Duly noted

Safety last

Today, my foreman complained that I was slowing down productivity and costing the company money, all because I was wearing a harness to protect me from falling over the edge of a three story building. FML

Today, my boss made me type up my own written warning, where I had to trash myself and describe my own "shocking incompetence". All the department heads are going to receive a copy of this. FML

Today, I nearly lost a hand at work, because a supervisor decided to remove a 'useless' safety guard on a machine despite my warnings. He doesn't understand why I'm so upset with him. FML

Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML

Bad boss

Today, despite warning my boss that it’s dangerous and stupid, he still insisted I get on with putting up a 4-storey tall scaffolding in high winds, and when it blew over, he blamed me for not putting it together correctly. FML

Today, during a workplace safety exercise at work, I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML

Priorities

Today, at work, I dropped a heavy block of lead on my hand. On my hunt for ice, I had to tell my manager - who told her manager, who told the chief - in the end, the whole department found out and they made me fill in two long-arsed incident reports. I had to fill them in myself with my busted up hand. FML

Today, I got written up at work over false accusations that I didn't do some safety tasks. The same tasks that were done before I had even arrived. FML

Today, I got in trouble with my boss for doing what she wanted me to do. I guess she didn't think I would do it, so she did it herself. FML

Today, my boss reprimanded me for a huge screw-up that he was responsible for. FML