Today, I arrived at the pizza place I work at to find that I'd been fired. Apparently, the class stoner came in last night and not only demanded a free pizza, but also claimed that I always gave him one. I've never talked to this kid in my life, but my boss still doesn't believe me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boss called me into his office. After yelling and firing me, his assistant comes in telling him he had mistaken me for someone else. He did not give me my job back, as he claimed it would make an awkward work environment. FML
Today, I was getting lunch at a fast food restaurant. My boss was in front of me, and in order to get on his good side I offered to pay. Instead, I got fired because I guess my boss assumed I was making fun of his salary, which I knew nothing about. FML
Today, a customer came in to the Pizza store where I work and complained that the food they had purchased had a strand of black hair in it. After some deliberation, my boss decided to fire me. He is the only staff member there with black hair. I shaved my hair 2 weeks ago. FML
Today, I got fired for failing a drug test for weed. My boss is the one who sells me weed. FML
Today, my friend came over with brownies as a treat before work. She works in a bakery so I thought it was lovely. After starting work, I became stoned. She thought it was a great prank. I was fired. FML
Today, my slacker co-worker accused me of stealing because I got more hours than him. I was called into the manager's office and interrogated. They believed him, and sent me home for the day. I guess it pays off being the boss's kid. FML
Today, I was fired from my job at a local family-ran restaurant. The Reason? The owner's daughter has been stealing money from the register little by little and has blamed me for all the lost money. The boss is still convinced it's me, though, because his daughter would "never tell a lie". FML
Today, I was working at a local restaurant when another server's table called me over to ask if I've "ever killed anybody". They informed me I looked like a serial killer. I informed them, of course, that I have never killed anybody. Another customer claimed I scared her child. I was fired. FML
Today, I was bitched out by a pizza delivery man. I didn't have the cash to pay him for a pizza I didn't even order. FML
Today, I overheard my boss talking about me on the phone. Turns out he was drunk off his ass when he gave the go-ahead to hire me, and he's now searching for any excuse to legally fire me. FML
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Top comments
THE_A_TEEN 28
First of all the FML implies that OP is in college, therefor pizza places/restaurants are one of those places College student's work at. Second, AT LEAST HE HAS A ******* JOB. Third, just because you hate pizza, DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN DEMORALIZE SOMEONE BECAUSE YOU HATE THEIR PRODUCT!! Shut your ******* mouth!!!!!!
abbyhoneywaffles 11
Who in ***** name doesn't like pizza? That's just so.. unnatural.
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Comments (92)
Clodinus 5
The "class stoner"?
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
You know, the kid that smokes ridiculously too much pot.
THE_A_TEEN 28
It's the designated Stoner of OP's classroom. In this case OP got stoner trolled...
imepelepticsir 5
damn those munchies.
ThisIsMyReign 4
Video cameras?
A100893 30
The pizza place might be too poor to afford cameras. Or the stoner stole it out of anger.
iluvhobos 5
Only one "class stoner"? I'm surprised there isn't a group of them, there usually is in schools..
ArcadePie 10
2- That's every kid in my class
ripjohnlennon 5
65- I'm moving to your school
cobaltss06 1
Haha hell yea #65 you are getting two new classmates!!
ArcadePie 10
69- You like john lennon and weed holy shit wer'e destined for each other
XenaWP 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Ydi for working in a pizza place. Pizza sucks balls.
abbyhoneywaffles 11
Who in ***** name doesn't like pizza? That's just so.. unnatural.
THE_A_TEEN 28
First of all the FML implies that OP is in college, therefor pizza places/restaurants are one of those places College student's work at. Second, AT LEAST HE HAS A ******* JOB. Third, just because you hate pizza, DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN DEMORALIZE SOMEONE BECAUSE YOU HATE THEIR PRODUCT!! Shut your ******* mouth!!!!!!
LaColombianita 26
I don't think it matters where he works.. At least he has a job. And pizza is delicious!
ProhibitionRose 14
Pizza is freaking amazing!
RrLSf19 0
4, um excuse me but I worked at a pizza parlor for 2 years and currently in university. Who "sucks balls" now?
KeyboardWarrior 10
She didn't say sucks , she said is. Hey here's a fun thought. Apparently, due to a bunch of factors, pizza is now a vegetable in the U.S.
ganjaranja 10
@13, had job. im sorry op :(
teague95 16
Read 10's comment like this: "first" in regular tone, then "second" louder , and "third" SCREAMING! its so much funner.
trixy81 10
There's something very wrong with you.
Benelli_SkM 0
I'm guessing that you kind of knew this comment would get buried...
nabila21 0
I'm gonna pretend i didnt hear that dude, pizza is awesome
quite_bored 9
If pizza sucks balls, I know what I'm ordering on lonely nights!
Mister_Triangle 21
4 - I believe that I speak for everyone when I say this: you're a ****
4ugu4 7
#4- you've got no balls.
mama2b3 20
That sucks op beat his stoner ass! I'm sorry.
boofgall 16
Stoners are generally nice people, this guy is an exception though.
StonerkidDGK420 0
Stoners are nice. Real talk.
ironwords 8
70 BAHAHAHAHA no.
THE_A_TEEN 28
How to get revenge on your class stoner: 1)Get his weed 2) Taunt him with the weed 3)Bury the weed 4) Encase the weed in Concrete 5) Watch him cry 6) Profit!! Follow these steps OP, get him back for that firing...
cr3ativity 15
How do you exactly profit? Unless you can sell the tears of a depressed stoner or something of similar nature.
imepelepticsir 5
or he can just give me the weed so i may start a cartel.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Well Cr3ativity, you either get the cop's to watch the show and make them pay you by selling them tickets or them giving you a reward. Or just invite some friends and make them pay you for the depressed stoner show. Either way, PROFIT!!!!! Now if you excuse me, i'm going back to my manga...
kez238 0
That's stupid.. They should be like.. "Hey class stoner, you cost me my job so we should smoke up and you should buy."
dansco 25
No no, its more simple. Just the head teacher at school that you see him selling to kids and offering them pizza!
greentiger 5
The fact that your boss doesn't believe you means that they aren't worth your time. Find another job
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
"the customer is always right."
THE_A_TEEN 28
^Proven to be ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT. Trust me...
StoryOfTheYear 15
11- Someone once told me it was blue tag sale that week. I pointed to the very large sign directly behind them and kindly told them it was green tag week. Them bitches wuz wrong.
Isoldael 27
Or when they tell you / demand they should get more change because they paid with a €50,- bill, and you're still HOLDING the €5,- bill they gave you...
LoonyKev 0
my guess is the class stoner is the bosses son, the boss always wanted to fire OP, just need a reason to I could be wrong
LoonyKev 0
needed*
lrgenesis 19
Don't worry OP I'm sure it'll work itself out or there's a way to prove it, then you'll get re hired!
McDonaldsworker 4
lol I know how that is! At my job the other day a bunch of kids came in and told my manager that I gave free food away...only sad part is I don't...too much
ninjuh_wingman 29
Stoners are funny. Unless they get you fired. Thats when you hide their stash and make them find it.
jacob4592 0
Sorry about that man, I hope that kid gets punched in the face and you get your job back or blessed with another one
cr3ativity 15
This is when you call the cops to intervene on his sorry ass. When you get back at people make sure that they will never try to get back at you again.
bizarre_ftw 22
This is when you plant crack in his locker and call the cops on him