By FML Approved - France - Paris MAKE IT STOP Today, I got "Despacito" stuck in my head. FML 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By telefucked - United States Today, my parents switched phone companies, which changed the phone number. Two days ago, I dropped off over 15 job applications with my 'old' number on all of them. There is a waiting period before I can reapply anywhere. FML I agree, your life sucks 32505 You deserved it 4202 81 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kengu - Norway Today, I mopped all the floors in my house. When I was finally done, I accidentally knocked over an open bottle of soda. My cats took this as a perfect opportunity to chase each other around, step in the soda, and track sticky paw prints everywhere. FML I agree, your life sucks 28536 You deserved it 7100 118 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Evjoel - Bermuda - Hamilton Today, whilst making a cake for my kids, I accidentally got some cocoa powder in my nose. Now it feels like my nose is burning stronger than the fires of hell. On the bright side, everything smells like chocolate. FML I agree, your life sucks 11559 You deserved it 1080 29 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Potted - United States - Denton Today, after my close friend had his baby, he told me that he was no longer going to be selling weed at his house. I was happy for him, because it's unsafe. Until I found out he was still selling at my house with the help of my roommates, without telling me. FML I agree, your life sucks 26855 You deserved it 3884 42 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ananomoose - United States Rush job Today, I was struggling through an exam and the hot girl next to me seemed to be flying through the questions. So I cheated off her. When we finished I asked her to lunch. She said "No, I just rushed through the exam so I can go fuck my boyfriend." I got shutdown and probably failed an exam. FML I agree, your life sucks 11644 You deserved it 93380 121 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SorryUncleTommy - United States - Brooklyn Today, it was my uncle's funeral. I wasn't very close with him, but I still wanted to be respectful. My boyfriend, being the jackass that he is, was singing the Spider Pig song from The Simpsons under his breath while making his fingers walk up my leg, trying to get under my skirt. FML I agree, your life sucks 29184 You deserved it 7038 138 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, I awakened from my peaceful slumber in a great mood. I walked into my closet, ready to pick out an outfit for the day, to find my two year old daughter, kneeling on the floor with a pair of scissors in her hand, cutting up my wedding dress - my wedding is tomorrow. FML I agree, your life sucks 69484 You deserved it 14111 199 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Username - France Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML I agree, your life sucks 28615 You deserved it 4730 220 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SkiMaskFukd - United States Today, I just realized the harder my girlfriend comes during sex, the louder she snores after. I've tried earplugs but sometimes, like tonight, once I am up, I can't fall back to sleep. My choices are thus great sex and no sleep, or great sleep but no sex. FML I agree, your life sucks 43103 You deserved it 5787 172 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco Today, my brother told me to, "Stop bitching and get over it" after I complained of pain from my stomach after invasive surgery. This from the guy who spends multiple hours a day playing Halo and whining about the stupid ways he got killed. FML I agree, your life sucks 25693 You deserved it 2050 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By insomniac Today, my sister is nursing an injured cat back to health in our home because she accidentally hit it with her car. Now I can't decide which is contributing more to my insomnia: the incessant meowing, or the constant itching because our house is infested with fleas. FML I agree, your life sucks 26375 You deserved it 3456 55 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Paranoid much? Today, I got pushed around by several suspicious mothers in a playground. I just wanted to sit down and rest my feet while I waited for my wife to finish her shopping across the street. FML I agree, your life sucks 1533 You deserved it 157 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By g'day cunt - Australia - Adelaide Today, my dog head-butted me in the mouth so hard that my lip split open. Twenty minutes later, I unthinkingly sprayed perfume directly into the wound. FML I agree, your life sucks 8626 You deserved it 28776 56 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Gabi - United States Today, my boyfriend would rather jerk off than have sex with me. Even if I'm next to him in bed. FML I agree, your life sucks 35064 You deserved it 6515 307 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By rubber_duckie177 - United States Today, my sisters and I were throwing my mom a birthday party. Since I'm not good at baking, I ordered her a really nice and expensive cake. As my daughter and I were headed out the door, she told me she had added some sprinkles to make it pretty. It was the silica beads from a package. FML I agree, your life sucks 36919 You deserved it 3998 124 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Cass - Australia Today, I got the feeling that my phone smelt of cigarettes and B.O. I smelt it, realised that it was my hands that smelt, then got confused and thought maybe it was my nose piercing that smelt. I then realised my psychology class was watching me trying to smell my own nose. FML I agree, your life sucks 7776 You deserved it 28623 106 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I got diagnosed with stomach ulcers. They are very painful, and I have been throwing up blood. On my latest trip to the toilet, I was heaving and the pain was making me beat the floor with my fist, the toilet lid decided to come crashing down on my head, giving me a minor concussion. FML I agree, your life sucks 36679 You deserved it 3948 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By BaWanda - United States - San Diego Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML I agree, your life sucks 32505 You deserved it 47996 69 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By chelse_elyce - United States Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in his car. We were in the front seat and I was on top. My ass hit the horn and scared my boyfriend so bad, he jumped, causing me to hit my head so hard that I swear I got a concussion. FML I agree, your life sucks 34653 You deserved it 13253 88 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bruh_im18 - United States - Metairie Today, I found out the 28-year-old I am dating is actually 48. FML I agree, your life sucks 12918 You deserved it 2544 100 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Username Today, the guy who sits next to me in my psychology class openly admitted to torturing animals as a child. It's going to be a long semester. FML I agree, your life sucks 31324 You deserved it 2836 142 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I found out that because of my high blood pressure I can't have sex for one month. My wedding is next weekend and the following two weeks are my honey moon. FML I agree, your life sucks 266654 You deserved it 28436 201 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By myusofwe - Puerto Rico - Caguas Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with the guy I like. He couldn't get it up and awkwardly tried to stick his limp penis in. FML I agree, your life sucks 25786 You deserved it 2998 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By nonymous human subject - United States - Palo Alto Today, I got to my human anatomy class with a hickey on my neck. Since I sit in the front row, my professor noticed and decided to call me to the front. He then started talking about ruptured blood vessels and hickeys, all while as I served as the subject. FML I agree, your life sucks 23470 You deserved it 7810 74 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 14/2/2021 14:01 - Colombia Thanks mom Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML I agree, your life sucks 789 You deserved it 75 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Something smells fishy. Today, the maid left a bottle of Febreze in my hotel room. Think she is trying to tell me something? FML I agree, your life sucks 3219 You deserved it 769 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - United States - Lamar Today, I found my dad drunk, sitting on the bathroom floor crying. When I asked him why, he said, "My son is gay." I'm his only child, and I'm a girl. FML I agree, your life sucks 51252 You deserved it 3037 73 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia Today, I had to explain to my mother that it is inappropriate to hit on my boyfriend when his parents are over for dinner. FML I agree, your life sucks 35151 You deserved it 2682 57 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NoMagicMike - United States - La Crescent Today, I was assigned to work on a huge project with Michael. Michael refers to himself in the third person, constantly mumbles unintelligibly to himself, doesn't smile, laugh or make eye contact, and refuses to address me directly. I'll be stuck with him for about four months. FML I agree, your life sucks 24641 You deserved it 2317 175 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Kamburgler - United States Today, this really cute guy at work kept flirting with me and cracking the funniest jokes. Before he left, he told me how much he enjoyed making me smile. An hour later, I saw my reflection in a mirror, I had a huge piece of food stuck in my teeth. FML I agree, your life sucks 36310 You deserved it 5682 114 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By wellthisisbad - United States - Boynton Beach Today, I learned that not only am I pregnant, I'm too far along for an abortion. My husband and I originally bonded over the fact that we both hate children. FML I agree, your life sucks 18609 You deserved it 29341 512 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NotYourDaddy Today, my 17-year-old employee accidentally called me "Dad". We all got a good laugh from it and went on with our days. Later, after getting her some coins for her cash drawer, she playfully said, "Thanks, Daddy." The customer she was serving? My wife. FML I agree, your life sucks 6314 You deserved it 535 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By FatalxDesire599 - United States Today, my mother stormed into my room shouting about how I never go anywhere and then tells me to go out "NOW" and do something. As she is pushing me out the door, her boyfriend walks in. FML I agree, your life sucks 32579 You deserved it 2790 147 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Gloria Lovestar All over the place Today, I visited my in-laws, whom I thought I was on great terms with. I soon learned that wasn't the case when my mother-in-law yelled at me about how I've been abusing her for years. Ten minutes later, she hugged me and asked me for grandkids. FML I agree, your life sucks 1515 You deserved it 106 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 28/3/2020 05:00 Slicey machine go thwack Today, I lost my job due to the coronavirus. I have no way to pay my bills and very few places are hiring just now. My boss tried to make me feel better by saying her husband was just laid off and they'll struggle as well. She has a £120k salary and just got a £30k bonus. Apparently, "we're in the same boat." FML I agree, your life sucks 2015 You deserved it 132 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lefthandspanker - United States - Craig Today, my slightly batshit insane grandma called me disgusting and unladylike. Why? For writing with my left hand. FML I agree, your life sucks 24778 You deserved it 1608 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Philippines - Las Pi?as City Today, at preschool, I got to meet the mother of my daughter's best friend. She complimented mine's grades, and noted her quirkiness. I complimented her's for being congenial and being well-rounded. Later, my daughter said they are no longer besties because her mom said I called her daughter fat. FML I agree, your life sucks 21602 You deserved it 1655 50 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ryan - United States Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Its was pretty good and heavy and she was moaning nicely. Then her moans got softer and softer and then nothing. She fell asleep. FML I agree, your life sucks 24307 You deserved it 6766 188 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mobster - United States Today, while doing aerobics in my room, I started doing really powerful Knee Highs. My cell phone fell out of my pocket while doing one knee high. As I looked down, I kneed myself in the face. I spent the next couple hours in the emergency room while the doctor told everyone my story. FML I agree, your life sucks 37243 You deserved it 19614 93 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Username - France Today, I was playing with my four month old daughter, flying her in the air like an airplane. I open my mouth saying 'Weeee', and she vomited on my face. FML I agree, your life sucks 29554 You deserved it 15686 75 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ali927truthh | 11 #7488377 - Wednesday 12 July 2017 19:33 So? Besides Justin Bieber that's in a part of the song, what else is there to hate? It's a pretty good song actually- catchy too! Send a private message 7 3 Reply
By MidnaLink | 32 #7488370 - Wednesday 12 July 2017 19:28 If you're complaining about Bieber, to be fair, he's not even in 10% of the whole song. And it's catchy as well. Otherwise, I got nothing. Send a private message 4 2 Reply
By MidnaLink | 32 #7488370 - Wednesday 12 July 2017 19:28 If you're complaining about Bieber, to be fair, he's not even in 10% of the whole song. And it's catchy as well. Otherwise, I got nothing. Send a private message 4 2 Reply
By ali927truthh | 11 #7488377 - Wednesday 12 July 2017 19:33 So? Besides Justin Bieber that's in a part of the song, what else is there to hate? It's a pretty good song actually- catchy too! Send a private message 7 3 Reply
By Glowworm56 | 25 #7488494 - Wednesday 12 July 2017 21:06 You can't get a song stuck in your head if you've never heard of it to begin with. ;) That would be me. Send a private message 4 0 Reply
By Regulate | 21 #7488527 - Wednesday 12 July 2017 21:43 I don't even see how it could be called music and there are people commenting sticking up for the 'song'. Give me strength. Garbage. Just garbage. Send a private message 2 2 Reply
Reply myusofwe | 15 #7488570 - Wednesday 12 July 2017 22:21 It's a good song. Stop being such a grumpy elitist. Send a private message 1 4 Reply
Reply Regulate | 21 #7490468 - Thursday 13 July 2017 23:27 Hahaha. Hahahaha. Haha. Ha. Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By Aricycla | 6 #7488628 - Wednesday 12 July 2017 23:04 As soon as I saw this, "Let Me Love You" comes on ? Send a private message 1 0 Reply
By RichardPencil | 29 #7488910 - Thursday 13 July 2017 3:06 I just gotta know how Justin does it down in Pwweeerrrrto Rrrrrrrico Send a private message 1 0 Reply
By olga_crvjl | 19 #7489288 - Thursday 13 July 2017 7:54 Love that song but the original one not the remix with Justin Bieber lol Send a private message 1 0 Reply
Today, barely able to pay rent while working 3 jobs, I decided to give in to the idea of making online sex work photos and videos. Everyone else seems... I agree, your life sucks 225 You deserved it 66 3 Comments
Today, I started to cry while masturbating. This isn't the first time that this has happened. FML I agree, your life sucks 346 You deserved it 140 3 Comments