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Temper tantrum

By ViciousCycle - 23/09/2026 09:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my husband has a terrible temper and starts screaming for everything. Consequently, I've learnt to deflect and shift blame to save myself. He says he flies off the handle because I shift blame, while I do it to avoid being verbally abused. Made for each other much? FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 136

Internet words IRL

By Anonymous - 07/05/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I decided to open up to my friends about losing my dad last year. To my horror, all they could do was laugh at and mock me, all because I said that he "unalived" himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 454

No kidding

By Minding my own biz - 26/05/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, at brunch, a friend started talking about wanting kids. The table immediately turned into a debate about whether having children is selfish, noble, irresponsible, or “bad for the planet.” The waiter came back 3 times asking if we were ready to order, while 8 adults argued over the future of humanity next to untouched eggs Benedict. FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 132

I can explain

By SLEEPLESS - 07/09/2026 09:00 - Norway - Oslo

Today, I have my bedroom window covered in tinfoil, since there is an insanely bright streetlight right outside my window and nothing else works to block it so when I brought a girl back to my place and she opened the blinds, she saw the tinfoil and stared in horror. I tried to explain but she just stared and stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 286

You deserved it 79

Prodigy

By Anonymous - 30/11/2025 12:00

Today, I have in my living room a Rubik’s cube I’ve been trying to solve for over a year. I just got home and it was sat on the floor solved. Apparently my wife gave it to her nephew to play with and he solved it in about four minutes, then got bored. He’s 8 and I’m 33. FML

I agree, your life sucks 286

You deserved it 192

Old timey reference

By Anonymous - 21/07/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I was exercising my legs by laying on my stomach and lifting a dumbbell between my feet. I sneezed mid-lift and dropped the dumbbell right on my taint. I haven’t looked but I’m pretty sure both my asshole and cooch are bruised. I’m walking like John Wayne. FML

I agree, your life sucks 286

You deserved it 191

Faux pas

By Awkward - 20/04/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, visiting my partner’s family for the first time, I offered to help cook, saying I could chop the vegetables. Five minutes later, I nicked my finger, dropped the knife, and instinctively said a very loud curse word in front of their very traditional grandparents. Everyone froze while someone went to get me a bandage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 286

You deserved it 168

SHUT UP!

By Annoyed - 14/08/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, my smoke alarm started chirping at 3 a.m. I replaced the battery, reset it, and got back into bed. Five minutes later, it chirped again. I searched for the source before realizing it was my roommate's alarm clock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 286

You deserved it 69

Emergency!

By Anonymous - 23/08/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I got my kids busy, so I took a shower. I heard banging on the door. “MOM! Emergency!” I wrapped myself in a towel and opened the door expecting some catastrophe. My 6-year-old said, “Where do we keep the spoons?” I stared at him. “The drawer.” “Oh. OK.” Then walked off. I stood there dripping, wondering how I had become the emergency spoon consultant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 286

You deserved it 91

Doomerism

By Karmen - 01/01/2026 03:00

Today, I learned that my country has canceled all our offshore wind farms, putting the fight against the climate crisis back probably fifty years. When I told my husband, he said, "Good, we don't want to be the beached whale capital of the world". THE CLIMATE CRISIS, PEOPLE! FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 415

Messy bitch

By Clean up - 22/08/2026 22:00 - United States - Houston

Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend by cleaning the entire apartment before he came home. I even lit a candle and put fresh flowers on the table. When he walked in, he stared at everything and said, “Did someone come over?” My boyfriend thought a cleaning service had been hired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 104

Bye bye dinner

By 4FLuckSake - 19/09/2026 00:00 - United States - Washington

Today, after I finished dinner, I was getting ready to wash the dishes, but first I needed to take my vitamins. I accidentally gagged myself and puked in the kitchen sink of dirty dishes. I had to clean vomit and the dishes. I vomited my entire dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 132

Support local businesses

By Anonymous - 29/04/2026 20:00 - United States - Rock Hill

Today, I found out that my favorite coffee place, which I’ve been meaning to go back to for months, completely shut down. It was one of the only good things about my city. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 198

One liner

By Anonymous - 23/01/2026 15:00

Today, I opened a new can of shaving cream. The moment I touched the top, the whole can emptied into my palm, and startled the crap outta me. I'm a whole lot more sympathetic to my first girlfriend now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 128

Put it in park

By Anonymous - 10/04/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I’m learning to drive and finally felt confident enough to park in a tight spot with my instructor watching. I nailed the angle perfectly, but when I tried to get out, I realized I'd parked so close to the line that I couldn’t open the door. I had to climb out of the passenger side while my instructor pretended not to laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 114

The Doors

By Invisible - 09/08/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I walked into an automatic glass door at a mall when it failed to open. A woman asked if I was OK, so I said, "I'm fine, the door must be busted." The automatic door then opened immediately after, proving it worked just fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 84

In slow motion

By Anonymous - 20/07/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I volunteered to take a group photo at a birthday dinner, backed up for the perfect angle, and sat directly in a bowl of guacamole. Everyone watched it happen like a slow motion accident. No one warned me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 284

You deserved it 132

In these times…

By Anonymous - 22/10/2025 22:00

Today, I found myself trying to use AI to edit the only photo I have of the man who was the love of my life. I'd like to look into his eyes again and remember that feeling again… FML

I agree, your life sucks 284

You deserved it 198

Modern life is rubbish

By Julie - 01/09/2026 15:00 - Germany

Today, I had much trouble backing an ultra modern VW moving van around a corner. Skill issue, you say? Well, yes: the car refused to let go of the brakes because there were a few blades of grass “blocking our way”. That mean-looking rock pile to the left, though, it trusted me to discover on my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 284

You deserved it 75

Obsessed

By Anonymous - 01/06/2026 15:00 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, my ex, whom I dumped in 2024 because she stopped caring about me or what I did, is stalking online someone I have just started dating. She went to her workplace, then called me to tell me I'm hers and she will never let "the other woman" take me from her. Not sure if I like the indifferent one or the jealous psycho less. FML

I agree, your life sucks 283

You deserved it 44

Not going back

By FHL too. - 02/09/2026 00:00 - Mexico

Today, I found my ex on Bumble for the second time. She lives with her husband, whom she married a decade ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 283

You deserved it 98

Oh, the humanity

By Anonymous - 11/11/2025 09:00

Today, I think there might be something wrong with my family's cell phone carrier or cell phones. They use Verizon, I use T-Mobile. They use iPhones, I use a Google Pixel 8a. On at least two separate occasions, my dad hasn't been able to get my text messages. I can't afford to switch carriers or get a new phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 283

You deserved it 97

Bad boy

By naughty boy - 09/10/2025 20:00

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my dog, hoping they’d get along. I told my boyfriend, “Don’t worry, he never jumps on anyone.” Immediately, my dog jumped, not onto my boyfriend but right into my lap, knocking my glass of red wine all over my trousers. My boyfriend patted the dog and said, “At least someone’s happy to see you.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 283

You deserved it 111

Get cracking

By Anonymous - 02/06/2026 22:00 - United States - Wilmington

Today, I arrived early in the morning at my job counting inventory, only to find that the scanner machines were still getting set up due to difficulties with WiFi. We ended up starting two hours late due to various technical issues, and I almost missed my sister's recital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 283

You deserved it 49

Sounds like a keeper

By Anonymous - 16/08/2026 12:00 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I was trying pillow talk with this guy I met at the bar that night. I’m thinking he’s going to say something cute, but he told me, "One time, I was bored, so I went to a liquor store and robbed an Asian man and put his bag over his head." I just wanted to pillow talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 283

You deserved it 138

Confusing

By Anonymous - 16/09/2026 00:00 - Malaysia - Kuala Lumpur

Today, a guy I liked is moving away. He gave me a flower, saying it was a farewell gift even though he's moving to my hometown where I'm also returning to. I was confused because while it wasn't a rose, this isn't common where we're from. He then told me he's been in love with our friend since their first conversation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 283

You deserved it 69

"The report of my death was an exaggeration"

By Luke Mackay - 03/05/2026 00:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I went to my local pub for a drink. There was a giant sign that read, “Welcome to Luke’s celebration of life.” My name is Luke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 111

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 18/06/2026 12:00 - United Kingdom - Exeter

Today, after my landlord announced a "surprise" apartment inspection, I spent the entire night cleaning every room, scrubbing the oven, and organizing closets. The inspector walked in, looked around for 20 seconds, checked for a smoke detector, then left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 184

Unstable weather

By Anonymous - 08/02/2026 15:00

Today, as a giant crowd of people and I had walked across a parking lot, I yelled out to a friend waiting in their car for me, "I DIDN'T FALL THIS TIME!" (I always fall when it's winter) to then literally taking a single step to slip and slide what felt like 20 feet to someone yelling out, "AND SAFE!" like an umpire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 176

Nobody Loves You (When You're Down and Out)

By Anonymous - 23/09/2026 03:00 - United States - Tucson

Today, I’m a good man, ready to settle down and build with a good woman, but no one wants to take a chance and build something with me because I'm temporarily living in a homeless shelter. That doesn’t make me unworthy or undeserving of love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 264

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, as I was driving back home from my grandma's, I looked over at the guy in the lane beside me, only to witness him with a sandwich between his teeth and his cock in his free hand. Now I know why I don't leave the city, or even drive, more often. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 395

You deserved it 4 534

Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 181

You deserved it 20 861

Random

Today, my boyfriend said he was no longer sexually attracted to me. He then followed that with, "But don't worry, it's not because you're fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 826

You deserved it 2 372

Today, a friend sent me a song. I didn't have time to listen to it all, so I listened to the first 30 seconds of it to get a feel for it. It was nice and uplifting, so I sent it to my mom. Turns out, after the first 30 seconds, the singer brightens his day by singing about his enormous penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 229

You deserved it 13 464

Today, after finally getting up the nerve to take my motorcycle to up 75 mph on the freeway, I made it off in one piece, only to fall off my bike in the mall parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 941

You deserved it 25 632

Today, I got a text from my dad asking about my car in the shop. I'm trying to show them that I can actually be independent, but now they know that not only will it cost all my savings account to fix it, but also that my boyfriend will be driving me to work for the next month while the shop waits for the parts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 676

You deserved it 162

Today, it's been 5 years since I started a relationship with a man who'd hidden he was impotent and I was too deep into the relationship to break it off. I accepted the sex without penetration. but since then his libido has dropped too, we have no sex, and he won't see a therapist. I'm looking up gigolos, but I can't bring myself to do it. I'm 42. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 404

You deserved it 489

Today, my thick-as-pig shit mother, who is both religious and almost illiterate, went through my room and threw away anything she thought would be immoral. She threw away Moby Dick because of the word Dick, yet ignored 50 Shades of Grey, because that’s how thick and ignorant she is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 148