Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. Out of nowhere, a huge, apparently suicidal bird dove into the windshield, putting a crack in it. My father yelled at me as if it was my fault, and is demanding I pay for the repairs. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband thought it would be funny to drive my car through a flock of vultures eating road kill. Since a bird hit the mirror and broke it, I now have to pay for a replacement. FML
Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML
Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML
Today, as I was driving home from work, a bird decided to commit suicide by flying in front of my car. The shock caused me to slam on the brakes, totaling three other cars in the process. FML
Today, I was driving home on the highway with my wife and her parents. As I overtook another car, a rock got kicked up into our windshield. My wife screamed about the crack it created, while my mother-in-law goaded her on and mocked my "piss-poor driving." FML
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML
Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. I accidentally reversed while still in the driveway, and I instinctively hit the brakes. In my panic, I accidentally let go of the brakes, and ended up reversing straight into our house, all while my father yelled "NOOOOOO!" FML
Today, my son broke a window at school playing football. Not only did he break one, he broke the other window next to it. His excuse? He tried making it look like a bird flew in one way and flew out the other. I have to pay $800 to fix it. FML
Today, I was driving my parrot home from the vet. As I was driving home, I decided to let her sit on my shoulder. Something scared her, and she started flapping in my face, causing me to crash my car into a tree. FML
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Top comments
Indianboy9321 25
Your dad is just trying to save face because there really is no one to blame for it. Try and explain to him it isn't your fault, otherwise you would have gladly paid. Don't flip him the bird though.
barfcannon 24
It's like Angry Birds in real life.
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Comments (72)
blueboy154 12
Wow. Calmly explain it to him
illegalbeagle69 23
Looks like your father-son relationship will be cracked for a while... Maybe the truth will swoop in and save the day...
illegalbeagle69 23
That was supposed to be a comment not a reply my bad.
blueboy154 12
Why the hell am i getting bad likes. I didnt do anything. I just said explain it to him And i get thumbed down?!?! I dont care if THIS one gets thumbed down. I didnt Say something wrong. WTF
PhilSnake22 13
The father was there, what is there to explain?
amberv61 22
#1, calmly explaining won't help if both parties aren't calm. Their father saw it very differently from OP so explaining won't help if their father has already made up his mind
blueboy154 12
Explain how it wasnt his fault....
ThomasBombadil 31
Really? Birds hitting windshield are act of ghod in my book. Your dad needs a chill pill.
oddities 20
#15, I don't think you're reading comprehension skills are up to par. The bird flew into OP's dad's windshield. OP didn't crash into a bird that was just minding its business. The bird pulled a kamikaze on OP. How in hell can OP control that? He can't. So, it wasn't OP's fault.
blueboy154 12
Guys Im being hacked
blueboy154 12
I'm not kidding I swear I never wrote a comment on this FML
Sadgirox 7
#1 , note to self don't learn or teach how to drive in Switzerland.
ballerboy20 8
you clearly dont understand how fml works #9 lol
BootheGhost 6
On the other hand, least it wasn't a deer that wrecks your entire front when you run into it.
Indianboy9321 25
Your dad is just trying to save face because there really is no one to blame for it. Try and explain to him it isn't your fault, otherwise you would have gladly paid. Don't flip him the bird though.
migueljm5 18
Yeah my dad is the same way. Some people just want someone to blame.
JKPwnage 27
I see what you did there
Debbiek 5
if he wants some one to blame he will keep blaming
barfcannon 24
It's like Angry Birds in real life.
ThomasBombadil 31
Nicely done sir! Best post of the day. Give you multiple thumbs up if I could. side note: like your moniker
Sandsh8rk 36
Did the bird mistake the dad for a pig?
oddities 20
#21, nah. That's no mistake.
Debbiek 5
yeah because the dad is a pig lol
whatcase 16
Poor bird. reminds me of ron's owl.
chocolatefrog28 29
That's what car insurance is for, it wasn't your fault.
mattjamt 16
You do realize that most auto insurance providers/plans don't compensate you for hitting animals, (deer, birds, etc) right? Having insurance isn't the solution to everything.
jae1078 4
Did you know that most auto insurance providers do offer a compensation for hitting such animals it's called comprehensive or also your "no fault losses" which include weather, animal, fire, and water as well as any vandalism an glass damages caused by road debris :) and because it is a "no fault loss" it does not count against you or your premiums ijs
StillUsesMyspace 22
Insurance doesnt cover everything, even if it's 100% not your fault. I was rear ended, and the guy drove away. Never caught him, and even with insurance I had to pay to fix my car. Damned deductible.
4Madden 19
She might only have liability insurance. Just cause one's car gets damaged doesn't mean their insurance will cover it.
SnowFangedBeauty 19
Unless you can either control gravity or birds then I pretty sure its not but I can be wrong...
tbro47 23
Next time you ride with him, every time he hits a bump or a pothole yell at him for damaging the tires and shocks
smack592 3
Should have sang "like a good neighbor State Farm is there"
gabix3 16
Safelite repair, safelite replace!!
weveallbeenthere 30
yes, I'm sure you used a jedi mind trick to get the bird to kill itself.