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The all-time greatest FMLs

Goddam red tape

By unqualified - 04/05/2023 00:00

Today, I found out that the degree I'd assumed I had for the last 10 years was invalid due to a clerical error. Surely it'd be an easy fix? Nope. Both the degree structure and the admin system have been entirely changed between now and then. I'd have to study for two more years to validate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 114

You deserved it 113

Creepy disruption

By Anonymous - 27/02/2023 10:00

Today, my stepbrother, with whom I’ve had a normal relationship with since we were 5, announced that he’s in love with me. I rejected him, but now my stepmom who’s Catholic is blaming me for "seduction and immorality" blah blah, while my dad now thinks my brother is a pervert who needs to live somewhere else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 114

You deserved it 108

Slumlords

By Nelson - 11/04/2022 12:00 - Netherlands

Today, and for the last two weeks, my asshole landlord refuses to fix the hot water supply. My shower is now so cold that peeing on myself while washing is actually helping. I need a new place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 114

You deserved it 94

So frustrating!

By Marvin-jones - 02/03/2023 02:00

Spicy

Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 114

You deserved it 138

Love in the time of coronavirus

By Darkparcero33 - 28/02/2021 08:01

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Then my COVID test came back as positive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 114

You deserved it 162

Who the **** are you?

By Anonymous - 18/10/2020 02:02

Today, I finally mustered up the courage to send a message to the girl I've been crushing on for years. I'm now blocked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 114

You deserved it 225

Make your minds up

By damngurl - 10/12/2022 18:00

Today, I got fired. Yesterday was my birthday and I was told I was getting a promotion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 114

You deserved it 129

Skinny Love

By Anonymous - 17/04/2021 05:00

Today, my girlfriend of 5 years dumped me because she got tired of me being thinner than her and, in her own words, making her look bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 114

You deserved it 123

Team building over a cliff

By Chris - 26/10/2023 15:00

Today, my company held another team building event, and it's annoying. It was third event for this month only. I like having fun, but we keep losing clients and revenue. Our boss knows this, but she keeps encouraging us to "find our energy and channel it into productivity." Next week, we're going to a beach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 114

You deserved it 452

Not the rugby team!

By Anonymous - 11/01/2023 10:00

Today, at dinner, I stumbled over the words of the prayer and my dad is now convinced I’m losing interest in my religious responsibilities. To “bring me back to the Lord” he is trying to force me to break up with my girlfriend and quit the rugby team. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 147

Wasting away

By Mustanggt - 19/02/2022 16:01

Spicy

Today, my dry spell reached the 15-year mark. I've been employed and in shape the whole time, and now I can feel my body wearing out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 251

It's not me, it's you

By Anonymous - 02/09/2021 14:01

Today, my boyfriend of the last 2 years, who is suicidal and heavily depressed, left me because he thinks I "deserve better". Not to mention I was his best friend, therapist, mother and girlfriend all in one. He left me with rent due in a week and all other expenses because he couldn’t take care of me in return. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 237

Reverse psychology

By Marie - 11/06/2020 17:12

Today, while trying to get my picky daughter to eat her dinner, I pretended to take some of her food and give it to her brother, thinking that would get her to eat it. Instead, she thanked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 818

Sinking feeling

By Daligheri - 02/03/2021 11:01

Today, my girlfriend dumped me after we watched Titanic for the first time together. Why? Two reasons. Because I cried, and apparently men aren't allowed to be emotional, and because she asked me if I would save her or a boat of women and children first. Neither answer was correct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 147

Big tongue logging on

By Anonymous - 09/09/2020 23:01 - United States - Norwich

Today, I spent seven dollars to find out I’m allergic to kiwi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 189

Paper thin walls

By Anonymous - 20/01/2022 05:00

Today, I live in an apartment and all I can hear is my neighbours' bratty kids screaming with their new toys. Not only do I hate kids, making this absolute torture, I also work nights and only fell into bed at 6 a.m. this morning, so that’s 4 hours trying to sleep so far and I’m back at work in 5 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 286

Having fun?

By Anonymous - 21/05/2022 02:00

Today, on my birthday night, my husband decided to book a trip for himself to go on a solo trip, leaving me with the kids. Instead of hanging out with us and celebrating, he's yelling at our son to leave him alone so he can finish booking the airfare and car rental. Great birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 152

Body modification

By Anonymous - 22/04/2022 14:00

Today, I got a nipple piercing. My girlfriend thought I was pranking her with a fake piercing, because I wouldn’t be "daft enough" to get a real one, and she yanked it off, or rather through, my nipple. Yes, it cut my poor nip in half, and I now have two nipples where once I had only one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 371

Is it a fetish or just gross?

By Anonymous - 05/12/2022 10:00

Spicy

Today, after finally moving in with my boyfriend of 3 years, he introduced me to his fetish. Wearing his underwear for 5 days straight, then wearing them as a hat on the weekends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 154

My lovely horse

By Anonymous - 18/08/2021 08:01

Today, after we managed to find a horse that was completely healthy and problem-free, we took her home. Now she keeps getting thinner because she's stressed and scared. Of what? Of having too much space to move around in, and occasionally seeing deer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 134

The Kinks

By Anonymous - 23/05/2022 22:00

Spicy

Today, my dad found out that there are others like him in this world. They're called furries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 210

News to me

By Anonymous - 29/11/2021 14:01

Today, I checked my mom's email to track a package I'm waiting to receive. Instead, I found out my mom canceled the order, and that my parents are getting a divorce and have been fighting via email for weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 192

Deception

By Anonymous - 07/01/2021 11:01

Today, I found out that my husband, who was supposed to be in PA school, dropped out 6 and a half years ago and never even received his bachelor's. He started lying to me before we were even a year into dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 179

Support system

By OP. - 29/08/2021 12:01 - Australia - Collaroy

Today, my family finally noticed my depression because of how quiet, down and uninterested I’ve been. They responded by harassing me for saying nothing, calling me names, and making fun of me. Hmm, I wonder why I’m depressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 131

The road to hell…

By carlyalexia - 28/08/2020 20:01

Today, I was trying to do a nice thing and let my friend's mom borrow my car. I went to move my mom's car that was parked behind me so that I could get my car out, and then proceeded to back into my dad's new company car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 648

Death cult

By Anonymous - 27/11/2021 05:01

Today, my aunt told me that I'm dead to her now and not to visit them ever again. Why? She found out that I'm pro-choice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 338

Butterfingers

By dumbbitch - 25/03/2021 09:34

Today, I gave myself burns on my inner thigh by dropping my curling iron. Instead of a cute date at a restaurant, I had a date with the doctors in the emergency room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 198

heeeeyitsbrittney tells us more.

heeeeyitsbrittney 12

Thursday 25 March 2021 9:20

Op here! Unfortunately I was using a brand new curling iron that had changeable barrels. The barrel wasn’t snapped into place completely, so while I was curling my hair the barrel fell off and onto my leg. Because it fell off the handle I couldn’t pick it up so I had to swat it off of my leg. Unfortunately because it sat a little longer than it should of (the temp on it was 450 Fahrenheit) it caused two 3rd degree burns on my upper thigh. Because of the severity of the burn and the fact it was already blistering and cracking I had to make a trip to the ER. Thankfully it won’t scar but the road to recovery will be interesting and I definitely learned a couple lessons.

Tinder surprise

By Anonymous - 14/01/2023 04:00

Today, a woman turned up uninvited at my house, ready for our first date. After some embarrassed investigating, it turns out my mother signed me up to Tinder and arranged a date, all without telling me, because she refuses to believe I prefer solitude over dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 131

Paranoia

By Anonymous - 29/09/2020 10:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I asked a girl to move from Tinder to WhatsApp, after 3 weeks of nice chat. She said no way, and that I just wanted nudes and then unmatched. The only intention I had was getting to know her and asking her on a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 198

The reflex, flex flex flex flex

By Flyaway - 21/03/2021 11:56 - Australia - Rhodes

Today, a fly landed on my dentist's arm. The same arm and hand holding the needle inserted into my gum. He instinctively tried to shake it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 112

You deserved it 64

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The Top

The Top

Today, not an hour after my girlfriend lectured me on boundaries and "my body, my rules", she threw an epic tantrum because I wouldn't let her pop a pimple on my ear. Apparently, only she gets to have boundaries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 546

You deserved it 97

Today, I decided to make homemade french fries. I figured all I needed was potatoes and salt, right? Wrong! I also needed the fire department and an ambulance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 631

You deserved it 28 353

Today, after an entire week of doing all the household chores, and feeling under appreciated, I suggested to my boyfriend that we go on a date night, to feel a little more connected. He has spent all day trying to get out of it. I offered to pay, because I just want to feel loved again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 328

You deserved it 238

Today, at my job at a frozen yogurt shop, an elderly woman gladly announced that I'd be seeing a lot of her due to the vaginal infection that she has. Thank you for that, ma'am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 503

You deserved it 4 209

Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. It went well, until my dad got drunk and started telling everyone about how "midgets" are assholes and are ruining America. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 719

You deserved it 1 734

Today, while messaging a possible new hire to set up an interview at my retail job, I meant to say, "Thank you for being flexible" - in regards to scheduling. Instead, it autocorrected to, "Thank you for being delicious." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 300

You deserved it 338