Today, my mom tried to force me to stay home from work to babysit my sister and her “boyfriend”. I snuck out and went to work anyway, because I hate being around them. FML
Today, my partner got mad at me for forgetting to turn off the bedroom light when coming back from brushing my teeth, and has chosen to sleep in our spare bedroom over it. FML
Today, I took my computer to a store to be hopefully repaired due to a messed up screen (due to a part suddenly having stopped working). it is repairable, yet my family still probably wants me to get a new one, despite how sentimental this computer is to me. Why can't they just let it be repaired? FML
anonymous17 tells us more.
anonymous17 19
hello this is my fml i just made a account, sadly it isnt fixable but otherwise i would try to pay for the repairs, i did pay for it to get checked though i have a few other sentimental items but im genuinely sad about my computer, and i dont think they realized how special this is to me until i cried when i heard that its not repairable
Today, an ocean wave tore off my bikini bottoms. It took me a few seconds to notice after I stood up, by which time all of my friends, and quite a few other people, had seen my downstairs zone and laughed at me since I recently trimmed it into a love heart shape for my boyfriend. FML
Today, my teen son's ADHD is so bad that he wandered off WITH my car key and WITHOUT his phone, so I had to get a lift to our family event. When we got back, he was sat watching TV and asked me where I’d been all day. It took everything I had not to scream in his face, "YOUR SISTER'S FUCKING WEDDING!" FML
Today, despite begging my parents to get food other than diet and weight loss stuff, they refused. I'm bullied for being skinny on a daily basis. FML
Today, I was having sex with my FWB buddy. Right when I was about to cum, he stopped, didn’t even pull out, and said, “Wait, I have to text my mom.” The guy is 23 years-old. FML
Today, I texted my mom and had to explain to her that calling me repeatedly at 2 a.m. because you're bored and want to talk is not really a good idea. Seriously, nothing happened, she just wanted to chat because she had nothing else to do. Her response to my message? She started calling me again. FML
Today, I made it halfway through saying "Happy Father's Day" before he interrupted to send me to do an unimportant chore. When I finished, he’d opened the beer I'd bought him, despite it being 7:30am, but he was convinced it was a bribe because I wanted something from him. I don’t know why I bother. FML
Today, I sent my ex nudes and then asked him if he saved them, only for him to reply with, "Nah, they weren't nude enough." Mind you, he cheated on me. FML
Today, I messaged a crush (it was mutual and we adored each other) from five years ago, just to talk. He seemed happy and we had a good convo talking about how our lives have changed, until he said, “Uh I seriously don’t remember you though, lol. Thanks for the follow, though”. then left me on seen and unfollowed me. FML
Today, my girlfriend won’t give me oral because she doesn't like pubes, so I trimmed them; she refused again because they felt prickly, so I waxed them. Now she says I look like a little boy. If she doesn’t want to suck cock, why won’t she just say so instead of hinting she might if I shaved? FML
Today, my daughter got home from her first date, angry at me because I scared her date so much that he left halfway through. I swear I didn’t do anything except shake his hand and remind him her curfew is 10pm. Am I in the wrong here? FML
Today, I'm nearly done with my cortisol treatment for a persistent multi-day migraine. Good news: it actually stopped for the last two blissful, pain-free days. Bad news: apparently anything less than the maximum dose of cortisol doesn't prevent me from getting a new migraine. Here we go again. FML
Today, I read a message from someone on Instagram asking if I wanted to "hook up with a nice guy sometime." It was my uncle – he doesn't recognize his own family before messaging them. FML
Today, we needed a new TV after our old one died. My husband decided to splurge and ordered a 110 inch TV. It just got delivered and my husband now knows just how big 110 inches is. There is no wall in our house this thing will fit on, and the returns process is crazy complicated. FML
Today, my dad was sat on my laptop in the living room trying to learn how to do some rewiring around the house when he, and I quote, ”clicked on the thing.” My laptop is now riddled with so many viruses it’s basically a house brick. FML
Today, I made the mistake of uttering the phrase "I’m not like other girls" at work when discussing how I prefer staying in and reading over going out to a bar. Now none of the other girls in the office will talk to me and are calling me a "pick-me." FML
Today, I got better phone reception crossing an inlet on a ferry than I normally do at my own house. FML
Today, a friend moved into my new house. He was a great roommate years ago, but COVID seems to have driven him mad. He brought a huge stockpile of non-perishable food, and keeps talking about "fortifying" the house. He's trying to build a composting outhouse right now. Send help. FML
Today, I got asked, “And you are…?” by a senior colleague while in a morning meeting at work. I’ve been working here for 3 months and I've already introduced myself multiple times to them. FML
Today, I discovered that all the times my boyfriend says he's in the bathroom with horrible diarrhea, he's actually sitting there smoking crack and talking to other women. I've dedicated everything in my life to him. I feel so brokenhearted and defeated. FML
Today, my roommate sings in his room a lot. He has a horrible singing voice, but his dog trying to harmonize with him by howling at the top of its lungs makes it even more unbearable. Worst duet performance ever. And he does it every day. FML
Today, my friend fixed me up with a guy from her workplace. I'm painfully shy, so I really appreciated it and was looking forward to meeting him, since she described him as very sweet. Once the date got started, he continuously made fun of my speech impediment, until I finally left in tears. FML
Today, I took an allergy skin test and turns out I’m allergic to dogs. Three weeks ago, I adopted a new puppy to help with my depression, but within a few days I was coughing, sneezing, and having watery eyes. I’ve previously had a dog for 10 years and I was never allergic to it. I don’t wanna give the new one up. FML
Today, my wife pretended she was going to suck my knob, but then bit it so hard she drew blood. Apparently, she saw the texts from my “girlfriend”. The texts were actually from our elderly neighbour, who asked me to feed her cat while she visited her daughter. She thought “feed my cat” meant "illicit sex." FML
Today, during one of my wife’s very infrequent amorous moments, she headbutted me and split one of my front teeth in half. I now have two teeth where there used to be one, and I can see the exposed nerve in the crack. Yes, it’s as excruciating as it sounds FML
Today, the new person that I was supposed to train didn't show up for the second time in a row. They only had one session with me, and nobody is able to tell me what I'm doing wrong. This is the third time in two years. I give up. FML
Today, I messaged my two best friends for emotional support. I don't normally do this, as I feel like I'm bothering people, but I was having a breakdown. One never replied; the other said, "Everyone is having a hard time" then talked about her own problems. FML
Today, I was showing why we picked the colour in our posters and ads for my department. I used a video to explain; I hadn't watched the full video. I skipped to halfway through and there was a picture of a naked woman with starfish on her tits. Everyone kinda went silent. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
