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Today, I let my friend borrow my car. She parked it in a towing zone, and it was towed. The best part is, it was towed by a bogus towing company. The cops assure me it's safe in a chop shop somewhere. FML

#14716364
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25002) - you deserved it (4139)

On 01/26/2011 at 12:07am - misc - by pedestrian (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boss reprimanded me in front of the rest of the staff for "not following instructions" because I went to a company meeting. I have the email from him telling me to go to the meeting. He thinks I faked it. Unemployment sucks. FML

#20036858
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25000) - you deserved it (1523)

On 08/23/2012 at 1:24am - work - by BrokeButSmart - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to the doctor to talk about my depression and low self-esteem. He told me that I shouldn't think of myself as a fat pig for being overweight. I don't think that and I'm NOT overweight. FML

#3462
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24999) - you deserved it (3114)

On 01/29/2009 at 5:46pm - health - by Coley - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, to prevent a fistfight at work, I had to mediate a contested debate between two coworkers on what was evidently a very touchy subject: Which is better, the orange creamsicle or the ice cream sandwich? I was the only one to get in trouble for wasting company time. FML

#14917539
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25001) - you deserved it (4278)

On 02/10/2011 at 12:31am - work - by geoduck - United States

Today, a very attractive man asked me out. I'd have been flattered if I weren't the nurse assigned to his laboring wife. FML

#20086071
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24999) - you deserved it (1471)

On 09/24/2012 at 12:32am - misc - by Hello Nurse (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom started dipping into my college savings, just so she can continue throwing money away on visiting a medium who claims she can channel the spirit of our recently-deceased family dog. FML

#19472692
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24996) - you deserved it (1745)

On 04/15/2012 at 1:38pm - animals - by really mom (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working the dart game at my local amusement park when a couple paid to play. They were highly intoxicated, and they thought the object of the game was to hit me with the darts. FML

Today, I got mauled by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles. FML

#7989901
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24994) - you deserved it (5238)

On 02/07/2010 at 10:19pm - animals - by zzdug (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got on an empty tram and decided to sit at the back. A few minutes in I start to hear a noise and thinking it was the tram, decided to ignore it. When I heard what sounded like an evil giggle, I looked around to see that it wasn't the tram, but it was some creepy middle aged man taking photos of me. FML

#8891257
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24993) - you deserved it (2088)

On 03/07/2010 at 11:29am - misc - by tramrider - United Kingdom (Greater London)

Today, my doctor told me that the reason I'm losing my eyesight is because I'm straining my eyes, and that the best thing for me to do is to limit my time in front of computers. I spent years in college to get my current job which involves sitting in front of computers. FML

#18111169
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24993) - you deserved it (2301)

On 10/30/2011 at 12:31pm - health - by comedybreak - United States (California)

Today, I spent a half hour trying to help my cat down after he got stuck in the tree on my lawn. I finally gave up and called a local tree care company to help. When I returned outside, I found my cat casually walking about by the door. The guy who showed up to help was not happy. FML

#21341011
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24993) - you deserved it (4757)

On 01/20/2015 at 3:24pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML

#13975115
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24991) - you deserved it (6927)

On 11/25/2010 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, I changed my phone number because my old one belonged to a prostitute. My new one belongs to a debtor. FML

#13835312
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24990) - you deserved it (2567)

On 11/14/2010 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)



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