When dinner is late By Lewis - 27/01/2019 00:30 FEED ME NOW! I agree, your life sucks 356 You deserved it 119 Share Tweet Share
Today, after leaving my mom's house, I got 4 text messages from her about how I was a terrible person for not saying goodbye to my sister when I left. The "sister" she was referring to is the family dog. FML I agree, your life sucks 44 183 You deserved it 4 751
Today, I noticed that when my boyfriend is sick, his sex drive goes through the roof. Too bad his stamina plummets. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 840 You deserved it 218
Today, I went to go get a haircut. I asked for layers and bangs. She gave me a mullet. My job requires me to be in court on a regular basis and to look professional. I didn't realize mullets were professional. FML I agree, your life sucks 968 You deserved it 135
Today, it's been a year since my wife agreed to an open marriage. A friend said at the time that she would get a lot more sex than me, and would end up leaving me. I ignored him because he's a basement dwelling Trump supporter who's never had a girlfriend. Turns out he was completely right. FML I agree, your life sucks 120 You deserved it 1 238
Today, I was at the reading of my grandma's will. Apparently I was removed from it some time ago, and the £2,500 I would have gotten went to my cheating bitch of an ex-fiancée. It seems my grandma adored her, and never forgave me for "driving her away" from the family. FML I agree, your life sucks 52 183 You deserved it 5 243
Today, I just came back from the vet. I spent a lot of money on a pet tortoise at the local pet store and it didn't come out of its shell when I bought it. The owner just said it sleeps in the day and it'll be shy for a week or so. Turns out it was dead. FML I agree, your life sucks 43 582 You deserved it 9 494
Make your own ******* dinner!!
😅