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Let's get it on

By None of that means consent to sex - 08/04/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I told my husband that I didn't feel like sex. He said, "Funny, I didn't feel like driving to the store for your milkshake earlier, or digging up the flowerbed, or deep cleaning your car, but I did all that to make you happy. Don't I deserve a little reciprocation?" Jesus Christ, I married an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 227

You deserved it 1 477

Pleased to meet you

By Anonymous - 19/05/2026 22:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, it's been 3 days since I matched with someone online and have been crafting witty, charming messages. We finally agreed to meet, and the second I walked into the café, I realized he was the bartender who'd already seen me cry there after a breakup six months earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 227

You deserved it 197

I have no idea what I'm doing

By Jeff78 - 03/10/2025 15:00

Today, I pulled up to a drive-thru speaker and my brain misfired and I said, “Thanks, I love you!” to the employee after she handed me my order. She replied, “We just met, but okay dude.” I put my food on the passenger seat and quickly scuttled off in my busted ass Toyota. FML

I agree, your life sucks 225

You deserved it 272

Decisions, decisions

By Anonymous - 15/09/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, despite knowing that I should never trust "Doctor Google" I was doing some research into what I could do about my spinal stenosis and the labral tear. I'm now seriously confused because working on my hip could hurt my back, but focusing just on my back might cause my right side to deteriorate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 224

You deserved it 152

Birds of a feather

By Anonymous - 08/08/2026 09:00 - United States - Tampa

Today, my husband went to grab a DoorDash order while I decided to gift some cigarettes, some leftover pizza from lunch, and a few dollars to a sweet traveler. As I got back into the car, my husband said, "I was about to say 'Look a the homeless congregation', then I realized it was you and that lady." FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 99

Cheeky

By Anonymous - 01/01/2026 15:00

Today, I learned that my kids refer to my much older fiancé as my “Emotional support corpse.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 425

Islands in the stream [derogatory]

By Anonymous - 06/09/2026 12:00 - Türkiye

Today, I noticed that I hardly communicate with anyone anymore. Yet another friend has sent a random link to our Messenger conversation with, “It’s just to remind myself about it.” Apparently our friendships have evolved into using each other as bookmarks instead of actually talking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 94

Flexing

By Bastard - 20/07/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, my ex told me that he'd spent $5k on a "VIP Pass" for some kind of music festival next year. My son and I live in poverty and barely squeak by, and this bastard would rather be a rich festival bro than help. He's 36, why the fuck does he want to go to festivals now anyway? FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 425

You've got mail

By Anonymous - 10/04/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I got a write up from HR because the new boss says we have to check our e-mail everyday, and I missed checking my e-mail for one single day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 374

Naughty boy

By baddog - 22/08/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, my dog started barking during a work video call. I picked him up to prove he was harmless. He immediately sneezed directly into my face, then licked my mouth. My microphone was still on, and everyone heard me yell, “WHY?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 188

It's our house, bitch

By Scared - 16/02/2026 00:00

Today, I've been trying to train the cats not to sleep on the bed, which is hard because they all adore my husband. I woke up in the middle of the night to him sleeping on his stomach and all three lying on him, staring daggers at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 337

Hey buddy

By Anonymous - 24/09/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I left my apartment in a hurry and noticed my neighbor's cat sitting outside my door. I assumed he had escaped, so I spent 15 minutes trying to coax him back upstairs. My neighbor eventually opened her door and said, “He's waiting for me to leave.” Apparently, he does this every morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 221

You deserved it 85

Pranks are shit

By milk plz - 13/02/2026 12:00

Today, my wife got me back for hiding a realistic tarantula replica in her underwear drawer. She ground up hot peppers and horseradish and shoved it in my mouth while I slept. I woke up screaming in pain and went to the hospital before she confessed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 221

You deserved it 405

Better safe than sorry

By Anonymous - 14/11/2025 12:00

Today, I was going over my vaccinations when I spotted that I hadn't gotten my Covid vaccine since last year. Not a big deal, my doctor hadn't made a mention of it on the last visit, and I got my flu shot last month. At least it wouldn't be a big deal if my friend hadn't tested positive for Covid last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 220

You deserved it 300

Back to the 9 to 5

By Anonymous - 22/05/2026 12:00 - New Zealand - Palmerston North

Today, I got the biopsy results from a weird mole I had removed. It's completely harmless, and I have nothing to worry about. My first reaction was disappointment, because I'll have to keep going to work instead of starting cancer treatment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 220

You deserved it 294

Bastards!

By Anonymous - 09/09/2026 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, after good sex, we were lying in bed, just hugging and stroking each other, when the moment was ruined by a mosquito biting my nipple. I swatted it and we tried to get back to feeling good when another mosquito bit my husband right on the tip of his penis. Moment well and truly over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 220

You deserved it 76

Arm day

By Anonymous - 16/08/2026 09:00 - India - Hyderabad

Today, I went out on a second date with this girl, who touched my bicep when I told her I haven't been to the gym since a long time. She asked me to flex it, I did, and it remained the same size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 220

You deserved it 164

Trickster

By Anonymous - 14/07/2026 15:00 - United Kingdom - Bath

Today, at an annual summer family event, I showed my family a magic trick I'd practiced for weeks. The grand finale involved making a coin disappear. Instead, I launched it into my uncle's soup. He digged it out with his spoon, then looked at me and asked if it was for keeps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 219

You deserved it 190

Gloom and doom

By FTheWorld - 01/07/2026 20:00 - Germany

Today, there's a huge heat wave, all because corporations were reckless and accelerated climate change. Now, more people are buying more air conditioners, further worsening the climate crisis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 218

You deserved it 451

Make it stop

By Christ on.a bike - 21/12/2025 15:00

Today, I wore my Christmas sweater to work, one with lights sewn into it. Halfway through a meeting, they started flashing uncontrollably and playing tinny carols. I couldn’t turn them off. I had to go shove the whole sweater into a locker in the basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 217

You deserved it 317

Unrequited

By Cannneverwinsmh - 30/09/2025 15:00

Today, I once again listened as the girl I've loved for the past three years ranted about how she’s gonna be single forever and give up on dating. She asked, “Isn’t there one guy out there, just ONE GUY who will love me and cherish me?” When I brought up that I, once again, would love to do so, she rejected me; AGAIN. FML

I agree, your life sucks 216

You deserved it 615

Nutrition expert over here

By Dog - 02/01/2026 03:00

Today, as I fed my dog his dinner of chicken offal, a drumstick, a wing, a mackerel, and a raw egg, my dad bitched and moaned that I waste money feeding him meat instead of just buying the cheapest kibble at the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 216

You deserved it 365

It's not what you think

By Anonymous - 25/08/2026 15:00 - Costa Rica - Santa Cruz

Today, me (24) and my girlfriend (23) got ‘intimate’ on a private beach you can only get to by boat. Afterwards, she had to unironically put armbands on to swim back to boat just as another boat came by. I got called "Pedo!" multiple times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 216

You deserved it 90

Same as it ever was

By Anonymous - 01/05/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, at my high school reunion, my old bully tried to apologize but I told her to fuck off. She wouldn't leave me alone, so I purposely spilled my drink on her. I got kicked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 215

You deserved it 587

Oddly specific insomnia

By Anonymous - 05/09/2026 00:00 - United States - Detroit

Today, the power went out. Thankfully, it was early in the morning so I should've been able to sleep through it. Then I realized I have an impossible time sleeping during power outages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 215

You deserved it 91

Wild ride

By I'm not like that - 18/09/2026 00:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I got sick with a high fever. My boyfriend was so sweet and attentive, which I loved, until he said he wanted sex while I was feverish. Apparently, "fucking a girl who's running a fever feels amazing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 215

You deserved it 62

Who's the asshat in this scenario?

By Anonymous - 22/04/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, my mom told me that I will never see my siblings again because I refused to attend her wedding to another woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 214

You deserved it 885

Gooey mess

By Anonymous - 06/09/2026 09:00 - Switzerland

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a good time. Perfect. Afterwards, he stupidly tried to pull the condom off with way too much force. It burst everywhere, splattering our faces, the bed sheets, and even the wall. Absolute disaster. We just stared at each other and laughed. Never again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 97

Feed me

By hangry - 24/09/2026 15:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, after I packed my lunch last night and put it in the fridge, I grabbed my bag and left for work. At lunchtime, I opened it and found an empty container. I'd packed the container but left the food in the fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 144

Body issues

By Dating sucks - 22/09/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, a guy I know asked me out after me losing 75lbs. I declined because I don’t want to be with someone who only wants me for my body. I asked him, “Where was this energy two years ago when I was 75lbs heavier?” He replied, “Can you blame me?” And people wonder why us women choose the bear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 523

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The Top

Random

Today, I got fired from my childcare job of five years because the other staff weren't as popular with the kids, so they accused me of being "creepy" because the kids all wanted to play a game with me instead of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 348

You deserved it 1 627

Today, I realized how weak I truly am when I tore a muscle in my hand trying to discreetly fix a wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 669

You deserved it 6 569

Today, I held the door open for someone and he said, "Thank you!" I said, "Thank you!" back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 295

You deserved it 470

Today, my 14-year-old sister came into the bathroom while I was in it. When she saw me, she said sorry and left. Little did I know, she took my electric toothbrush to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 907

You deserved it 585

Today, I was going through different social media sites, laughing at the people from high school who’d either gotten fat or divorced or anything of the sort. Then I realized how sad it was to search out and still laugh at people from high school. I need to move on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 1 775

Today, and every time go I to the gym this guy follows me. A week ago, I saw him taking photos of me, so I left that gym and went to another one, but the creep was still there. What do I do? FML

I agree, your life sucks 962

You deserved it 129