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TMI

By Anonymous - 10/03/2026 03:00

Today, my son has been talking strangely all day so I asked if he was OK. He told me he gave his girlfriend oral for the first time and while trying to “get her there” he went at it so hard, he got tongue cramp, and it still hurts so it’s making him talk weird. As a mom, TMI son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 116

Charming

By rosabelle91 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia - Sydney

Today, I realised that my boyfriend calls me "bitch" more often than he calls me by my actual name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 788

You deserved it 14 918

Seems reasonable

By Anonymous - 04/04/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, my husband kicked me out because I told him I'm having an abortion. He just doesn't understand that with the way our country is right now, and how bad the economy is, it's just not a good idea to have kids at the present time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 634

Slight issue

By Alex - 11/04/2026 06:00 - United States - Virginia Beach

Today, I sit alone in a nearly empty apartment, drinking from a whiskey bottle. Two weeks ago, my wife and I were ready to welcome our first child… except the little bastard was the wrong color, and my wife's hysterical tears told me everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 82

Saucy surprise

By Liquor needed urgently - 22/04/2026 03:00 - The Netherlands

Today, I walked in on my daughter-in-law pegging my son, who was tied to the bed. You know, I try to be open-minded and figure they can do whatever between themselves, but maybe not in my spare room? FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 51

Tanned pits

By huulo - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, I was getting ready for the school swimming carnival and was running very late. I reached for my deodorant and sprayed it on. It was only when I was at the pool that I realized I had accidentally grabbed the spray tan and covered my underarms in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 645

You deserved it 28 417

Love you too

By Blinken - 15/08/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, I visited my grandma like I do every other day to tell her that I love her, and to remind her that Bud Light and Marlboro Lights is NOT part and what her doctor meant when he placed her on a "light diet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 93

Memorable presentation

By paul - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I had a big meeting. Halfway through my presentation, I sneezed, and continued talking. I get some weird looks from my co-workers, but I didn't understand what they meant. When I finished, I passed by my boss walking to my chair, and he gave me a handkerchief. Why? Snot was all over my tie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 573

You deserved it 4 882

Judgement

By Anonymous - 13/10/2025 03:00

Today, I was venting to my dog about how my roommate never cleans. I said, “You’re the only one who listens, at least you don’t judge me.” I didn’t realize my roommate was standing behind me holding a trash bag. The dog wagged his tail. My roommate did not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 403

Goofball

By Anonymous - 09/11/2025 12:00

Today, as I was folding laundry, I found some of my wife’s sexy panties. I’m kind of a hairy guy so I thought it would be hilarious to put them on and send her some goofy pics. She thought it was hilarious alright, mostly because they were our daughter’s not hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 530

Denial

By blah - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mom took me to an AA meeting because she said I needed help. I have never tried alcohol in my life, and told them this. I was then harangued by the "instructor" because apparently one of the signs of alcoholism is denial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 069

You deserved it 3 117

Saucy minx

By Anonymous - 07/04/2026 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, when my date realised he wasn’t getting sex, even though it was the mythical third date when sex is supposedly guaranteed, he asked for the bill while I was still halfway through my main course, paid his share to the penny, and left. He'd driven me there, so I had to get a bus home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 270

You deserved it 111

Mouthy

By Anonymous - 11/04/2026 06:00 - United States - Norco

Today, my son obviously got possessed by some red pill demon that made him think it was OK to mouth off to his mother and tell her she belongs in the kitchen. She knocked him flat on his ass so fast I don’t think even The Flash would’ve had time to intervene. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 133

New to me

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out there is such a thing as eyebrow dandruff, and that I have it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 332

You deserved it 5 828

Some BFF…

By reginaphalange - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I found out that my best friend was having a birthday party and I wasn't invited. I had just finished planning a surprise party for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 958

You deserved it 3 343

Kinda weird

By lily98 - 16/05/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, I have been eating more and still not gaining weight, so my dad took away my PS5 until I gain 20 pounds. According to him, “A woman should be curvy.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 610

You deserved it 83

The smell of success

By Sheliton - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I learned how awful intertrigo smells. I spent a ton of money and years of my life to become a health care provider apparently to treat the yeast infection between an obese woman's fat folds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 754

You deserved it 5 524

Mug

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Vietnam - Ho Chi Minh City

Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend of a month has a new girlfriend. That girl is my cousin, the same one who's been listening to my tears fall as I've confided my feelings to her for the past few weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 040

You deserved it 2 711

Unreasonable!

By Ungrateful asshole - 06/08/2025 20:00 - Netherlands

Today, we have everything we can want: money, a house, two lovely kids, and great family relationships. My husband just asked for a divorce. He wants to blow all this up because we haven't had sex in over a decade, even though I gave him permission to masturbate to porn years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 1 682

Emergency situation

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I was on a crowded bus on the way back from my boyfriend's when I suddenly had a terrible nose bleed. I had no tissues, so instead I had to use last night's underwear from my bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 707

You deserved it 5 487

New look

By ouchbrow - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I went to get my hair done. The hairdresser managed to catch my eyebrow piercing in his comb and almost rip it out. I now look like I have a gunshot wound on the upper right hand side of my face. I'm getting married in a matter of hours, and I still had to pay £100 for the hair cut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 242

You deserved it 14 933

Oh well…

By DL06 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I met a guy online. We talked all night long and hit it off amazingly. He told me he'd never felt that way about anyone else, and I agreed. He sent me a picture and he was gorgeous. I sent him one after he assured me he didn't care what I looked like. I haven't heard from him since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 896

You deserved it 12 649

Merry sigma grindset!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, it's Christmas day. Normally, I'd be spending it with family. However, my boss decided everyone has to work today, despite the fact that there's enough people who want to work to run the place. Apparently it's "fairer" if we all have to do it - except him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 112

You deserved it 2 375

Tis the season…

By evil Santa - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Solon

Today, I was mugged by a guy in a Santa suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 485

You deserved it 3 263

Touché

By Anonymous - 16/01/2026 00:00

Today, I told my almost 18 year-old that she couldn’t go to a school event because I needed her to watch her younger siblings so I could go out with my sisters. She scoffed, “You have four baby daddies and not one can babysit?” and then went to the event anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 1 624

Cherry on top

By thetallone - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, on the way home from a night out, I crossed the main road in my town via the traffic lights. As I got to the other side, a guy turned to his two friends and 'whispered' with a look of disgust, "I would've run that one over." Thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 939

You deserved it 2 749

Masterful gambit

By what just happened - 13/03/2026 22:00

Today, a cute guy asked me out for coffee. I like him but didn't want it to be easy, so I said, "Coffee dates are for broke bums, aim a little higher." He said, "Aight I will, peace out" and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33

You deserved it 1 395

My son the moron

By Why son? - 22/03/2026 20:00

Today, my son got pulled over by a cop for speeding. He decided it was bullshit and floored the gas. He barely made it half a mile before losing control and crashing into a house. Now I'm being sued by the homeowner, my son is in jail, and my car is totaled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 137

Saboteur

By Anonymous - 04/04/2026 09:00

Today, I caught my sister red-handed trying to frame my husband for cheating. She's always been jealous that I'm in a happy marriage and she's only 31 and has already been divorced five times. I can't go no contact with her because she has two boys who I absolutely adore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 103

He got the hell out of there, became a new guy

By What is wrong with you - 05/04/2026 21:00 - United States

Today, my husband was home past his usual departure time for work, so I pointedly asked if he would be late. He said he called out sick. I stared at him, wide-eyed in disbelief, as he said he "wanted to relax in the yard with a book." He's completely lost his mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 718

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The Top

Today, my grandpa took my face in both hands, kissed me on the lips, said "Now you can tell all your friends you've had your first kiss," and walked out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 070

You deserved it 4 987

Today, I was planning on breaking up with my girlfriend of five years in two days time. She just mailed me a care package that said, "I'd die without you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 814

You deserved it 13 654

Today, the way some people just pry into others' life is annoying me. I have very little patience for nosy people who imply and make assumptions about you based on very little information, then air it all out in a work environment. The anger I felt towards you, my coworker, oh my god. I know he noticed and I don't care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 366

Today, I saw my crush standing at the bus stop. I did the "I'm talking to someone on the phone thing," trying to be cool. Halfway through the conversation my phone actually rang, I quickly answered but it was my mom on loudspeaker yelling, "Did you bring your tampons?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 122

You deserved it 40 835

Today, I found out that I bought a house next door to crazy people. She asked me if I would mind not showering when her husband is at home, because he can hear me and knowing I’m naked on the other side of the wall turns him on, which is a nuisance for her. He’s unemployed. He’s always at home, the creep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 737

You deserved it 107

Today, my ex boyfriend apologized for being a jerk to me and threatening our relationship. When he was done, he asked if his apology earned him enough points for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 360

You deserved it 5 637