Neighbours

No more yodelling

By Anonymous - 05/03/2023 00:00

Today, I was singing in the shower and my neighbor called the police because they thought I was in trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 091

You deserved it 238

No thanks

By Kara - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my downstairs neighbor had a home birth. Not only did I hear eighteen hours of uninterrupted screaming, they called me afterwards to ask if I could come over to help them clean up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 056

You deserved it 2 870

Leave me alone!

By Anonymous - 24/02/2023 05:30 - Canada

Today, I still can't open my curtains or door without ADHD teenage neighbour screaming my name and waving from my across the road. I moved from a city to this place so I could have a big garden to help my extreme social anxiety. When I go outside, she comes running over. Sometimes she brings her dog, who shits on my lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 918

You deserved it 172

Love thy neighbour

By Anonymous - 07/02/2023 10:00

Today, I found out that I have moved next door to a guy from my school, with whom I've had a arguments with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 598

You deserved it 172

Karen has concerns

By go away karen! - 29/01/2023 05:00 - United States

Today, I had to call the cops on my batshit crazy neighbor, who’s repeatedly threatened to steal my dog. I finally got her ass on camera. She swears that my dog is being abused because it prefers to sleep outside instead of being in the house. Imagine that, an animal that likes being outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 144

Pull the plug

By Loud - 11/01/2023 17:00 - United States

Today, I tried to turn my TV up. Unfortunately, the volume button got stuck, so it ended up turning all the way up to the max while I was listening to an already very loud song. If my neighbors didn't know I listen to a lot of blues rock, they do now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 254

I'm innocent!

By ostfae - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was told by this big guy from school that I needed to stop stalking his girlfriend, and stop following her home from school. She's my neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 225

You deserved it 2 336

Great timing

By Earl_KarmasBitch - 08/12/2022 11:00 - Iceland

Today, having made absolutely sure I wouldn't have work until 4 p.m., I slept peacefully to recover from staying up till 5 a.m. to watch my country in the World Cup. Until at 8 a.m., someone on the floor above started drilling. No one has done any drilling day or night in the last six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 762

You deserved it 171

Helter Skelter

By NeighboRingo - 05/12/2022 19:00 - United States

Today, I found out my upstairs neighbor is a drummer. He's actually quite good, so I didn't have the heart to report a noise complaint. That is, until he screamed Ringo Starr's infamous line, "I got blisters on my fingers!" at the top of his lungs after playing them too long. I would have laughed if it wasn't 2AM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 902

You deserved it 120

My eyes!

By Anonymous - 30/11/2022 18:00

Today, I saw my neighbors having sex. They’re not great looking and bang like pornstars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 851

Karen moment

By dumbwifehappylife - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Woodbine

Today, my wife tried to report our neighbor's yard sale to the Better Business Bureau. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 742

You deserved it 5 069

Love is loud

By Spill the beans - 13/11/2022 04:00

Today, it’s been at least the 20th time I’ve heard the “porn stars” (meaning the couple who moved upstairs) going at it like rabbits. I've tried covering my ears, and it doesn’t work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001

You deserved it 222

KEEP OUT

By Awkward - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Redmond

Today, my neighbor put up an electric fence to keep my five-year-old son out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 433

You deserved it 15 494

The opposite of a party

By Hooperist - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Murrieta

Today, while sick with the flu, I had the police called on me by my older neighbors downstairs. They thought I was hosting a party at 3 in the morning. I was really just throwing up constantly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 778

You deserved it 1 935

Alexa, play "Make It Stop" by Low

By Sonotsuave - 22/10/2022 12:00 - United States - Mclean

Today, like every day since the new neighbors moved into the townhouse next door, their newborn won’t stop crying. The room the two toddlers and newborn are in apparently shares a wall with my bedroom, so I hear crying while I work remote, study remote, and try to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 018

You deserved it 141

Welcome…

By Brenden - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Massillon

Today, my new neighbor moved in. Because she was fairly young, I offered to mow her grass whenever it needed cut. Her dad then tried to start a fight with me because he thought it was sexual come-on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 963

You deserved it 7 313

Cat people

By I’ll never see them again - 13/10/2022 08:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my cat tried to escape when I opened my front door. I noticed that whenever I start babbling and making random sounds, he stops dead and just stares at me in confusion, before walking back in. With my luck, however, this time my neighbor heard everything. They walked quickly away, as if they'd seen a ghost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 843

You deserved it 215

The accused

By Anonymous - 16/08/2022 18:00

Today, my neighbour asked me to stop "flaunting my nudity" where her husband can see me. By this she apparently meant my bathroom when I open the window to let the steam out, because her husband can see me shower from their son's treehouse. Somehow, I don’t think me or my window are the problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 761

You deserved it 168

Get off my lawn!

By Anonymous - 11/08/2022 14:00

Today, I found out that when my neighbors throw a party, it includes guests having sex in my garage, and relieving themselves on my lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 258

You deserved it 109

What's your excuse?

By Anonymous - 09/08/2022 06:00

Today, I'm in a legal dispute with my neighbour, but he uses his autism as an excuse for being an asshole. I know people with autism much worse than his who are the nicest people, but this guy uses it like a get-out-of-jail free card, especially in front of police, or whenever we go to court. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 067

You deserved it 129

Welcome to the neighborhood

By Anonymous - 31/07/2022 04:00

Today, I went to tell my neighbour I was sure his son had been taking pictures of me from his window. He laughed in my face, then assured me no one on planet earth could possibly want photos of my fat ass and double chin, then shut the door in my face, still laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 980

You deserved it 312

Just what I needed to hear…

By RedGinger - 29/07/2022 18:00

Today, my cat woke me up an hour early so I could listen to my neighbors having sex at 6 a.m. My husband died 6 months ago, and was very sick for the previous 4 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 154

You deserved it 174

Let em in

By Anonymous - 29/07/2022 10:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, my neighbour called to say a crazy drunk man was breaking into my house. Thankfully, the police were already there, questioning me about “attempted unlawful entry” into my own house. My keys had been taken from a friend so I wouldn’t drive. It's 1°C and I still haven’t gotten inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 821

You deserved it 243

Keep it down

By Rusty - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - New City

Today, I'm actually starting to miss my former heroin addict neighbor because of how mellow he was compared to my new neighbors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 196

You deserved it 2 581

BTS stan

By Meh - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff - United States - Bothell

Today, I found out that my roommate has a good voice, because he loudly sings Korean love songs at one in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 276

You deserved it 258

Everybody needs good neighbours

By Anonymous - 28/06/2022 05:00 - United States

Today, I got t-boned while on my way represent myself in a deposition for a lawsuit I filed against my neighbor. The other driver was my neighbor's husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 987

You deserved it 108

HOA blues

By Anonymous - 22/06/2022 02:00

Today, a neighbor chose today of all days to drop off her junk in front of my condo/apartment. My relative owns and I rent. I got a letter from a different neighbor, stating that if I continue this egregious behavior of using my apartment as a trash dumpster, she will be forced to report me to the HOA. FML

I agree, your life sucks 773

You deserved it 192

Thanks Deborah

By Anonymous - 18/06/2022 04:00 - Canada - Lachine

Today, I left outside a bowl of fine herbs I had painstakingly grown from seeds, so they could get some sun. What did they get instead? My upstairs neighbor's filthy soapy water from washing her balcony. Three quarters of the seedlings are now dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 847

You deserved it 193

Lazy prick

By FMC fuck my credit! - 12/06/2022 10:00

Today, my now ex-boyfriend got us evicted. The lazy prick kept throwing dog poop onto the neighbors' patio instead of disposing it properly. Management told him he could either get rid of the dog or we had to go. My ex refused and slammed the door in his face. The lease is in my name, so my credit is fucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 996

You deserved it 251

Welcome to the neighborhood

By Anonymous - 12/06/2022 00:00

Today, the crazy bitch next door called the cops for me spying on her from my bathroom window. That window was painted shut by the previous owner, and I haven’t unsealed it yet. I had to show this to the cops to prove I have no illegal motive for pissing in my own toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 190

You deserved it 78

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my sister attempted to get me to fund her daughter, my godchild's, birthday party. I told her I would give her 200 (which isn't much). Our mom "intervened" by cussing me out for being a cheap ass piece of shit. I was about to give her $200, which is A LOT in our currency when exchanged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 121

Today, my mom suggested that her brother, my uncle, walk me down the aisle at my upcoming wedding, since my dad passed away last week. My uncle molested me since I was 8 and my mom never believed me, even to this day. She tells me to, “stop being an ungrateful bitch,” since he’s chipping in for the wedding costs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 367

You deserved it 128

Today, I was staying in my family friend's house in France. The church bells ring every hour, which I thought was cute. Until 8 this morning where they rang 24 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 330

You deserved it 4 084

Today, I finished writing my Masters thesis. It's 25,000 words long. I showed it to my tutor, who told me it was completely wrong and that I have to start again from scratch. It's due in two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 906

You deserved it 2 237

...and just like that, the weekend was over.

I agree, your life sucks 309

You deserved it 77

Nice try, guy.

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 103