Today, while searching a woman for contraband as part of my job, she kept making sexual noises throughout. After I finished, she hugged me and went on her way. I really need a new job. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was fired from my job for sexual harassment. I was shopping after work, and I had to get my female manager to give me a package of extra-large condoms from the lockbox. I could not convince her that I was not flirting, and she took it to HR. FML
Today, my boss walked up and smacked my butt. I am a 19 year-old guy. My boss is a 50 year-old woman. I desperately need this job. FML
Today, my girlfriend was suspended from work after she was caught fucking one of her co-workers. FML
Today, a really pretty girl came into my work, but when I went up to help her, my brain misfired and I accidentally said, "How can I hump you?" She yelled at me, and my manager put me on probation. FML
Today, a coworker grabbed my ass for the third time. I went to my boss to complain about the sexual harassment. He told me to suck it up and enjoy the attention, and that it was my fault for having a huge, round ass. I think it's time for a new job. FML
Today, at work, my colleague started to look for a new job. For me. FML
Today, I was working my shift and my ex girlfriend came in to apply for a job. She broke up with me for another guy so i can't stand being in the same room as her. The manager talked to her and decided to hire her on the spot. I need to train her. FML
Today, after eight months of unemployment, I finally started at my new night job. Shortly after walking in, my boss came up behind me, whispered "hooorse dicksss" in my ear, and walked off without another word. I am terrified. FML
Today, I was talking to this girl I really like at my work. Everything was going fine until our boss called me into his office. Apparently I was being a little too flirty with his daughter. FML
Today, I'm a police officer who had the honor of arresting my girlfriend of 3 months for prostitution. All of my coworkers at the station know her and won't stop giving me judging looks. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
AUShano 15
Obviously a case of 100% Customer Satisfaction!
ThomasBombadil 31
I'll have what she had.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (75)
jerryj 27
Well, did you find anything?
subiedude08 17
Yea the sweet spot.
buckdharma 37
Forbidden fruit maybe?
SgtAssCheeks 21
The apple of Eden?
Llamassss 21
Well, she went on her way, so nothing was found.
Stazza11 27
At least you know who to call for role play now haha.
chocolatefrog28 29
Well, at least one of you enjoyed the experience.
Chanti_fml 26
Sounds like she finished too...
ThomasBombadil 31
I'll have what she had.
AUShano 15
Obviously a case of 100% Customer Satisfaction!
Jessj958 19
Because you are great at what you do! ;) lol
Jakob2255 12
check your pocket for her number
ClearlyImFunny 12
First to say YDI give me a badge
FucYoCouch 13
Clearly your username is wrong.
hellnosucka 27
yea I think #8 misspelled their name quite terribly.
CrikOgresmasher 19
I think it was meant to be "Clearlyimfirst". I call first to bitchslap him
why_teh_hell 25
/Just her way of making the experience mutual and making you feel as awkward as you probably made her feel./ At least I'm hoping that's why.
garrett_8614 14
I'm sure OP feels just as awkward feeling up people all day
why_teh_hell 25
Haha, true. Well I guess she made it even worse then!
chuka81 27
Maybe she was just trying to rattle you. Or maybe you have really good hands.
Black_Knight80 13
She probably really needed the job.