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Today, my mum got the idea of switching to a different dishwashing detergent. The new one is so strong that it coats all the dishes in a nauseating perfume-like smell. It's so pungent that it gets absorbed into everything we eat or drink. She's determined to use up the entire bottle. FML

#20508218
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27596) - you deserved it (2204)

On 02/15/2013 at 1:50pm - health - by selena5112 (woman) - Norway (Troms)

Today, I got a weird feeling about the account balance in my savings account. Turns out my fiancé has been using my account to order random items whenever he likes. This account is my savings for college tuition and related expenses. FML

#13360186
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27595) - you deserved it (5171)

On 10/07/2010 at 10:58pm - money - by udnrizh - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to a wine tasting for the first time. I copied the experienced people around me by swishing the wine around in my mouth, which I then choked on and spit out all over my white blouse. FML

#21400331
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27595) - you deserved it (9589)

On 04/26/2015 at 11:12pm - misc - by rookiemistake (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd get more money from the tooth fairy. FML

#21414342
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27595) - you deserved it (3470)

On 05/23/2015 at 7:06am - kids - by DENTALITY (woman) - Norway

Today, due to a health insurance mix up, my schizophrenic girlfriend has been off her meds for a little over a week. She's convinced I can read her mind, and if I don't stop "pretending" she'll slit my throat in my sleep. Her medication won't be available for at least another two weeks. FML

#20159457
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27594) - you deserved it (2575)

On 11/11/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend if she thinks I have a big package. She replied that she didn't want to upset me and get into another fight. FML

#20485057
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27594) - you deserved it (39364)

On 01/29/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by notsobig - United States

Today, I started getting really bad chest pains at work. I googled it and the internet convinced me I was having a heart attack. Scared for my life, I started to dial for an ambulance when I let out the biggest fart you could ever imagine. Turns out it was trapped gas. FML

#21397265
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27594) - you deserved it (10203)

On 04/21/2015 at 3:55am - health - by Not dying. (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, the job search agency that I use asked me to stop sending in my resume, as no one had hired me in three years, and that the situation was unlikely to change. FML

#17862767
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27593) - you deserved it (3622)

On 09/29/2011 at 10:32am - work - by crushed (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I caught my boyfriend trying on my bra. He still has no excuse. FML

#19023542
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27592) - you deserved it (4009)

On 02/08/2012 at 12:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I found out that my Mum has spent the money she's been saving for my wedding on moving house. She called saving for a wedding for me a 'pointless cause' as it's probably never going to happen now. I'm only 22. FML

#14552132
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27591) - you deserved it (3611)

On 01/12/2011 at 8:14am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML

#19440053
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27591) - you deserved it (3144)

On 04/09/2012 at 10:51pm - health - by emoflowers - United States (Texas)

Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML

#20134692
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27590) - you deserved it (6460)

On 10/26/2012 at 8:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find what I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was like a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, my anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML

#21378385
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27590) - you deserved it (3413)

On 03/20/2015 at 12:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)



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