By Anonymous - 16/1/2021 04:01 - United States - Milwaukee

Hello?

Today, my friend's phone rang in class and my teacher thought it was me, so now I have detention for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

757

Messed up

BO Central

Freshman blues

By kbrider - United States

Today, my husband's rich aunt and uncle came in town and handed us an envelope and said we hope this helps out with the student loans. Inside the envelope was just an article on new student loan procedures and how to get lower payments. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47086

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9154

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By psd60 - United States - San Antonio

Today, my dog died and I told my grandfather I wanted her to be cremated. I came home later to find him burning her in our barbecue pit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39230

You deserved it

4181

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By loser - United States

Today, while in class, a cute boy came up and asked me for my number. I giggled and wrote my phone number on a piece of paper and told him to call me sometime. He gave me a weird look and walked away. He was asking which number math problem I needed help with. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13447

You deserved it

34737

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By UH-OH - United States

Today, I sat next to an attractive punk/rock guy on a plane. I decided to try to impress by playing music I thought he would like. I clicked The Who and opened a large window with the album cover, so he could see. The track then shuffled, and he was face to with a giant image of Miley Cyrus. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17684

You deserved it

117372

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By Anon - United States - Southbury

Today, I was racing my friends to the car for shotgun in the parking lot at night. I opened the passenger door of the car to find an old lady staring at me. It was the wrong car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15274

You deserved it

35511

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By cduttl1230 - United States

Today, after getting my appendix taken out, we had to drive over five sets of railroad tracks. Then, my four year old brother decided to punch me in the stomach because, "I took away his mommy for two days." FML

I agree, your life sucks

46984

You deserved it

3318

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By srs

Today, my parents yelled at me for coming home drunk from a party last night. They said I couldn't hang out with my best friend anymore as he's a "bad influence". He was the only one sober in our group and drove me home safely. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2976

You deserved it

478

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By anonymous_0505 - Russian Federation

Today, my boyfriend ditched me, saying he had some important things to do. When I checked on him a while later, I found out what was so "important". A game called Robot Unicorn Attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29759

You deserved it

9448

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, a month after my final bout of intimacy with the stage five clinger who's been borderline stalking me since high school, she called to tell me I'm going to be a father. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14399

You deserved it

62839

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By buses suck - United States - San Francisco

Today, I regret asking my neighbor to turn down his music last night. When I left for work, I found his car parked so close to mine that I couldn't squeeze between them. His wife's was parked the same way on the other side. They wouldn't answer their door and I ended up being late to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26349

You deserved it

2218

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By Anonymous - United States - Kokomo

Today, at work, my boss made me go outside and wash people's cars for free. I work at Verizon. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46610

You deserved it

4429

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By AnxietyGirl - United States - Parker

Today, I had to admit that I desperately need anti-anxiety medication. Apparently, when you walk around a grocery store avoiding eye contact and generally acting "sketchy", management will call the police on you, who will then pat you down to be sure you aren't shoplifting. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22509

You deserved it

2533

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By Phobic_fml

Today, I saw the engagement announcement for the girl I've been in love with for 10 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1449

You deserved it

830

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By keenan - United States

Today, I had to use my driver's license to convince the security guard at a game room that I was a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32952

You deserved it

5177

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By Anonymous - United States

Anyone for cake?

Today, it was my boyfriend's mom's surprise birthday party. I was sent to pick up the very expensive cake and dozens of balloons. Not only was it windy and the balloons flew away, I tripped and dropped the cake. In the driveway in front of all their family and friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45535

You deserved it

7869

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By Robert - United States - North Pole

Today, my high school speech therapist introduced me to the other autistic kid in school without fully informing either of us. We got into a fist fight because we each thought the other guy was imitating us. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4841

You deserved it

664

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By hungry - United States - Waverly

Today, my husband offered to do the weekly grocery shopping. Because he has never done the shopping before, I made him a list of what we needed and other optional foods to give him an idea of what to get. He came back with a week's worth of ramen noodles and 2 litres of soda. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14926

You deserved it

2183

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By Anonymous - United States - Richmond

Today, as a volunteer tutor, I met up with a girl who needed help with calculus. When I introduced myself, she wrinkled up her face and said, "I'd hoped you'd be hotter." FML

I agree, your life sucks

33655

You deserved it

2768

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By Alwayshappens2me - United States

Today, I learned that even when you put a sock on the door because you are having sex with your boyfriend, doesn't mean your mom won't walk in your brand new apartment for a "surprise visit." FML

I agree, your life sucks

42243

You deserved it

10452

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By Muon66 - 11/6/2021 03:59

Disappointing

Today, I showed my 5-year-old son a photo with a ginger cat and her 6 newborn kittens. I forgot to tell my son the cat mom is not the male ginger cat at home, despite them looking exactly same. His excitement became deep sorrow and a tantrum when he figured out that we didn't get half a dozen kittens. FML

I agree, your life sucks

287

You deserved it

416

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By anonymous - United States - Katy

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

62551

You deserved it

7368

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By combo - France

Today, I was chatting with my boyfriend and his mates barefoot on the grass. I suddenly felt something flick across my feet, so I let out a startled scream. Turns out it was my toe hairs rustling in the breeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8948

You deserved it

27449

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By Anonymous - 1/5/2021 00:56 - United States - Schertz

Hey y'all!

Today, a friend was over at my house. My dad walks over and talks to me; I respond. He then goes back in his room. My friend then says, "Don’t get self-conscious, but when you talk to your dad, your southern accent gets REALLY strong." Guess who's now self-conscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks

672

You deserved it

116

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By 12345678910 - United States - Buffalo

Today, my drunk mom kicked me out of my own birthday party, calling me a "party-pooper" and saying I was killing everyone's buzz. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43914

You deserved it

4301

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By unprofessional - United States - Portland

Today, I filled out an online application for a internship. I didn't have all the info I need to complete it, but it wouldn't let me leave anything blank so to move along I filled in crap answers. I pressed "Save". It sent my draft in. I now have to explain that "Jesus" isn't actually my reference. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17921

You deserved it

24320

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By Anonymous - Australia - Brunswick

Today, I ran into a new guy at work who told me the regional manager was visiting today to evaluate the staff. I scoffed and said that everything I'd heard about the manager made him seem like a total prick. His reply? "Maybe, but I'm a prick who can FIRE people." FML

I agree, your life sucks

10269

You deserved it

27025

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By nomwar - United States

Today, I went to a new bar with friends. After arriving I became extremely gassy; I planned a smooth release during the loud music. Little did I know the bar occasionally dips its music to hear the guests singing. When the music turned off all eyes turned to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46049

You deserved it

14837

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By Anonymous - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I fell asleep while using my laptop. The next thing I know, it's 8am and my dad is screaming at me for posting "u skank-ass cunt-face" on my mom's Facebook timeline. I never made that post, but he won't believe me. My asshole brother, meanwhile, can't stop smirking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23847

You deserved it

2460

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By noname - France

Today, my flatmate was listening to opera on full volume all afternoon and now he's playing James Bond on the trumpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23997

You deserved it

3208

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By Anonymous - Saudi Arabia - Dammam

Today, I went to the market to buy some groceries. Before I got even half-way home, a guy stormed toward me, pulled what looked like a knife, and chased me around the block while screaming that he'd kill me for sleeping with his wife. Nope, still a 15-year-old virgin here. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39605

You deserved it

2494

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I found out that the friend I stayed up with for nights on end, talking out of depression and suicide, has 'politely' posted up on facebook that he secretly hates me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32415

You deserved it

3441

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By not what she said

Misheard

Today, I was on a Zoom call. My sister offered to go get lunch and I told her, "Don’t forget the baguettes." One overly sensitive coworker swears I used a derogatory slur that sounds the same. I didn’t. However, I’m still going to be investigated by my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1643

You deserved it

114

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By NoMoreMeters - United States

Today, during my fourth solo day working as a meter-maid, I had a vehicle towed for being parked in front of a fire hydrant. The vehicle belonged to the governor. I'm scared to even show my face at work next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33234

You deserved it

4850

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By slugitha - United States

Today, I was awoken by a slug crawling down my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19334

You deserved it

1829

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By Flutie

Today, I went to a haunted house with my fiancé. A few minutes in, I saw someone following us so I turned and screamed. She ran off and my fiancé explained that she wasn't an actor, just a lady with a pigment disorder. I can never go back there again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3316

You deserved it

738

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By Anonymous - United States - Albuquerque

Today, my car broke down in the middle of nowhere. I walked about 3 miles to the nearest house to call a tow truck. When I got back to where I left my car, it was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15161

You deserved it

1238

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By I'mnotsmarttheothersarestupid - Austria - Vienna

Today, I had to reply to my boss's comments to a 50+ page document. Every second comment could be answered by, "See the sentence above/below" because apparently someone has problems with his short term memory. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4815

You deserved it

351

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By PNeil

Time wasting

Today, after having spent all of last night studying for an algebra test, I find out that the test was on a completely different chapter of my textbook. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1131

You deserved it

1484

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By Anonymous - United States - Salem

Today, I realized how much it sucks to have the same name as my dad when I overheard my mom moan his name in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45339

You deserved it

2544

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I called my mother to tell her that I got engaged. In the 15 minute conversation that followed, 13 were spent listening to how this is going to affect her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45389

You deserved it

3324

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Top comments

By szy | 7

#7964865 - Saturday 16 January 2021 18:37

Or he could've showed the teacher his phone log, which would've proved that his phone hadn't rang.

By apeshit94 | 26

#7964947 - Sunday 17 January 2021 5:24

Loyalty at its finest :(

COMMENTS

By RichardPencil | 30

#7964848 - Saturday 16 January 2021 16:20

Why didn't you rat out your so-called "friend?"

Is it better to be a martyr than a snitch?

szy | 7

#7964865 - Saturday 16 January 2021 18:37

Or he could've showed the teacher his phone log, which would've proved that his phone hadn't rang.

RichardPencil | 30

#7964867 - Saturday 16 January 2021 18:59

You can delete calls from your log. All the teacher would learn is that you know how to use that function.

By apeshit94 | 26

#7964947 - Sunday 17 January 2021 5:24

Loyalty at its finest :(

By zeffra13 | 31

#7965061 - Sunday 17 January 2021 16:47

Doesn't your phone have a call log to show you didn't just get a call?

By arioch_fml | 20

#7965068 - Sunday 17 January 2021 17:01

Wouldn't it have been easy enough to have someone check your ringtone or something?