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Today, there was a big party at my workplace. The only person that was socializing with me in any way was my co-workers 4-year-old daughter. Before leaving, she drew smiley faces on plastic plates and napkins and gave them to me so I "will have some friends and not be all alone". FML

by ForeverAlone / 09/22/2015 at 5:40pm / Ukraine / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend told me he loves me. Instead of saying it back, I had a panic attack. FML

by Paicked / 01/25/2012 at 7:33am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, a little girl walked up to me at Target and asked me what my name was. I smiled and told her my name was Kristen. She looked at the skirt I was wearing and said, "Kristen, can you wear pants tomorrow?" FML

by whattdafuuukkkk / 06/05/2012 at 7:56am / United States / Work

Today, I was participating in an exercise in my psychology class to describe this horrible looking person I had never seen before and I described the person as a "rebellious, drug dealing, lowlife". The person in that picture turned out to be my teacher. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2009 at 9:39am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a Christmas present from my boss. It was an ab workout video. FML

by B / 12/18/2009 at 11:19am / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, I was at a band practice. The band was talking to each other with language like "cadence", "resolution" and "consecutive fifths". When they spoke to me, they used terms like "tick", "bong", "ticky bong"; and "bongy tick". Musically, I feel like a baboon. FML

by Fredgruff / 01/09/2010 at 8:48am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, some muscle-head showed up at my house and started beating on me. Turned out my son had been posing online as a Navy SEAL, using a picture of me, and had dared this guy to come over and fight him. FML

by Anonymous / 03/02/2016 at 12:54pm / United States (Iowa) / Health

Today, I was in pain due to overdoing it at the gym yesterday, so I thought a hot shower might help. Not only was there no hot water because of my sister's hour long showers, but I slipped getting out and hit my head. Now the pain is worse. FML

by bcoper / 02/20/2010 at 9:03am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I discovered that just because I got my braces removed does not mean my painful mouth ulcers will stop. I now have them under my tongue. I can't even lick my lips. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2011 at 1:38am / United States (Alabama) / Health

Today, I learnt there's a woman who comes into my store only to hear my Barry White-like voice. My boss knows who it is, yet refuses to tell me because it's "hilarious." I'm now cautious of every customer. FML

by Anonymous / 01/30/2012 at 4:00am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I was on the phone with my senile grandma, when I told her I had to go because I had an appointment at the clinic. For some reason, she assumed I was talking about an abortion clinic, and started raging at me and calling me a murderer. FML

by Anonymous / 07/31/2015 at 11:39pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was just a few days away from starting the training for my promotion to management, which involved a healthy pay raise and full time benefits. Today, news came down that the company is filing for bankruptcy. FML

by Anonymous / 08/24/2015 at 2:59pm / United States / Work

Today, my idiot kid brother set my shirt on fire with a magnifying glass while I was taking a nap outside. FML

by girl on fire / 09/02/2015 at 8:32pm / Kids