Anonymous
United States
Today, my wife posted on Facebook, "FUCK THA POLICE!" She got 40 likes. I'm a police officer. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Night on the tiles
Today, my wife got drunk and stopped for a pee against the wheel of a parked police car, with three coppers and a dog inside it. FML
SebastianMiko
Calgary, Canada
Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML
single again
Chico, United States
Today, I'm a police officer who had the honor of arresting my girlfriend of 3 months for prostitution. All of my coworkers at the station know her and won't stop giving me judging looks. FML
BUSTED.
London, United Kingdom
Today, I punched a drunk woman who kept trying to force herself onto my husband. She turned out to be an off-duty cop. FML
Anonymous
United States
She's lost control
Today, I found out that my husband proposed to his girlfriend, and that her mom had posted it on Facebook. FML
Pissed
United States
Gotcha
Today, I found out that the "burglar" I caught, punched, and tied up for the cops was actually my wife's secret lover. FML
mystery
Phoenix, United States
Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. She hadn't even called me; I saw the news on my Facebook news feed. FML
Ava_Darkflame
Philadelphia, United States
Today, I had to call the police to get my crazy stalker of a neighbor out of my house. When the police arrived, I found out that she was friends with the officer. FML
Alex
United States
Today, I noticed that my wife changed her status on Facebook to "widow" and a lot of strange guys commented saying stuff like "Finally." Last I checked, I'm not dead. FML
ironic driver
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
Takes one to know one
Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML
Top comments
HollowSanctuary 7
Cuff her and play out what she said
Complaining 13
Perhaps...it's a sign. Maybe...could be.
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Comments (348)
Cshoc16 0
FIRST
Complaining 13
Perhaps...it's a sign. Maybe...could be.
StoryOfTheYear 15
It's a sign that she wants to get intimate with her husband, that's what it is.
Pentium_4 27
she must play a lot of grand theft auto too
Juggalette_623 9
or possibly a hangover 2 reference.
xXxIracebethxXx 14
It's true... **** THA SYSTEM! Nah, just kidding, OP. That was funny though. FYL?
marinus_fml 20
Just a kinky way of letting the public know she got laid last night.
Jonkbaby 23
give her the electric chair
shelbygordon44 7
then **** you OP. jk, FYL man...
iLOLatURpain69 7
Dumbasses, this is a NWA song.
ScaughtieHolden 11
We don't use the electric chair anymore. We use lethal injections.
angry_anonymous 5
OPs wife wants to GET. IT. IN. and she wants all her friends to know
greatdanen 6
does she come straight from the underground?
markmiller2023 0
yep, no one ever said it before the hangover 2. btw, icp ******* sucks
YtotsDI 0
She wants your dick easy
mikekaz1 1
It's not icp retard its nwa
markmiller2023 0
there was some bitch on here named juggalette that was directed to her
margie2194 12
Technically she does "****" the police.
camjamiam 0
isnt that in your benefit?
RochelleRedvines 8
I'm sure she ***** you all the time. Have a nice marriage :)
PeypeyTheBeeotch 1
Well, maybe you should let her...
lizziiexx 0
You should've commented something like "you already do." that would've racked up the likes
irollup 4
Ugh. I hate when people say **** the police. Don't just **** the police. Take the police on a couple dates. Take the police on a stroll through the park. Feed the police delicious food. Show the police a good time. Then **** the police.
amyjadee 0
Oh so very clever
godisnowhere41 5
I guess You have a waiting list of people who want to **** you, I wouldn't complain too quickly.
Arch27 27
N.W.A. - Straight Outta Compton, 1988.
Druu 53
She does indeed want to **** the police.
stickyvikky285 9
Haha that's kinda funny though
xSonic 9
Not really though
cheesypies 6
She did it for the lulz.
DrMime 10
What's the matter? She's clearly expressing the behavior she exhibits towards police officers! Dress up in your blue uniform and slap some double wrist jewelry on her hands, I guarantee you she'll be hotter than a polar bear in Al Gore's 'An inconvenient truth'!
007bawss 0
Nahh c'mon police deserve respect.
elephantom12 9
29 - Ba dum tschhh... *whistling cricket*
DrMime 10
Haha! If you thought that was funny, then you'll love my new stand-up routine, "Trying"! New York times raves: "How long is this?" The Chronicle states: "Where is the bathroom?" And the Washington post said: "It's so sad that I'm now laughing!"
mduerden 18
She did it for the nookie
Bball_boy15 3
You should comment "THE POLICE IS F*CKING YOU"
mchoate 1
My thoughts exactly.
HollowSanctuary 7
Cuff her and play out what she said
slushpup9696 12
op should just comment, "Is that an offer?" and see where it takes him
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
"honey, do you mind if I bring the guys from the precinct?"
Roevera 14
haha my boyfriend is going to be an officer.. I'm totally gonna make it my status!
TourettesGuyFTW 26
What he said^
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
She probably did it to see your reaction. Don't dwell on it. If it gets worse.. Well you have a taser gun.
GoW_Chick 15
Taser gun really? Sounds like one kinky night to me...
RedPillSucks 33
All that bucking and shuddering. Such a turn-on.
maddyyghee 6
Supportive wife :)
falconfan70 4
Are you really from Australia
luismyl 6
She does. Doesn't she?
RechargedCoconut 14
They're married, so probably not.
MrsWojtowicz 16
Probably not, RechargedCoconut. She was probably trying to give him a hint. ;)
Tyger44 1
Just make sure that all your money,possessions are safe&your sack in the night.
GhhOsT206 0
Maybe she wanted to **** a cop. Get back in there and do your thing.
RawrzIIshScareh 0
You got yourself a keeper :)
hrubi4x4 4
Haha