Choose the period

Choose a category

Today, I got a Christmas present from my boss. It was an ab workout video. FML

by B / 12/18/2009 at 11:19am / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, we got CCTV fitted in our store. My lovely boss told me he'll be spending his free time watching the footage on his phone to know what I get up to when he's not in. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2015 at 2:19pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work

Today, my young stepdaughter decided that she should store her coins in my laptop's card reader slot and in the CD drive. I just bought the laptop last week. FML

by GidleyWife / 07/30/2015 at 1:22pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my idiot kid brother set my shirt on fire with a magnifying glass while I was taking a nap outside. FML

by girl on fire / 09/02/2015 at 8:32pm / Kids

Today, I was in pain due to overdoing it at the gym yesterday, so I thought a hot shower might help. Not only was there no hot water because of my sister's hour long showers, but I slipped getting out and hit my head. Now the pain is worse. FML

by bcoper / 02/20/2010 at 9:03am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure. The pedicurist began examining my feet, then called his coworkers over to demonstrate how to deal with "excessively crusty" feet. FML

by Crusty / 12/19/2012 at 3:53pm / Health

Today, I went to a dance and saw a really cute guy. Glow sticks were everywhere, so trying to be cute, I took a broken one and dripped some of the glowing liquid on my chest. It made him notice me, but only for him to point out that I'd managed to cut myself and was bleeding badly. FML

by Anonymous / 07/24/2013 at 12:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, after being annoyed one too many times by my students' whiney attitudes, I accidentally blurted out, "Quit being such a bitch," to the superintendent's daughter. FML

by MathTeacher / 05/02/2011 at 10:30am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, my boyfriend told me he loves me. Instead of saying it back, I had a panic attack. FML

by Paicked / 01/25/2012 at 7:33am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I had to carry a 25kg bag of cement to an elderly customer's car because she refused to use a cart. "You're paid to work, so I'm gonna make you work." FML

by I hate retail / 11/26/2015 at 9:26pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, my English teacher kicked me out of class for being "rude and disruptive." In actuality, I had called her out for having blatantly used Google Translate for several example sentences, all of which sounded as if a semi-literate foreigner had constructed them. FML

by hackshack / 06/08/2012 at 3:45pm / Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, I jumped under my desk in fear of a nuclear missile attack when the firestation next us let out its new awareness siren. I think I'm going insane. FML

by Insane Guy / 12/21/2012 at 1:47am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that just because I got my braces removed does not mean my painful mouth ulcers will stop. I now have them under my tongue. I can't even lick my lips. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2011 at 1:38am / United States (Alabama) / Health