School, Students and Education: Hello? - FML

Hello?

By Anonymous - 16/01/2021 04:01 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, my friend's phone rang in class and my teacher thought it was me, so now I have detention for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 776

You deserved it 81

School Students Education

Dementia or hate? You decide

Hiding from the drama

Get vaccinated, you doofuses

But mah grandbabiiiiiiiiez

By Anonymous - 20/10/2021 02:00

Today, my mother found out that my fiancée broke up with her last boyfriend because she didn't want kids and he did. She's now demanding that I either change her mind, or call things off with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 826

You deserved it 104

By Mayo - 04/12/2018 13:30

Today, I met one of my favorite fitness models. She told me I need to get in shape. I weigh 150lbs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 354

You deserved it 401

By allalone - 14/07/2010 00:33 - United States

Spicy

Today, I put the vacuum cleaner hose against my neck to give me a hickey, so that it would look like I got some action. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 289

You deserved it 45 298

By Anonymous - 27/09/2012 23:09 - Vietnam - Ho Chi Minh City

Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend of a month has a new girlfriend. That girl is my cousin, the same one who's been listening to my tears fall as I've confided my feelings to her for the past few weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 566

You deserved it 2 599

By sadgirl - 24/08/2019 09:00 - United States - Edmond

Today, I brought my boyfriend home to meet my family. The first thing my mom said to him was, “Oh, you can do so much better. Like a paint huffer or a crack whore.” She was serious, and my entire family nodded in agreement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 808

You deserved it 164

By WhyMe - 09/04/2017 22:00

Today, at work, a customer was staring at me for a long time. Hoping to break the awkwardness, I asked him what brought him to the store today. He complimented me on my friendly demeanor and then followed up with: "Since you're so friendly, how about coming in the bathroom with me and giving me a hand?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 124

You deserved it 351

By Confused - 13/05/2013 14:39 - United States - Bath

Today, I was told I would not be getting the job I was offered because I failed my drug test. They never gave me a drug test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 539

You deserved it 3 121

By Anonymous - 10/03/2012 07:23 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 969

You deserved it 59 142

NDA FML

By Anonymous - 12/11/2021 16:00 - United States - Corpus Christi

Today, a coworker told me something I didn't realize was confidential, until later when my boss called me, saying someone may have shared something confidential with me, and me, not thinking so, said I don't think anyone did. We hung up, they called back and elaborated, and it dawned on me now they think I'm a liar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 747

You deserved it 142

By Anonymous - 09/04/2012 22:32 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 543

You deserved it 2 981

By lovedoesnotexist - 24/09/2015 11:52 - Belgium

Today, my long-term girlfriend broke up with me because my hair "falls out" and I "will definitely be bald soon", even though it's not that bad. The same girl who I supported through her chemotherapy and gave her promises that I would stay with her no matter how she looked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 430

You deserved it 1 952

Real housewives

By restraining orders are just paper - 20/03/2021 23:00

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. The constant harassment, threats and stalking by my ex-wife have finally driven her away. This is the third time this has happened. My ex physically beat the other two up, and now she’s scared away the one I wanted to marry. The courts have done nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 789

You deserved it 100

By thatsillegal - 30/01/2009 22:57 - United States

Today, I found out that my assistant is now my manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 450

You deserved it 3 072

By KatieElizabeth - 27/10/2013 04:57 - United States - San Francisco

Today, at work, I had a customer accuse me of taking the giftcard I had issued her for her return, after spending 15 minutes trying to fix her screwed up transaction. She began to yell, and follow me around the store. Security had to intervene and I had to be locked in an office until she left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 451

You deserved it 2 717

By For - 28/12/2009 14:00 - United States

Today, I asked my husband if he thought I was pretty. He replied "compared to what?" He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 600

You deserved it 6 981

By Da Boss - 05/10/2016 01:19 - Canada - Calgary

Today, my coworker and I agreed to come clean and tell our fellow employees that we have been secretly dating for a while. Before we could, I received a promotion. I am now his boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 851

You deserved it 1 895

By assholedad - 11/02/2015 21:00 - United States

Today, I asked my dad to please shave his awful beard, because I'm a laughing-stock at school for being picked up each day by a guy whose face looks like Bigfoot's ass. He agreed, and 10 minutes later was sporting a pedo-stache. It's going to be a long year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 182

You deserved it 10 803

Freak out

By Lee - 05/07/2021 16:01 - United States

Today, my cat had a long dingleberry hanging off his butt. He decided the best way to get rid of it was to freak out and run around the house, shaking shit everywhere. To make it worse, he then licked his still shit covered butt, made a face and promptly threw up. Guess my cat isn’t the brightest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 149

By humiliated - 26/02/2010 10:21 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was finally hooking up with a girl I was after for a long time.Things got really hot and heavy but she stopped and looked at me weird. She said, "I can't do it, you're really wet. It looks like chicken fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 785

You deserved it 4 015

Tough one

By Anonymous - 11/11/2021 05:00

Spicy

Today, after I recently jabbed in the spine by a nail, cracking the bone and causing some spinal cord damage, I can now still walk, but I'm now incapable of getting an erection, potentially forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 703

You deserved it 72

By P0wned - 29/09/2009 21:21 - France

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 891

You deserved it 5 249

By I don't know, son - 16/11/2013 01:53 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 767

You deserved it 4 764

By Anonymous - 30/08/2010 06:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told everyone I queef during sex. Even his parents are calling me "Cooter Pooter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 772

You deserved it 6 911

By jaci - 24/07/2016 15:27 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I went downstairs to get a drink and overheard my grandparents talking about me. They spent a good 15 minutes double-team attacking me for my failings as a human being, mainly me not being married with children yet. I'm barely 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 995

You deserved it 1 126

By Ferniferousfern - 20/08/2018 18:30

Today, I sat down to use the bathroom after a long day of work. My toilet, however, had other plans, as a spontaneous, ear shattering crack flooded the entire bathroom, soaking the outer carpet and shorting out my bathroom scale. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 891

You deserved it 129

They targeted gamers!

By Merry F-ing birthmas - 20/12/2020 11:01 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, as he has all day for the last 3 days, my husband has been playing Cyberpunk 2077. However, it's my birthday. When I mentioned this fact, I was told to just walk the 4 miles to the store and buy a cake, "if it matters so much." I have celiac and he spent our grocery money on the game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 577

You deserved it 324

By Embarassed - 15/03/2011 19:29 - United States

Today, while at a school anti-drugs assembly, the speaker asked everyone to stand up if they knew someone who had died of an overdose. As I stood up, my friend hit me in the side, making me laugh. I stood frozen under accusing glares while the speaker bitched me out for a good 5 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 347

You deserved it 12 715

By cockalicious - 01/03/2011 05:29

Today, my boyfriend let me know he wanted me to leave by repeatedly jabbing me with my car keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 648

You deserved it 5 012

By Me - 05/01/2010 07:16 - France

Today, I was rejected for a job I really wanted, they said I didn't have enough experience. I designed the systems they are implementing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 720

You deserved it 2 059

By itwasajoke - 25/12/2016 21:23

Today, I ran into an old friend for whom I used to have feelings. I hadn't seen her in years, so I thought it would be funny if I went up to her and said, "Hey, you look familiar, do I know you?" She thought I had really forgotten her and burst into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 381

You deserved it 2 313

Romance is dead

By Anonymous - 08/06/2021 10:59

Spicy

Today, my husband seems to think sex once a month is adequate, and that it’s acceptable to nap on the sofa once he gets home from work, wake up for dinner, then go straight to bed. I also can’t speak to him while he’s eating, because he’s watching tv. I thought I had a husband, not a roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 266

You deserved it 162

Inappropriate

By Pandistoteles - 14/04/2015 21:17 - United States

Today, I took my 5-year-old daughter to the play place at McDonald's but I had to keep her busy, instead of letting her play. A mom was teaching her 3-year-old daughter how to pole dance, using the play place's poles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 437

You deserved it 2 715

Is this guy Hugh Hefner?

By Gold diggerzzzzzzz - 15/03/2021 13:01 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad is getting married for the 4th time. First it was my mom, then as they got older, he married a woman 10 years his junior, then his third wife was my age and 28 years his junior. Now at the grand old age of 64, he is marrying a 22 year old, 42 years his junior, almost 2 decades younger than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 145

You deserved it 87

This is a robbery

By Anonymous - 30/07/2012 20:02 - Ukraine - Kiev

Today, I was walking to the movie theatre with my boyfriend, when three guys muscled over and told us to hand over our phones. My boyfriend didn't waste any time pushing past me and running like hell, leaving me in tears and almost having a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 155

You deserved it 3 055

By awalc - 20/12/2011 17:48 - United States

Today, I woke up with Skittles super glued to my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 684

You deserved it 6 026

Great customer service, thanks!

By Eli Maldonado - 29/05/2021 17:01

Today, I called customer service for my phone. We talked for a while and the man was very nice to me. Too nice. Right before hanging up, he said, “Have a good day ma’am!” He was flirting the whole time and I didn’t realize it, and he didn’t that I’m a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 132

By NotTakenYet - 05/10/2018 22:05

Today, my mom said she ran into some old coworkers and they asked about me. She was surprised they remembered me, as we only met once. The reason they remembered me is because I fell down the stairs at their house when I was 11. That was 15 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 468

You deserved it 248

By Anonymous - 21/05/2010 12:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that I'm named after my dad's favourite drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 389

You deserved it 4 551

By believe me now?? - 22/01/2016 20:55 - United Kingdom - Ilkeston

Today, my girlfriend read an FML by some guy about fight he had with his nutjob of a girlfriend. It was so bizarrely similar to a fight we had recently that she accused me of not having any balls and bitching about her to strangers. It wasn't even my story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 624

You deserved it 2 047

By Jarool - 12/05/2014 19:41 - Canada - Red Deer

Today, my wife got all excited when she saw the elevator we were in had a feature to make it go sideways. I didn't have the heart to tell her they were the buttons to open and close the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 559

You deserved it 6 600

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Top comments

szy 7

Saturday 16 January 2021 18:37

Or he could've showed the teacher his phone log, which would've proved that his phone hadn't rang.

Send a private message

Sunday 17 January 2021 5:24

Loyalty at its finest :(

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Send a private message

Saturday 16 January 2021 16:20

Why didn't you rat out your so-called "friend?" Is it better to be a martyr than a snitch?

szy 7

Saturday 16 January 2021 18:37

Or he could've showed the teacher his phone log, which would've proved that his phone hadn't rang.

RichardPencil 30

Send a private message

Saturday 16 January 2021 18:59

You can delete calls from your log. All the teacher would learn is that you know how to use that function.

szy 7

Sunday 17 January 2021 0:31

By that logic, even if he ratted out his friend, he couldn't have proved it was their phone that rang. But, supposedly, the teacher dished out the punishment right after she heard a phone ringing, so OP wouldn't have had a chance to delete any calls from his log.

Send a private message

Sunday 17 January 2021 5:24

Loyalty at its finest :(

Send a private message

Sunday 17 January 2021 16:47

Doesn't your phone have a call log to show you didn't just get a call?

Send a private message

Sunday 17 January 2021 17:01

Wouldn't it have been easy enough to have someone check your ringtone or something?

Nearly

Today I ripped my lovely £50 coat on barbed wire, what I only worn a hand full of times, ended up having to spend £10 to get it repaired, have to wait till Friday to pick it up, it’s only Tuesday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 4

Today, a tech came to repair my cracked phone screen. He told me to remove my case and took it to his van in my driveway to fix it. Thirty minutes later, he rings my doorbell and hands me my phone back. He says he fixed the screen but tripped and dropped it walking back to my house, and completely shattered the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 4

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I spent all day waiting for an unlikely follow up text from the girl from Tinder I let peg me on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 271

You deserved it 722

Today, I swear I'm off men for good after my latest dud date wanted me to pee on his chest to turn him on, and we were only 20 minutes into the first date. The entire male gender are disgusting pigs, no matter how nice they pretend to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 818