The Top

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Speed

By no, don't save me or nothing - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Canada - Woodstock

Today, some aggressive asshole was tailgating me on my way home, bumping into me twice. I got scared and kicked my car into high gear and got out of there. Seconds later, a traffic cop came out of nowhere and pulled me over for speeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 188

You deserved it 8 991

Mommy issues

By Anonymous - 04/04/2026 22:00

Today, both of my daughters were having an argument because my youngest has decided that she doesn't want kids. I defended her decision and my oldest daughter told me to STFU and called me a hypocrite. I slapped her across the face for her disrespect and now she's threatening to press charges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 735

Settler mindset

By Freebird - 14/04/2026 00:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, my sister and her common-law-husband intensified their hints that their family is growing (a teenage son, a pre-teen daughter, and a new baby coming in the way), and it's getting rather crowded. In short, they want me out of the house. They may have also forgotten the mere fact that it is my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 671

You deserved it 105

Big yikes

By Anonymous - 22/04/2026 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I slapped my boyfriend’s ass as he was getting out of the shower and came away with shit on my finger. Bear in mind this was AFTER he'd showered, when he’s supposed to be all clean, yet he had enough shit there to get on my finger from patting his cheeks. Not his crack, his cheeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 610

You deserved it 102

Do as you're told

By Fuck u - 30/04/2026 00:00 - United States - Virginia Beach

Today, my parents forced me to do chores. I worked extra slow to rebel against their tyranny. My dad then said I'm not allowed to get my learner's permit for another six months and took away my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 1 114

Shame!

By give back my journal - 07/05/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I'm a porn addict struggling to stay clean. My girlfriend found my recovery journal and read it, then went off screaming that I'm a sick freak. She stole my journal and has been posting pages on her Instagram and tagging me in them. Yes, the stress made me relapse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 145

Roofing hell!

By roofer - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was working on a client's roof. Some neighborhood kids thought it would be hilarious if they knocked over my ladder. I was stuck on this roof in serious heat. I caught the attention of a pedestrian to come to my rescue. It was a little old lady. She gave me the finger and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 987

You deserved it 2 650

Party zone!!

By helloworld92 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I hung out with my crush for only the second time at his apartment. He was having a party. After a few sips of my green apple Smirnoff, I puked up the chinese food I had eaten earlier all over his new couch in front of him and a bunch of people I didn't know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 581

You deserved it 8 270

Jump scare

By notahero - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Brentwood

Today, my boss told me she had a nightmare where her life depended on me, and I let her die. Now I'm ridiculously paranoid that I'm going to get fired at any second. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 633

You deserved it 2 674

Higher standard

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Arab Emirates - Dubai

Today, my mother described what her ideal daughter-in-law should be like. Halfway through her description, fishing for some compliments, I told her that such a girl would be way above my league. She sighed and emphatically agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 861

You deserved it 9 851

Freaky family

By Anonymous - 18/07/2026 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I missed my daughter’s engagement because her cousin has a crush on her and was planning to ruin it. So while my daughter was agreeing to get married, my sister and I were in the car park with the jealous little shit in a headlock, whilst screaming that he loved her and that it’s not fair. He’s 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 545

You deserved it 70

It's alive!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I decided I'd take a nap in my car because I got to work very early. As I was waking up from my nap, I saw a cop looking right at me. Turns out, a lady who'd parked her car right next to mine after I was asleep had called the cops on me because she thought I was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 917

You deserved it 4 418

Blank canvas

By andromeda80 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Lakewood

Today, someone spray painted a black skull on the side of my house. We painted over it and installed lights to hopefully persuade intruders not to vandalize the property because it would be a bright area. The lights were stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 796

You deserved it 2 870

Ticket to ride

By Marfo101 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Ghana - Accra

Today, a pretty girl joined the line at the bus station. I let her skip the line and go before me so I could sit next to her. After she bought her ticket, I realized there were no more seats left on that bus. I was told to get off, and had to take the next bus, sitting next to a snoring old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 620

You deserved it 13 821

Smells like… victory

By sickofthesmelltoo - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Australia - Fitzroy

Today, my friends confronted me and told me that they no longer want to visit my house because my dog smells really disgusting. I didn't have the heart to tell them that the smell is actually my parents, who have been trying to "save water" by only showering once a fortnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 083

You deserved it 3 171

Freaky party

By I need abs - 04/11/2025 20:00

Today, at a party, I walked in on a guy I like fucking a girl. Last week, we attempted to hook up - he'd taken my shirt off then said, "Sorry, this doesn't feel right. I can't do this." I angrily told him, "So she feels right for you, huh?" He replied, "Her gut didn't hang when I took her top off. Now leave us alone." FML

I agree, your life sucks 197

You deserved it 471

Chatty Cathy

By Anonymous - 03/12/2025 09:00

Today, I was recording a video for my online class. I say I tried, because my very chatty Siamese cat was yowling in the next room, then came in, leapt onto my desk, knocking over my mug onto my laptop. The recording caught me screaming and falling off my chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 88

Where'd you go?

By omgjessp - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my cat came through my window, holding a dead rat in her mouth and dropped it in my pile of clothes. I then asked my dad if he could get the dead rat out of my room. After looking for an hour, he couldn't find it. Guess the rat wasn't dead after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 964

You deserved it 4 063

How could you?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Australia - Richmond

Today, my future sister-in-law cancelled my invitation to her and my brother's wedding. Her reason was that I was incredibly rude to announce my pregnancy to my family at a time like this, because it took all the attention away from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 197

You deserved it 5 385

Please sign

By Anonymous - 10/02/2026 12:00

Today, I contacted my ex asking him to please sign away his parental rights so that my husband could legally adopt my son. My ex hasn’t seen my son in nearly 10 years and wants nothing to do with him. However, he won’t sign because in his exact words, “You don’t deserve happiness.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 562

You deserved it 125

Quite the hobby

By chellegbelle - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Graham

Today, I found out my neighbor collects body-bags. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 707

You deserved it 4 006

Who TF Did I (almost) Marry?

By Anonymous - 01/05/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I was supposed to get married. I called it off only 20 minutes before the ceremony was supposed to begin because I saw my fiance punch his own mother in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 79

Busting makes me feel good

By thewordsicantsay - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, while waiting to do a presentation in class, I felt someone flick my back, but when I turned around no one was there. It wasn't until I got up in front of the whole class that I felt my bra slowly sliding down my body. Turns out that the "flick" I felt was actually my bra clasp busting open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 877

You deserved it 3 447

Classic manipulation

By Anonymous - 16/05/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband admitted he sometimes gets me ragingly jealous of other women on purpose because when I’m jealous I put in more effort in the bedroom and it’s easier to get me to do anal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 495

Overcrowded

By Anonymous - 01/06/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, my marriage of only a month is falling apart because my wife is furious that I allowed my daughter to move in with my mother, who lives just a few houses down. My daughter wanted to go live with her grandma and I agreed because my wife brought in four kids and my daughter had virtually no space. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 197

Turn off

By Anonymous - 11/06/2026 22:00 - United States - St Louis

Today, after many comments over years about her needing to lose weight, I had to tell the woman I love, the woman I married, that she had gotten so overweight that the sight of her naked made me want to puke. Apparently her goal was to get so fat I'd stop asking for sex. I'm her third divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 215

Bad idea

By Noname - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend to a very nice restaurant. I thought it would be a good place to pop the question. I gave the ring to the waiter and asked him to put it on her dessert plate. When she saw it, she picked it up, put it down, and said "No". Then she started to eat her dessert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 261

You deserved it 5 563

I'm not getting it, am I?

By FailAtLife - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had a job interview at a restauraunt opening up. One manager hypothetically asked me why I should be hired. I said I was more efficient than most. I left to find I'd locked my keys in the car. It took all the managers to help me get my keys out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 290

You deserved it 34 015

Heartbreak Hotel

By pixiegirl - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out that the "secret admirer" I've been exchanging letters with for the last three months, and even started developing feelings for, is actually my ex best friend trying to pull a prank on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 320

You deserved it 6 895

Help?

By StungAlot - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got stung by jellyfish. As I was writhing in pain on the beach, my dad comes up and asks me to be quiet and that I'm embarrassing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 730

You deserved it 2 821

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The Top

Today, I ran into a friend that I hadn't seen in about 5 years. She had her 4-year-old son with her. I couldn’t help but notice her son looked almost identical to mine. He even had a very distinct facial feature that my husband has as well. What are the odds all three of them have the same defect? FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 530

You deserved it 264

Today, I found out my father has been saving money to help me buy my first car. In the same conversation, I found out my mother, unbeknownst to my dad, used nearly all of the money to bail my drunken, deadbeat uncle out of jail for the fourth time a month ago. He's now back in prison. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 965

You deserved it 784

Random

Today, I went to the blood bank to donate plasma. All went well until the machine went to return my red blood cells. It turns out the nurse sliced my vein and the blood built up in my tissues. I now have a massive swollen arm and bruising, and look like a junkie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 501

You deserved it 2 645

Today, I matched with a woman on Tinder with whom I'd already talked on another dating app. The conversation had died out pretty quickly, so I was surprised she gave me a second chance. Her first message was to tell me how boring I was on the other app. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 110

You deserved it 787

Today, I found out that I mean nothing to the man I have loved for over a year. He has been taking vacations with another woman, and is in fact, on a vacation with her right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 908

You deserved it 267

Today, I met this girl who's perfect. Turns out, since I'm adopted, she might be my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003

You deserved it 119

Today, my dad completely disregards my mental health, insists mental disorders are just excuses for laziness in my generation, so even though I have crippling depression, at times he has no sympathy and will mercilessly bully me into “snapping out of it” and to "get a damn job already." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 073

You deserved it 493

Today, my husband is a normal man in his thirties with a receding hairline and a dad bod. So why am I insanely attracted to him and just want to always have sex with him or do things to him? I can't stop myself. I just turn on when I see him and start sucking his cock. He can't keep up and hates it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 211

You deserved it 280