The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year

The all-time greatest FMLs

They hated her because she spoke the truth

By Anonymous - 21/08/2021 06:01

Today, I threw a pillow at my 8 year-old cousin while play-fighting. She gave me a look, then muttered, "You don't have any girlfriends and the girls that talk to you probably have no taste." FML

I agree, your life sucks 793

You deserved it 120

They'll be back

By Anonymous - 19/01/2023 22:00 - Australia

Today, it's been about 4 months since my partner and I spent all our savings to open a board game shop. We found that most people were interested in D&D, and so we stupidly decided to put most of our eggs in one basket, and send about 75% of our other stock back. Guess what everyone decided to boycott last week? FML

I agree, your life sucks 793

You deserved it 363

John Wick

By Jessica - 15/02/2023 10:00

Today, my boyfriend invited a quiet guy in a suit to "step outside", all because he thought, wrongly, that he was trying to chat me up. Quiet guy declines, and my boyfriend called him chickenshit. Quiet guy and boyfriend step outside; boyfriend spends the next 5 minutes getting beaten up. I had to take him to hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 793

You deserved it 373

Snitched

By Anonymous - 10/02/2024 21:00

Today, I caught a grubby, evil-smelling, foul-mouthed woman blatantly shoplifting by stuffing electronics into her coat pockets, so I detained her and called the police. Less than an hour later I was fired. She was the shop owner's mother and “had permission” to just take stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 793

You deserved it 113

Wait til you're 50

By Seriously - 08/01/2023 11:00 - United States

Today, I've reached the age where I get really dizzy and my vision blurs if I stand up too fast. I'm 19 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 793

You deserved it 224

Like a dog

By Jick - 26/02/2023 14:00

Today, I was outside when I was suddenly overcome by an intense need to shit. The back door was locked, so I tried to run to the front, but couldn't make it. As I squatted in the bushes, my girlfriend came home unexpectedly. She screamed and called me a sick, disgusting freak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 793

You deserved it 298

By adieu Barbie - 03/05/2016 06:43 - Netherlands - Den Haag

Today, I’m a babysitter for a 4 year-old little girl. All afternoon, I attended Barbie’s murder and subsequent funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 793

You deserved it 92

Sorry dad

By janess - 09/03/2021 11:00

Today, I forgot my father’s birthday. My father means the world to me, I just have a shit memory. FML

I agree, your life sucks 793

You deserved it 434

Life imitates art

By Oh my goodness - 26/09/2022 15:00 - United States

Today, I was lying on the couch when saw the Airheads commercial where a jump-roping construction worker falls and lands on his nuts and says, in a deadpan tone, "Oh my goodness." A few minutes later, my cat jumped from the table and landed on my nuts, and I said, "Oh my goodness" with the very same inflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 297

Disproportionate response

By pick up after your dog you lazy piece of shit! - 09/06/2023 00:00

Today, having such terrible social anxiety and being terrified of confrontation, I confided in my apartment's maintenance man about my neighbor not picking up her dog’s poop. He assured me he’d handle it. He reported her to the leasing office, and now she and her kids are getting evicted. I feel bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 293

Tact

By FalkensLabyrinth - 03/02/2021 19:57 - United States - Gardner

Today, my mother offered to give my overweight girlfriend the workout DVDs that she no longer needs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 215

Sibling rivalry

By Anonymous - 14/07/2023 00:02 - Switzerland - Zollikerberg

Today, I finally had an opportunity to flirt with the guy I have a crush on. We danced together all night and everything was going well… too well apparently, because out of nowhere, he kissed my sister, who knew about my crush on him but still kissed him back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 153

What the hell?

By Mili - 27/05/2022 04:00

Today, I got to hear from my coworkers that my marriage to my partner won’t last long because I found and married him in tech school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 107

Gobble gobble

By Anonymous - 04/08/2021 00:01

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why he shouldn't take drugs from strangers. I'm 35 and he's 34. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 141

High risk

By Anonymous - 01/12/2022 22:00 - Germany - Dresden

Today, I unthinkingly did something dangerous and now I have a painful kink in my neck. What dangerous thing did I do? I yawned. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 113

Racist taxi drivers dot com

By Anonymous - 30/07/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, I had to endure an awful taxi ride. He got me to my destination perfectly and on time, but spewed a racist rant about how, "all Indians are scammers" and how, "the Chinese should get out" the entire time. Then the taxi app had the audacity to ask for a rating. 5 stars? I don't think so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 225

Stuck

By Anonymous - 25/03/2021 20:01

Today, my grandma and her neighbor compared their sports bras in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 123

These guys

By Anonymous - 01/01/2023 03:00

Today, my girlfriend of two years finally agreed to marry me. As I went on with the proposal, her Grandma tried rejecting me by saying, "These guys have gangster friends." FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 147

Don't touch me, bitch

By Grace - 14/11/2020 23:02

Today, I found out that when you try to pick up my cat, its response is to let out the most stinky fart it can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 226

By anonyme62 - 13/04/2015 09:51 - Cameroon - Ringo

Today, straight after we had sex, my boyfriend went to the bathroom. He stayed in there for a long time, but as I also needed to go, I went to check on him. He was trying to urinate into the condom, “just to see what it was like.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 93

What does it all mean?

By Anonymous - 20/10/2022 16:00

Today, I once again realized that I have no idea what I am supposed to do in this life, and don't know what to do with myself. I just live because that's the easiest thing to do, and try to entertain myself while searching for meaning. The meaning to my life; what I should pursue. I've been searching for a long time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 299

Go get an Xray, dude

By WaychulMonster - 17/07/2022 04:00

Today, I was on autopilot, walking out of the bathroom, and separated my pinky toe from the rest of my toes over the door frame. I dropped to the ground in pain, and my toe and half my foot still hurts hours later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 166

Recycle this!

By Anonymous - 07/05/2021 00:01

Today, I ordered and paid for a compost bin to be emptied in addition to the garbage. Turns out most of what I wanted to put in there – although perfectly compostable – is not allowed in the bin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 181

TikTok influencers grind my gears

By ThisIsYourDoc - 31/05/2023 22:00

Today, a patient explained to me what treatment he thought I was supposed to give him by showing me a TikTok video. For one, I'm a surgeon, not a dentist, but even if I was, I wouldn't do root canal treatments at 2 a.m. in an emergency room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 79

Sensitive

By fragile - 06/07/2022 14:00

Today, the reality of how shattered my mental health is truly hit me when I spent ten minutes crying after a bot beat me at a card game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 260

Nice guy

By Guineapig98 - 03/10/2023 04:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I asked my boyfriend of 5 years when he was going to propose to me because I wasn’t getting any younger. He responded with, “Well, ask yourself are you getting any skinnier? I need a trophy wife, you know?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 364

Slight overreaction

By GiGib - 08/11/2023 06:00

Today, during my sister’s baby shower, my 3 year-old daughter choked on a piece of food. My sister got upset because this apparently attracted a lot of attention from the other guests, and called my daughter an “attention whore” for “choosing today of all days to make a damn scene.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 139

Tasty snack

By Anonymous - 08/04/2023 05:30 - Australia - Adelaide CBD

Today, I used the “Find My…” app to locate a missing AirPods. Good news: I found them. Bad news: they are inside my dog’s belly. Next stop: Emergency vet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 180

What logic is that?

By Anonymous - 01/07/2022 16:00

Today, my parents lectured me on whether it was a good idea to let my girlfriend stay at the home of her ex boyfriend… and his husband. I’m 44 and trust her. My parents didn’t trust this logic and doubled down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 318

Meddling

By Anonymous - 26/03/2023 19:00 - United States - Pomona

Today, I was sitting in math class taking notes on my laptop when my mom texted me, asking why I wasn’t in class. She has my location for security purposes. I’m 19 and in college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 142

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 868

You deserved it 360

Today, my brother and I took our cars to get oil changes. While we were there, a guy asked if we were dating. When we told him we were siblings, he responded with, "So?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 202

You deserved it 4 375

Today, I was walking through the mall with my husband. We came across a guy who was selling some weight loss pills. He tried to sell me some and I kindly declined. He told me not to deny my weight problems. Thanks. I'm 7 months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 817

You deserved it 2 815

Today, after applying for a promotion to a position which I've been working my ass off for two years to get, my managers thought it would be appropriate to discuss other applicants in front of me, even asking me to compare my resume with theirs to see the "caliber" of what I'm up against. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 756

You deserved it 2 200

Today, after a costly fix for my brakes that failed a while back as I was going down a hill, I found a $130 bill in the mail attached to a speed camera photo of me shitting myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 742

You deserved it 4 102

Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 617

You deserved it 4 122