Today, while at work, a man grabbed my beard, said it was impressive, and then uttered the words, "I love you." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were snuggling and telling eachother nice things. The nicest thing he could think of to say to me was "Well, I see you shaved your mustache." FML
Today, I finally had a man say, "I love you" to me in a sincere tone. It was a customer, who was high, over the phone. I said it back. FML
Today, I was at work when a cute guy came up to me and said he liked my shirt. In a desperate attempt to say something back, I said, "Thanks, I like your shoelaces." FML
Today, while at work, a customer came up to me, stuck his finger in my armpit, then licked his finger. FML
Today, my co-worker handed me the phone and said it was my boyfriend calling, so I answered "Hello, Love!" It was my boss. FML
Today, I accidentally said, "Bye, love you," to a co-worker as I clocked out. Before I made it home, I had six missed calls and a long text from my co-worker professing her love to me. FML
Today, while at work, a creepy guy blatantly stared at my chest for a good 40 seconds. Finally snapping out of his trance, he said with a wink, "You forgot your name tag." He was right. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. While I was at the store, an employee came up to me and said, "You're beautiful!" When I came home I told my husband what had just happened. My husband then asked, "What was wrong with him?" FML
Today, I was talking to a really cute guy. He leaned closer and I thought he was going to kiss me. Instead, he leaned back, laughed and said, "Wow. You're growing a mustache." FML
Today, I was stopped by a customer who told me that I looked like a nice woman. I thanked him for the compliment and pointed out that I was a man. With an obviously male name on my name tag. And visible facial hair. FML
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Top comments
UnearthlyEnemy 9
Grab his face, compliment it, then utter "but we cannot be together".
Semi_Interested 3
That man obviously knows whats up. Take it as a compliment.
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Comments (176)
Semi_Interested 3
That man obviously knows whats up. Take it as a compliment.
iiTsAJ 5
Looks like you have a fan
howdeedoo 22
A somewhat creepy fan.
LolFMLnot 10
He sounds awesome
DrDilllonReese 12
This isn't even FML, you get to live your life knowing that you and your beard are desirable!
cayytee 0
you should have leaned in for a kiss...see how he would feel then.
notjustanybody20 9
you should have held his penis & said i love you too! :D
BMASE 4
Must be the herpes in the air.
mugu 0
Lol yea
thejewishfuhrer 17
Did you say I love you too? Gotta spread the love y'all. People killing, people dying. Children hurt me to hear their crying. Where is the love?
maddylovesu 5
wouldve been more funny if OP was a girl
SHORTstopp99 5
Creepy, a girl made this comment...
236schertzi 1
Nope, you're stupid.
kill_me_now7 2
Awesome XD
Rhysviri 10
I wonder if OP is Seneca Crane?
BarakatsBurrito 7
I didn't even see that you wrote Ke$ha until The song got stuck in my head because of your comment...curse you!!!!
The_creator_fml 2
Sounds like a hairy situation... Yes I just did that.
jizzwold 21
Alas poor creator I knew thee well
UnearthlyEnemy 9
Grab his face, compliment it, then utter "but we cannot be together".
rubberduckie94 13
I do not think any other comments need to be made after this one. It ca not get any better than this one.
Forlorn420 9
This comment defeats all others. Period
rainbowkissies 14
i love this.
summergirl08 0
This made my day
jaredofmo 22
Yes!
Jiinxx 8
A+
heitwl 1
Take the complement and then file the I love you under dimentia.
RedPillSucks 33
or "restraining order"
Sexy_Smurf 16
That has absolutely cheered up my day! Funny sh*t.... take the compliment ;o) xx
gurly98 13
Wow it made my day also :-)
noto_fml 0
Exactly That men obviously realises a great beard when he sees one. Good looks to you for sporting and crafting such a great masterpiece.
KatherineAnne 7
My brother is so jealous my boyfriend who is over two years younger than him can grow a full beard. Men appreciate their beards!!
X_Codes 11
Yes, you should. He wants to initiate the ancient, dwarven mating ritual with you!
snowmount07 6
There were probaly birds using OPs beard as a nest and the crazy guy was rubbing them, then said he loves because you take care of the birds
kalgon 0
Uhhhhh.........
kcsm1995 0
what about his birds? ;)
Primal 1
Family guy!
outch_fml 0
Badass
mitchossimpants 4
You're a lucky bastard
gurly98 13
Gaymen (amen)!!!!
ClassyCommando 13
My beard's not big enough to grab, so i can't have an amazing broment like that. :(
SkoomaKi 28
That's so bromantic, but very creepy at the same time..
spaerro 8
Plot twist: OP is a girl
Heinousness 0
No, he's a dude. Sorry to disappoint you
akallaan 7
Did he call you Santa and wanna sit on your lap?
BrysGirl27 14
Haha giggady;P
Mitcha857 0
Yea... THATS not awkward.
GawdamitNappa 4
Unnecessary sarcasm is unnecessary.
irrevelant 10
so is repeating yourself repeating
redmane 21
14 - Hey, I applaud you for giving a crack at the art of sarcasm. It's a start. I kid, I kid. Or do I? Not really. No.
TheEpicMilkMan 13
^ daaaaaamn