When dinner is late By Lewis - 27/01/2019 00:30 FEED ME NOW! I agree, your life sucks 356 You deserved it 119 Share Tweet Share
Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML I agree, your life sucks 25 679 You deserved it 47 240
Today, after I returned from business dinner at a hibachi restaurant, my wife decided she wanted sex for the first time in years on a weekday. We did it and I pooped a little on “our” stupid white comforter. FML I agree, your life sucks 473 You deserved it 381
Today, I used a public bathroom and set my motorcycle helmet on the sink while I used the urinal. The helmet rolled into the sink, under the faucet and set off the motion detector, soaking the inside. I drove 15 miles home in 30 degree weather with a wet helmet. FML I agree, your life sucks 26 300 You deserved it 9 232
Today, my mom went to my dad's funeral as the Grim Reaper. Apparently, because they were both massive Terry Pratchett fans, they'd agreed whoever outlived the other had to go to the funeral as Death. No one else found it funny and more than a few swore to never speak to her again. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 406 You deserved it 205
Today, as I was waiting in line to give my mom her birthday present, my dad gave her the exact same gift I'd also bought for her. FML I agree, your life sucks 41 324 You deserved it 4 802
Today, I'm extremely depressed because I can't play live music due to this stupid virus. I can't get a date or even a hug, and the career I worked for seven years toward was totally destroyed. All my friends are too busy for me, unless they need a favor. I hate my life. I need a hug. I'm not going to get it. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 252 You deserved it 230
Make your own ******* dinner!!
😅