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Today, my girlfriend got a Twitter account. Now she won't stop hashtagging everything she sends me. FML

#19811531
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18915) - you deserved it (2343)

On 06/19/2012 at 5:59am - misc - by Stu (man) - United States

Today, I tripped on the way back from collecting a prize in front of 600 students and their parents. I got more applause than I did when collecting the prize. FML

#19877317
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18914) - you deserved it (1934)

On 07/01/2012 at 7:03pm - misc - by plzdontclapme -

Today, after weeks of coming home to find my furniture all tipped over, thinking the place was haunted, and accepting my boyfriend's offers to come over and "comfort" me, I came home from work early. I found my boyfriend in the kitchen, kicking over all the chairs. FML

#20116490
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18912) - you deserved it (7792)

On 10/14/2012 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Estonia

Today, I accidentally dropped my phone in the toilet. I automatically dove my hand in and ran out of the stall with it. As I dried it, some girls were laughing. I assumed that they were laughing because my phone fell in the toilet. Then I noticed my pants were still down. FML

#790752
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18910) - you deserved it (38589)

On 04/03/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by tmac (woman) - United States

Today, I had a dream about the damn cappuccino machine at work. FML

#19170840
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18910) - you deserved it (3411)

On 02/26/2012 at 9:43pm - misc - by slickrick22 (man) - United States

Today, my mom put me in charge of her business's Facebook. Later, I was doing homework and took a Facebook break, changing my status to "So fucking boring." I'd forgotten to log out of the business account. FML

Today, I learned that just because the actual part of the pan that does touch the stove isn't hot doesn't mean that the handle won't give you third degree burns, a broken nose from passing out from the pain, and an expensive trip to the emergency room. FML

#20040720
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18906) - you deserved it (5957)

On 08/25/2012 at 9:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was feeling down about being the only single person out of a group of eight friends. Out of desperation, I made up "Jonny", a hot fitness instructor whom I recently hooked up with. Now "Jonny" and I have been invited to a friends' night out. FML

#20659041
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18898) - you deserved it (69124)

On 05/12/2013 at 5:09pm - love - by forever alone - United Kingdom

Today, I shaved my head because I heard that one of my good friends got cancer. I went to visit her in the hospital. She's not bald. FML

#15907460
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18896) - you deserved it (54277)

On 04/24/2011 at 10:06am - health - by nohair (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like his grandma's house. FML

#19477089
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18895) - you deserved it (4529)

On 04/16/2012 at 2:53am - misc - by hdgyfjdzdfg (woman) - United States

Today, I got stuck in the bathroom with no toilet paper. I had to reach into my small trash can and use soiled toilet paper to clean myself. When I went to flush the toilet, I noticed three unused rolls of toilet paper sitting on the counter. FML

Today, I was showing my boyfriend some stuff I bought that day: a new thong and a bag of his favorite brand of peanuts. He was more excited about the peanuts. FML

#20053819
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18894) - you deserved it (4527)

On 09/02/2012 at 9:38am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found one of my roommate's giant yellow toenail clippings on the counter next to the kitchen sink. When I confronted him about it, he told me the cat must have carried it out of his bedroom and put it there. FML

#19200408
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18892) - you deserved it (1766)

On 03/02/2012 at 12:46am - misc - by Peach - United States (New Hampshire)



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