Today, I was in a rush and had to get changed in a train restroom. While changing, I leaned against the button that opened the door. Not only do train toilet doors open and close very slowly, leaving you half naked for a few seconds, but everyone in the carriage opposite can see clearly. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took a long distance train across country. Early on I had an urgent need to use the bathroom. As I went to flush away the nasty, the preflush water violently projected my diarrhoea onto my pants before clearing the rest down the gurgler. I have 8 hours left on the train. FML
Today, as I was using the public restroom in the mall, someone decided to slam the stall door next to mine. This resulted in my stall door opening while I was still on the toilet. The door was too far for me to reach. FML
Today, while using a public restroom to change my tampon, I made eye contact with someone looking at me through the little space in the door. FML
Today, I was using a public toilet stall when the lock gave way, and the door swung open halfway. I froze, and the person who was washing his hands at the sinks looked at me in the mirror and awkwardly said, “I see you.” I muttered, “I’m sorry,” as he walked out looking like he'd seen a ghost. FML
Today, I tried to quietly leave a public toilet at work without anyone noticing how long I'd been in there. The automatic hand dryer turned on as I walked past, making me jump so hard, I walked straight into the door. FML
Today, I ran to catch the subway, slipped, and my pants ripped across the back. I got on the train trying to cover the hole, only to realize the train was packed with people staring straight at my underwear though my fingers. To make it worse, my phone started playing loud music and I froze as I considered which situation to fix first. FML
Today, I was at a busy restaurant and, in a rush, walked into the men’s restroom instead of the women’s. I was so focused on my phone that I didn’t notice the stares, or the guy at the sink giving me the confused glare. When I finally looked up and saw the urinals, I practically sprinted out. FML
Today, I was in a busy airport bathroom with my three year-old son. While in the process of pulling my pants down, my son decided to open the stall door. I jumped up to yank the door closed, but not before the line of waiting women saw me with my pants wrapped around my ankles. FML
Today, I was on a plane when I had to use the bathroom. While pulling up my pants, the flush button got stuck and the water kept running. I tried to fix it, but ended up flooding the bathroom and the aisle. The attendants had to give me a towel and escort me back to my seat with everyone on the plane staring at me. FML
Today, I was in a rush so when I got home I went to my bedroom, which is on the ground floor, and just started changing my clothes. It wasn’t until I was done I realised my blinds were open. Basically, I'd flashed my thong and tits to a packed bus stop. FML
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Top comments
Glitterhinoceros 14
A window seat with twice the view, dayum.
emmas03 0
"Today, I was on the train when I caught awkward eye contact with a half naked woman in the toilet as the door slowly closed. FML."
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Comments (123)
MubeenMV3 5
Damn, that sucks :(
boating_guy 33
so...full moon today, eh?
youcunthole 0
At least u weren't masturbating
max_wilder 9
You suck
NinaTatianna 9
#13... on a train??? that is disgusting... not to mention illegal..
ripgeorgecarl1n 7
13- it's kind of like the poor man's Mile High Club.
youcunthole 0
Well I mean it's hard to control urges sometimes
NinaTatianna 9
sometimes you just gotta use some self control... if we all succumbed to our urges the world would be wack
youcunthole 0
38 well then everybody would be having sex and everybody would be happy
iliketurdles 7
21, it's not illegal, just frowned upon.
Nutty4Muffs 3
I've done it. It's really not so bad. just gotta be quick about it. Really neat on those Amtrak trains where the whole bottom floor is for loading/unloading and toilets. Ingenious design, I'd say!
frostyman211 2
Like masturbating on an airplane
NinaTatianna 9
Alright. yeah I mean, in a bathroom you can't be charged for indecent exposure but any suspicion of doing it around minors may tack on a sex offense charge to your record. gotta be smart... and by the way, #40... no. incase you weren't aware, urges arent necessarily sexual....people are urged to do all kinds of things. An extreme example would be rape and murder... if we didnt control our urges and people just ran around doing whatever the hell they felt like it actually would NOT be a happy place....
That0therguy 4
73, you know what he meant buzzkill.
EvilPotato 15
It's a FYL for you, but a best day ever for the other passengers.
jworret 0
Bro that's hard to do, so damn cramped!
youcunthole 0
Hey 73 i just noticed but it kinda looks like you are masturbating in your picture
The_Troller 14
73- you can't win an argument against masturbation.
elyse789 7
not illegal. she was in the bathroom.
NinaTatianna 9
92, jaja okei... you must really know a whole lot about girls masturbating.... I bet youre an experienced one.
youcunthole 0
Cool story bro
justaredcarrot 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Aww that sucks. You have toilets on your trains!!
angrymexican 8
I wish I had a toilet in my car
Lanceeden 12
You should have just stared at anyone passing by like nothing was wrong.
rkmepm 16
I'm sure the passengers had the ride of their life ;)
skullcandifiedDJ 5
you should've posed while your at it..
radiocaf 29
In Britain we do. OP has described British train toilets perfectly.
False_Stupidity 42
Sound a lot like the toilets we've got on some of the newer trains here in Aus.. Probably stole the design from the Brits.
Glitterhinoceros 14
A window seat with twice the view, dayum.
justaredcarrot 6
Haha that comment made me laugh aloud (or lol I guess :/ )
CharlieS0ul 0
Lol hahahaha great view *whistles* rofl sorry had to haha sorry that happened tho hahahaha
Lanceeden 12
Ok totally out of context here but wouldn't it be awesome if on airplanes they had toilets that had big viewing windows on the walls so you could see everything while you're taking a piss?
gntfmlingnow 12
Or a troll button on the toilet where when you flush, it just falls to the ground and confuses the hell out of whoever it hits
ikickgingers 15
46, and then.. A bird hits the window and you shit your pants....... I see potential here.
Lanceeden 12
Or like a turret that fires dingleberries at unsuspecting civilians.
thethatoneguy_21 4
Probably made the guys in the other car day
flockz 20
no **** this you guys are thinking way too complicated. get this. a flying toilet with a open bottom!! talk about feeling the breeze between your knees with that. i can just see it now..... ok be right back gonna take a shit.
rkmepm 16
91, that is absolutely lovely to know- especially when im eating lunch. :/
mojobanks 8
But then superman would be able to see me pee. Oh wait, he has xray vision. Nvm
GiggityGiggityGo_fml 8
Yeah that would be pretty sweet.. :)
ma22hm 0
i love u hahaha
fap5v 2
Add me on Facebook Brooke.
BrianAlarcon 0
FYL
brunogtz 4
thumb me up! :D (I know you won't haha)
carmenm 6
Wow you have toilets on your trains? On the other hand that really sucks I feel bad for you
yelz 16
We have toilets on our trains too, here in Australia. What's so surprising about that?
carmenm 6
I live in Australia, never been on a train with a toilet so yeah it is surprising
asianinvasionn6 0
This is why i hate public restrooms...
curlyfry33 8
You hate public restrooms because you push the door opener and everyone sees you half naked?
Okayitwasme 0
Why do people always mess with the fricken locks??? Always one in every public washroom I Gus's that's why the queen never uses public bathrooms.
emmas03 0
"Today, I was on the train when I caught awkward eye contact with a half naked woman in the toilet as the door slowly closed. FML."
CryMoreFMLs 15
Why is that an FML? That'd be more of a Bless my Day.
Sl1mShad3y 10
Fml being the door closing perhaps?
emmas03 0
could have been Respuscha from norbit?
HomeAl0ne 20
Completely depends upon what that half naked woman looks like. Miss Boulas from PE class, or my granny?
Dante17 6
In Spanish "Miss Boulas" sounded like the term "my balls" in English
Bunnehs 0
Looking at the comments and thinking "Do Americans not have toilets on their trains?!"
Enslaved 38
Of course we do! Didn't you see the movie "Unfaithful"?
RA661 8
We sure don't. Least I've never seen one *in* a train.
cookiemonster144 0
We have them it's just very very few people travel by train. And if we do it's to go sightseeing for a few hours.
Red7646 0
Did you smile while others enjoyed the show?
ollallie 0
Haha I woulda gave 'em a show lol
omgcookeys 15
It seems as though the "blitz" had just left :)
DocBastard 40
If you ever think of joining the Mile High Club, I highly suggest you reconsider. If you think train bathrooms are small, you'd never be able to navigate a plane lavatory while getting boned.
Zaxl133 0
So your a doctor? What was that patients name?
HideouslyHuman 10
He's not allowed to disclose that information,without a permit...I think.
DocBastard 40
Zaxl- it's "you're", and yes I am. Why would you want to know the patient's name? I obviously can't tell you, but it rhymes with "Tevery1luvsboners".
every1luvsboners 11
One morning while doing my nude yoga squats someone slipped a bottle under my arse as a joke and it disappeared. Thanks to Doc's swift hand and a plunger everything came out okay. I still have it on my mantle; it's a great conversational piece.
iam_yummylicious 12
Bevry1LuvsBoners? Levry1LuvsBoners? Mevry1LuvsBoners? Wevry1LuvsBoners? Gevry1LuvsBoners? Bah! I can't figure it out.
Zaxl133 0
Ok, good to know doc (I was just trying to piss you of due to the fact that you bio caused me displeasure and slight anger
SirEBC 7
"Displeasure and slight anger." Mission accomplished then, eh?
flockz 20
hey now. i don't enjoy being called a "plunger". i can't believe with all the shit i went through that you would just completely degrade me like that.
yety135 3
Hey i want to carry on an argument over if mairjuana sould be leagle