Karen · 22 December 2023, 12:00 ·Akron, United States

The final boss of annoying customers

Today, while I was helping customers in the self-checkout, one lady wouldn’t stop talking to me. Other customers needed help and I was trying to go help them. When I tried to walk away, she hugged me over my arms, physically restraining me. I froze. I actually have PTSD from being sexually assaulted years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 707 You deserved it 128

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toothache · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

Hold still!

Today, I had my wisdom teeth pulled. There was a cyst behind one of them, and the dentist decided to extract it - except the Novocaine didn't reach that far back. I raised my hand like they said to do, and the dentist looked at me writing in pain and said, "No, you're fine." FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 837 You deserved it 3 387

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Anonymous · 20 December 2023, 00:00 ·United Kingdom

Support system

Today, I tried to tell my dad that I was really struggling with my mental health and didn't think I could stay alive much longer. He laughed. This comes after telling my "best friend" last week and having to wait three days for a reply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 657 You deserved it 178

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Kortnie Peterman · This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff 🌶️ Spicy

Captain Hook

Today, my boyfriend and I found out my Nuva ring comes out quite easily, especially when he manages to hook it around the tip of his dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 584 You deserved it 617

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Happy Birthday to me · 18 December 2023, 20:00 ·United States

Happy birthday!

Today, I'm officially no longer a teenager. I spent my birthday bedridden, because I've been extremely sick since the day before. This exact scenario happened last year too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434 You deserved it 128

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shakinmahbuttbutt · This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff ·United States

Stinky pits

Today, it's been two weeks since my parents went crazy with their attempts to save on the water bill. Every time I want to take a shower, I have to ask them first. Let's just say I've had to resort to taking sponge baths in public bathrooms to keep my B.O. under control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 887 You deserved it 4 575

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Anonymous · 18 December 2023, 12:00 ·Saskatoon, Canada

FML is open 24/7 for you

Today, it’s been about two and a half months since I entered into a severe, borderline suicidal depressive episode. My psychiatrist prescribed a new antidepressant to go with my mood stabilizer, but it will take up to a month to kick in. Looks like it’s gonna be a blue Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511 You deserved it 148

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distraughtoverdelivery · 17 December 2023, 22:00 ·Surrey, Canada

Come back here!

Today, I was expecting to receive a package in the mail as I can only shop online given my current physical condition. A notification informed me the parcel failed to deliver and now it's available for pickup at the warehouse, which is 5 miles away. A long way on crutches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550 You deserved it 142

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BigAssSwagBear · 17 December 2023, 12:00 ·Charlotte, United States

Get well soon

Today, I was told I have a tumor in my brain and require surgery. This all came about due to having a MRI for my migraines and then finding it. The kicker? They're positive the tumor isn’t playing any role in the migraines. I'm now struggling to cope and pass grad school exams with this weight in me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 696 You deserved it 98

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Anonymous · 17 December 2023, 06:00 ·United States

Long ass

Today, I went to the market and I was stuck in a long ass line for 10-15 minutes. To make things worse, in front of me was a guy bending down with his buttcrack all the way out. I couldn't eat anything after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385 You deserved it 223

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Embarrassed · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff ·United States

Such a rush

Today, I was getting a spray tan and realized I didn't have a hair tie, so I used a thong instead. I lost track of time and realized I needed to go pick up my daughter. I threw on my clothes, drove to pick her up, went to the store, and went for ice cream... thong still in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 362 You deserved it 47 652

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You asked… · 16 December 2023, 15:00 ·Granby, United States

Policy of truth

Today, my friend asked me to tell her the truth why she’s single and friendless except for me. I answered honestly and told her it’s because she’s so negative it drives people away, and it doesn’t help that she’s got bad BO and is morbidly obese. Now she won’t talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 674 You deserved it 226

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needtoscratch · This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff ·Duluth, United States

Deez nuts

Today, my dormant eczema decided to come back with a vengeance - on my scrotum. I work in an open office and can't scratch unless I repeatedly run into the restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 402 You deserved it 1 846

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Chanelle · 14 December 2023, 20:00 ·United States

Life's what you make it

Today, I realized that I’m undateable because of my weight. I’m 33. My entire life, I’ve always been dated in secret, guys went out with me to make fun of me behind my back, always got cheated on, always get friendzoned, etc. It’s not fair that I have to change my body type to get my chance at happily ever after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467 You deserved it 905

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Anonymous · 14 December 2023, 12:00 ·Buenos Aires, Argentina

Liquid fun

Today, I'm feeling so lonely and miserable that I started adding a few drops of whiskey to my coffee, just to make all those shitty thoughts disappear for a moment. I know that it won't really help and I need therapy, but I can't afford it right now. On the other hand, it seems that I don't really care anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568 You deserved it 185

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FlyLikeABird · This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff ·San Francisco, United States

Watch out!

Today, I learned how birds feel when they fly into windows. I should be getting the hospital bill for my broken nose in the mail soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 924 You deserved it 4 461

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sdfg · 12 December 2023, 12:00 ·United States

Turn that frown upside down

Today, I was written up at work for not smiling. It’s winter, therefore smiling will cause my lips to crack and bleed. I drink 8 glasses of water a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 525 You deserved it 166

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Anonymous · 12 December 2023, 09:00 ·United Kingdom

Welcome!

Today, I moved into my first house and realised pretty quick that my estate agent lied to me about how great this neighbourhood was. I was in the house for 30 minutes when I heard the neighbours having a screaming domestic in their garden, then a brick flew over the fence and broke my eye socket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 740 You deserved it 136

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff ·United States

Broke boy

Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 474 You deserved it 3 882

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Anonymous · 11 December 2023, 12:00 ·United States

First class slob

Today, I overheard my husband admitting that he doesn’t wash his hands after having diarrhea. I had no prior knowledge of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 670 You deserved it 108

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Night time entertainment

Today, I woke up next to my roommate staring in horror. She said I was singing and farting in my sleep. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 314 You deserved it 440

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indierocklove · This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff ·United States

Inspiring

Today, I finally started doing cardio and getting in shape. What motivated me to do it? Watching a zombie movie. The slow ones bite the dust first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 761 You deserved it 8 962

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Anonymous · 10 December 2023, 18:00 ·United Kingdom

Lesson learned

Today, whilst showing my kids how to replace a light bulb safely, I gave myself and electric shock, and dropped the bulb. Twice in a row. In hindsight I should have let my husband do all the DIY-based educating, since I now have a glass shard in my big toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139 You deserved it 635

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Anonymous · 10 December 2023, 09:00 ·Birmingham, United States

Cool new look

Today, I decided to try a new hair removal cream. Turns out, I'm allergic to it. My face now looks like a tomato with eyebrows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448 You deserved it 151

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Frankie says relax · 10 December 2023, 06:00 ·United States

Fitness is overrated

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. As I was on the treadmill, I accidentally hit the emergency stop button. In my attempt to play it cool, I tried to pretend it was intentional and yelled, "I've reached my fitness goal for the day!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 You deserved it 725

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itsjustnotfair · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

Healthcare scandal

Today, my dentist asked me about my fillings, so I told him that when I was younger, I had two cavities. He replied, "No you didn't. I just looked at your x-rays." Turns out my old dentist ripped me off. I never needed fillings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 000 You deserved it 2 644

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Anonymous · 9 December 2023, 00:00 ·United Kingdom

Overzealous milkers

Today, most of my immediate family do nothing but criticise me for not breastfeeding. My mom even threatened to call CPS for child abuse, no matter how many times I explain I physically don’t produce milk, and formula feeding is literally my only option. FML

I agree, your life sucks 830 You deserved it 144

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So much for a friendship · 8 December 2023, 12:00 ·Israel 🌶️ Spicy

Date night

Today, I'm in hospital after a bad accident. An old friend of mine came to my ward, looked around, and asked if I needed any help. I asked him to stay and talk a bit, because we haven't seen each other since his wedding. He said, "Nah bro, I gotta go, or my wife will kill me. We're planning a sex night, by the way", and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447 You deserved it 198

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Anonymous · 8 December 2023, 06:00 ·Neptune City, United States

Healing

Today, after dealing with a monstrously painful canker sore for the last two weeks, it finally healed up. I was so relieved that I went out to lunch… and immediately stabbed myself in the gums with a tortilla chip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 464 You deserved it 171

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff ·United States

Mucus factory

Today, I have a cold and need to blow my nose all the time. The problem is that every time I blow my nose, I get a nosebleed. When I breathe through my mouth, I have a coughing fit. So I have to choose between not breathing, coughing up mucus, or blowing blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 875 You deserved it 3 153

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