come next week. FML

agreeclassic 42 169

vote type 1 3 230

Scurry away

By Philomena87 - 19/08/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I went to do laundry in my apartment building. I thought no one was around, so I walked down in my pajamas (a giant t-shirt with holes and socks with sandals). Of course, I ran into the neighbor I’ve had a crush on for months. He was shirtless, holding a laundry basket like an ad for cologne. He smiled and said, “Nice, erm, outfit?” I’ve never sprinted back upstairs faster. FML

agreeclassic 165

vote type 1 452

Everybody needs good neighbours

By Anonymous - 11/07/2020 17:02

Today, I live on the second floor and my neighbor from below banged on my door, telling me I sounded like a giant elephant and needed to learn to be quiet. I was eating ice cream in bed. I also live alone. FML

agreeclassic 1 551

vote type 1 173

Boom boom

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, the family upstairs decided to play basketball. Indoors. At 3am. FML

agreeclassic 45 335

vote type 1 3 187

Snowflake

By Anonymous - 02/10/2023 00:02

Today, my neighbour reported me for touching his wife’s vagina while she was asleep. She wasn’t asleep, she'd passed out giving birth and I had to help get the baby out because the ambulance was late, and her husband was busy vomiting from how slimy and smelly it was. FML

agreeclassic 825

vote type 1 109

Can't wait for the next time

By cowboy_gold - 25/01/2020 05:00

Today, I came back to my dorm only to hear my neighbor having loud sex. I thought I was just thinking when I said, "At least do it against the other wall," but when I was left later on, he walked by, apologized and said that he thought I wasn't home, and promised to be more quiet next time. FML

agreeclassic 2 141

vote type 1 571

Gentrification strikes!

By Anonymous - 05/03/2020 06:01

Today, I actually can't choose what's worse, hearing my direct neighbour having really loud sex on a regular basis, including furniture breaking, or hearing people cheering and playing the piano in the same room. Upper-class fantasy? FML

agreeclassic 1 440

vote type 1 248

What are you doing?

By Anonymous - 31/08/2024 22:00 - United States - New York

Today, at a work gathering, I started chatting with a guy who looked familiar. It took 5 minutes to realize he was a guy from my apartment complex. For the last year I've been pretending to be an accountant named Claire whenever we met in the elevator because I thought it was funny. My real name isn’t Claire and I’m definitely not an accountant. FML

agreeclassic 60

vote type 1 742

The biohazard next door

By seriously - 25/10/2024 09:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, no matter how many times I've asked, my dumbass neighbor can't get into the habit of regularly picking up after her six dogs. Her backyard is covered in shit with probably just inches between each pile or log. This means the wind blows the smell of shit in the direction of my house. I can't open a window. FML

agreeclassic 470

vote type 1 78

Paper-thin walls

By Lauren Davies - this FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I had to tell my 4 year-old, "I'm wiping my butt right now, I can't get you a drink. Please wait a minute." I distinctly heard my neighbor laughing through the bathroom window. FML

agreeclassic 1 864

vote type 1 437

Dangling

By Jeff comes unstuck - 31/08/2023 14:00 - Australia

Today, I was cleaning my car when I hit the automatic window button while I was vacuuming in between the door and the driver's seat, and got stuck halfway out, in full view of my neighbor. He had to come get me out, because I couldn't reach the button. FML

agreeclassic 495

vote type 1 238

Stranger danger

By Dani - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I happened to make eye contact with a stranger standing on a balcony of the apartment building across the train tracks from mine. He ran his finger across his neck like a knife and winked at me. I'm afraid to go out again. FML

agreeclassic 33 337

vote type 1 2 690

Hassle free

By Lana - 26/04/2022 22:00

Today, every time I think of having any children, I remember that an idiotic neighbor let her kids paint all over my car with permanent marker, so I eventually forget about it. FML

agreeclassic 834

vote type 1 139

Great timing

By Earl_KarmasBitch - 08/12/2022 11:00 - Iceland

Today, having made absolutely sure I wouldn't have work until 4 p.m., I slept peacefully to recover from staying up till 5 a.m. to watch my country in the World Cup. Until at 8 a.m., someone on the floor above started drilling. No one has done any drilling day or night in the last six months. FML

agreeclassic 765

vote type 1 172

By Anonymous - 12/08/2019 04:01

Today, in my tidy, small-town neighborhood, I parked my car 50 metres further back from my usual spot just across from our house on a half-empty public street, because it was taken. Apparently, someone didn't appreciate this. So much so, they put a used condom under my windshield wiper. FML

agreeclassic 1 527

vote type 1 137

Trash talking little dude

By Proud momma - 03/11/2024 20:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my toddler learned the phrase “Shut up.” He now loudly says it to anyone who speaks to him, including our elderly neighbor, whose only crime was complimenting him on his shoes. FML

agreeclassic 343

vote type 1 199

Maoism intensifies

By Anonymous - 30/03/2020 02:00

Today, like every evening, our place is literally shaking with banging noises from the apartment below. Are they raising ponies down there? Wrecking the furniture? Taking out some walls? No, it's just my landlord's six-year-old. Playing. FML

agreeclassic 1 563

vote type 1 156

Explain it like I'm 5

By Yudith - 09/09/2023 04:00 - Canada - London

Today, the janitor and I both had to tell a tenant that his upstairs neighbor cannot push gas into his air vent to constipate him, as that's not how gas, the human body, or our ventilation system, work. We told him repeatedly that he needed to see a doctor. About his constipation. He still wasn't sure. FML

agreeclassic 687

vote type 1 100

STOP!

By Anonymous - 28/09/2021 20:00

Today, for the second week in a row, I woke up to the sound of my awful upstairs neighbors having sex between the hours of 1 and 3 AM. Their bed is so noisy, and earplugs barely help. At this point, based on the rhythm of their bed squeaking, I can tell when they're about to finish, and I hate it. FML

agreeclassic 1 723

vote type 1 176

Xtina

By I must suck at singing - 18/02/2014 00:14 - United States

Today, my neighbor had a word with me for being "loud in the bedroom" last night. I haven't had any action for two years now, but I was too happy that she thought I'd got lucky to tell her the truth. So what was I really doing last night? Trying to sing like Christina Aguilera. FML

agreeclassic 40 498

vote type 1 7 108

Podcasters need to be stopped

By Anonymous - 03/11/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I was listening to a true-crime podcast while taking a shower. Right as the narrator said, “And then he heard a loud bang,” my shampoo bottle fell off the ledge with a loud thud. I screamed so loudly, I apparently scared my neighbours, who banged on the wall. FML

agreeclassic 184

vote type 1 341

Googoo gaga

By Daisie - 24/01/2025 00:00 - United States - Santa Fe

Today, I spent way too long baby-talking my neighbor’s dog through the fence, calling him "the cutest, sweetest baby." It turned out that my neighbor was sitting on the other side of the fence the entire time, out of view, quietly giggling at me. FML

agreeclassic 187

vote type 1 414

Arnold Layne

By Anonymous - 28/04/2025 12:00 - United States - Portland

Today, my cat brought me a “gift” by dragging in a sock from my neighbor’s porch. It was a child's sock. I took it back to them, but I'm pretty sure the neighbor now thinks I steal clothes. FML

agreeclassic 320

vote type 1 106

Golden rain

By Username - this FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff - Korea, Republic of

Today, I was sitting on the porch of my apartment when my drunk upstairs neighbour decided to take a piss. I got my first golden shower. FML

agreeclassic 2 451

vote type 1 206

Voice of a generation

By Stevie - 29/09/2024 06:00 - Portugal - Lisbon

Today, I was belting out Beyoncé in the shower, really feeling myself. When I got out, I heard applause. My new neighbors were sitting on their balcony and I had my bedroom window open. They'd been unwilling members of my entire shower performance's audience, and the applause was definitely sarcastic. FML

agreeclassic 159

vote type 1 415

Just what I needed to hear…

By RedGinger - 29/07/2022 18:00

Today, my cat woke me up an hour early so I could listen to my neighbors having sex at 6 a.m. My husband died 6 months ago, and was very sick for the previous 4 months. FML

agreeclassic 1 155

vote type 1 175

Alas, poor Salem

By Stalked - 15/11/2011 00:46 - United States

Today, a policeman and I confronted my psychotic neighbor, who stole my cat because she thinks flea bites cause cancer. She refused to tell us what she'd done with the cat. I just spent $100 last month in vet bills, and my kids are crying for their pet. He's probably in pieces in her freezer. FML

agreeclassic 44 742

vote type 1 2 775

Small world after all

By Anonymous - 15/09/2025 20:00

Today, I am now living a nightmare. The house on my left side was just bought by my cheating ex from years ago who I never wanted to see again, and the house on my right side has just had an offer put on it by my boss, whom I despise for being a lazy, entitled rich mama's boy. FML

agreeclassic 464

vote type 1 97

Give it back

By psycho - 16/02/2022 19:00 - United States - Hesperia

Today, I was on my patio trying to take photos of the amazing sunset. My phone slipped out of my hands and landed on my downstairs neighbor’s patio. When I asked for it back, they slammed the door in my face. I tried to climb over and get it myself. They called the cops on me. FML

agreeclassic 1 111

vote type 1 189

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, my mom made me teach my delusional gran web browsing. I barely made it to YouTube before she sneered at me, and told me to "stop pissing about before I smash your face in." Two hours and multiple slaps later, she still doesn't get what a URL is, and I fear for my life. FML

agreeclassic 29 279

vote type 1 3 054

Today, my horror movie-obsessed girlfriend hit a new level of crazy when she asked me to dress up as Ghostface during sex. FML

agreeclassic 981

vote type 1 265

Today, my mom had a breakdown. I found her on the kitchen floor, sober, but naked from the waist down, all her hair cut off with a knife, and eating her way through all our tins of cat food. I wish I could say this was her first time but it’s not, it’s her fourth. I don’t know what to do anymore. FML

agreeclassic 1 441

vote type 1 143

Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML

agreeclassic 12 447

vote type 1 79 670

Today, I was in bar and got talking to a guy next to me, who turned out to be American, which is quite exotic in my part of the UK. During the conversation, he mentioned being a vet, so I went on a long tangent about my cat's diarrhoea and asked him for advice. He let me babble on for ages before smiling and saying, "Not that kind of vet." FML

agreeclassic 230

vote type 1 515

Today, I spent a quarter of an hour trying to figure out why my car wouldn't unlock, then why my number plate had changed. FML

agreeclassic 21 132

vote type 1 26 025