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So… about that…

By Anonymous - 17/09/2025 03:00

Today, the moment I had been fearing for the past few days arrived: my mom asked me if I knew what a groyper was. I don't know what's worse, that I know what they are, or that trying explain the concept is so convoluted, she now thinks I'm making shit up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 270

You deserved it 101

Special day

By LockedOut - 28/04/2026 12:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my husband and I sent our kids out with family and had the house to ourselves after ages. We had awesome sex. I wanted to cuddle while he wanted to take me out to a restaurant to enjoy our day. We argued, he won, and while we left our home arguing, we locked ourselves outside. The locksmith was costly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 270

You deserved it 185

Tyrannical

By Anonymous - 11/07/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I got to sports practice 30 seconds late and got kicked out for "poor time management". FML

I agree, your life sucks 270

You deserved it 188

Nice but weird

By Anonymous - 20/12/2025 09:00

Today, my boss sent a Christmas present… to my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 95

Strange metric

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2020 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I decided that I need to lose weight when I discovered I could no longer chew on my own toenails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 2 005

Nope, no thanks

By Alone - 26/08/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, three members of my five-person polycule moved away, leaving myself and one other girl. I really liked her, so I was okay… until she split because she "didn't want to be in a boring straight relationship." FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 400

Stylish

By Anonymous - 28/12/2025 12:00

Today, I wore my favorite light coat to brunch. Halfway in, someone bumped my arm and a long smear of lipstick appeared across the sleeve, matching the napkin I’d earlier used to dab my lips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 114

Should I stay or should I go?

By Anonymous - 26/07/2026 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend got drunk and said it was a shame that two handsome guys across the room were gay, because real men like that were perfect for marrying and having babies with. She has let me know many times she does not want to marry or have babies. Guess it’s just me she doesn’t want them with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 61

I'm trying! I'm trying!

By Not my best work - 15/06/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I took a pottery class to try out a new hobby. After an hour of work, I had somehow created something that looked vaguely like a bowl. The teacher walked by and asked what I was making. When I proudly said, "A bowl," she paused and replied, "Oh." FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 84

Pants down

By Anonymous - 05/06/2026 12:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, I was shopping in a mall when I needed to go to the bathroom. One of the toilets was out of order, so I went to the other toilet. After that, there was no toilet paper, so when I saw tissue in the sink, I left the stall with my pants down and someone saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 115

Kids say the darndest things

By Chrissy - 14/09/2025 15:00 - Canada

Today, I was babysitting my niece. While we were at the grocery store, she pointed at me and loudly announced, “She says she’s on a diet, but she eats cookies in bed!” She wasn’t wrong. The cashier raised an eyebrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 174

Fitness goals

By Anonymous - 07/09/2025 22:00 - United States - Warren

Today, under advice from my doctor that I should increase the intensity of my exercises in order to lose weight, I decided to increase the resistance level of the exercise bike I typically use by one, as I could do the previous level easily. My legs got sore after 5 minutes and then I got very sick, so I had to go back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 119

Germs

By Anonymous - 24/07/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom - Addlestone

Today, I finally put away two weeks worth of clean laundry, only to get to the bottom of the pile and find mice droppings. I now have to wash my whole wardrobe, bed linen, and towels with disinfectant (On top of sanitising my furniture and floors). FML

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 124

It's the thought that counts

By cakelady - 16/11/2025 12:00

Today, I spent two hours baking a chocolate cake for my coworker Cathy's birthday. I took it into the office, everyone gathered, and we sang. Her birthday is actually next week. The person whose birthday was today is named Kevin, and he’s allergic to chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 225

It's not a phase, Mom

By goldstar lesbo - 12/03/2026 03:00

Today, I split with my abusive girlfriend and moved back in with my parents. Now my mom won't stop pressuring me to get with a man and have a million kids. I hate men, absolutely despise the disgusting pigs, and wouldn't be with one if we were the only people on Earth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 637

Final destination

By Anonymous - 21/09/2025 22:00

Today, I was giving a friend a ride to a party and I followed Google Maps blindly. After 25 minutes of driving, we pulled into a cemetery. The GPS cheerfully announced, “You’ve arrived at your destination.” I suppose it is in a way, but we didn't plan on being early to THAT party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 116

Don't tread on me

By Unfit - 19/07/2026 03:00 - Canada

Today, I bought a used treadmill and set it up in my room. I switched it on, it made one heroic whir, died before I could even get on it, then it tripped the fuse box. I was left in the dark, holding a sneaker, while my roommate upstairs yelled, “Is that normal? What've you done this time?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 96

Gimme the juice

By Anonymous - 09/07/2026 03:00 - United States - Detroit

Today, I was overjoyed when someone finally came to my house to get the electricity back up and running. All that was changed to dismay upon finding out they first needed to find a tree trimming and removal service to clean up all the fallen branches on the power lines. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 62

BEEP BEEP BEEP

By Anonymous - 14/06/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I bought noise-canceling headphones because my neighbors are loud. The first night I wore them, I completely missed the sound of my smoke alarm battery dying. Instead of hearing a faint beep every minute, I woke up to six missed calls from my roommate asking why I wasn't answering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 107

Woo woo

By Dumb fuck - 04/01/2026 12:00

Today, my husband bought a new pillow made of "organic cotton and wool." It cost almost two hundred dollars. He could have bought a dozen regular pillows for that kind of money, "but they're not natural fibers, they're full of unhealthy chemicals." I'm so sick of his woo-woo bullshit. IT'S A FUCKING PILLOW. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 460

I'm doing fine

By Superdad - 20/04/2026 03:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, trying to prove I can handle things solo while my wife is away. I packed my kid’s lunch, dropped him at school, and felt very accomplished… until the teacher emailed me a picture of the lunchbox. I had packed my own leftover spicy curry instead of his sandwich. Apparently, “It was too spicy but also kind of good.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 217

Time flies

By Jellyroll - 14/06/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I ordered custom birthday balloons online. The company printed my age as 82 instead of 28. The balloons arrived on the morning of the party, and there wasn't enough time to replace them. My guests spent the evening asking about my "remarkable longevity." FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 102

All fixed up

By Anonymous - 09/06/2026 12:00 - United States - Center Line

Today, after I was wrapping up a visit with my chiropractor, I nearly fell off his table onto my face when I missed a handhold trying to push myself upright. After getting up, I then bumped into a poster on the wall, nearly knocking it onto the floor. At least the chiropractor had a good sense of humor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 86

Treat yourself with kindness

By Anonymous - 26/01/2026 16:41

Today, I got so sad and depressed looking at my old pictures. I had such bad body dysmorphia from all the mean, nasty, hateful things my horrid family used to bully me for that I never realized I was actually pretty. Now thanks to an autoimmune disease my body will never look nor feel the same. FML

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 38

In slow motion

By Anonymous - 20/07/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I volunteered to take a group photo at a birthday dinner, backed up for the perfect angle, and sat directly in a bowl of guacamole. Everyone watched it happen like a slow motion accident. No one warned me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 125

No fun allowed

By Annie S. - 16/07/2026 22:00 - United States - New York

Today, my boyfriend and toddler little sister were happily being silly, with each other going "WHOA!!!" and acting like they were being blown around by a huge gust of wind… every time, right after I'd sneezed, which I have been doing all morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 112

Don't believe the hype

By Long Ranged Missile... Detected! - 30/01/2026 15:00

Today, an officemate "invited" me to take a selfie with him with his "Brand new iPhone 17 Pro Max, fully paid in cash." And here I am, still lugging my now 7 year-old phone, which is stuck at Android 9, and I had to stick a power bank on the casing to keep the battery on life support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 119

Worst hangover ever

By Anonymous - 03/05/2026 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, while I was drunk, my brother decided to use pliers to pull out my bad tooth. He grabbed the wrong tooth, and when it didn’t pop out cleanly he decided he just needed to squeeze harder, and crushed the healthy tooth into splinters. I can feel the nerve with my tongue, it’s agony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 461

Do not overreact

By Anonymous - 07/05/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my grandma passed away the morning of my wedding a couple of days ago and my (soon-to-be ex) husband and so-called family all conspired to keep it a secret from me so as not to upset me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 453

Make up for it

By Emily - 17/02/2026 15:00

Today, after I used the try-on foundation feature online and it matched, I'd bought it but it was way too light. I then found out that it wasn’t the right foundation and because I had used it, I couldn’t get a refund. I went back to buy the right foundation but my shade was out of stock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 164

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The Top

Today, I found out that my dog likes to howl when he hears sirens. I live next to the fire station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 658

You deserved it 3 758

Today, since my husband has been volunteering to do more of the cooking, I was happy and relieved to have help, until every meal he made had an ungodly amount of spices in it. I overheard him on the phone, saying he’s been purposely making my food inedibly hot so that I’ll eat less and lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 014

You deserved it 314

Today, I got dragged to a wedding where I knew no-one. It went on for hours, I got so hungry. We get to the meal, my wife had forgotten to order a vegetarian meal for me. I couldn't eat the main meal, due to allergies and no alternative. I then spent two more hours just waiting to go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 159

You deserved it 314

Today, all of my friends are complaining about weight gain due to the pandemic. Instead, I have remained the exact same size, but completely unable to sleep or digest my food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 837

You deserved it 95

Today, my husband found my diary in which I talked about inviting another man into our bedroom. He left for a while and came back with a friend of his. My fantasy may become reality but I'm terrified what it will do to our relationship. I put them off for now, but I don't know what to do. He's all for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 2 102

Today, I was running late for work and grabbed what I thought was my deodorant. Turns out, it was my husband's foot spray. Now I'm at the office smelling like a combination of roses and athlete's foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 218

You deserved it 371