Today, I resorted to the oldest prank in the book: laxatives in the food. Except it wasn't for a prank, but just a desperate attempt to get my clingy boyfriend to leave me the hell alone. I think I'm going to hell. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend made me a latte. It tasted off, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I drank it. Turns out he put laxatives in it as a prank. The idiot couldn’t just use one or two. He used so many that I had to go to the ER for severe dehydration after puking and shitting for hours. FML
Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML
Today, I finally decided to get back at my roommates for eating all my food. First thing that kept disappearing was my water, so I decided to add lots of laxatives to my water this way the first person to go to the bathroom nonstop was the culprit. I forgot I had done that when I drank some myself. FML
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Today, my boyfriend fed me chocolate chip cookies with laxatives in them because he was concerned I did not poop enough. FML
Today, I decided to prank my boyfriend by putting a pair of panties in his coat pocket. I stormed in and confronted him with the "evidence". I guess the prank worked; he broke down and confessed to cheating on me. FML
Today, my husband has both arms broken, and I have to help him in the bathroom. Not the problem. My girlfriends and I have been pranking each other lately and it's been fun, but they decided to slip my husband slip him some laxatives so that I would have to clean him him. FML
Today, I have been victimised by a lunch thief at work for months, despite numerous complaints to management, so I exposed the thief by lacing my curry with that old classic, laxatives. Even though my coworker was caught brown-handed shitting himself, I was the one suspended for making him sick. FML
Today, I was constipated and so desperate to go that I ate an entire box of laxatives. Now I'm in the hospital on a saline drip for dehydration and malnutrition, in addition to getting a massive enema and having the most agonizing shit of my life. FML
Today, as revenge for a prank I played on him last week, my brother took things way too far and loaded my milkshake with so many chocolate laxatives, I’m now in hospital. I’ve had so much diarrhoea in the past few hours, I’m dangerously dehydrated and had to be put on a saline drip. FML
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Top comments
expectcriticism 13
if you have to go to such drastic measures then maybe you shouldn't be with him.
J215B 33
Perhaps you should just break up with him rather than do him bodily harm... Just a suggestion.
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Comments (71)
expectcriticism 13
if you have to go to such drastic measures then maybe you shouldn't be with him.
R3TROxLOV3 32
He may be the type of guy who's so clingy, that he doesn't accept any attempt to breakup with him. I had an ex who refused to accept it. Even after I got a new boyfriend, he went and told anybody who would listen that we were still together, and that my new bf was the guy I was cheating on him with. Some people are crazy.
JMichael 26
Don't let her lie to you guys. We are still together and madly in love. She'll realize it someday.
R3TROxLOV3 32
#18, I wish he was that calm about it :P it only got resolved after breaking and entering, and a chat with the school administration, a police officer, and our parents.
JMichael 26
He sounds like the crazy ex stalker type o.o. Damn I feel for you. Had to deal with that once. It got resolved when I threatened to get the police involved.
R3TROxLOV3 32
He is. He still continued to call my house and leave letters in my locker until we graduated, but I ignored it. As long as he didn't actually come near me, I didn't really care. I have this amazing talent for finding really unhinged guys. I hate to admit it, but I'm totally that girl that's like "Oh you're emotionally damaged and you have no one to lean on? I'll be your friend!!!" And then I totally don't notice signs of craziness until it's too late. What I lack in good judgement and a sense of self-preservation, I make up for with naivety and hasty decision making.
Luluthus 41
#13 wow, your ex is nuts. To OP, it's time to either leave him or send him to therapy. Actually, you may want to join him.
BootheGhost 6
Desperate times call for desperate measures...
BirdieCurls 25
Well, did it work?
rabbi1010 29
I would hope so. Unless the boyfrine dragged her into the bathroom with him.
harrypotter955 19
What if he started face timing you while he was on the toilet...
Luluthus 41
What a lovely image you just put in my head. Thank you for that.
CurlyQute 17
Hahahahaha this is great. Some people have pissed me off enough that I've almost done this
J215B 33
Perhaps you should just break up with him rather than do him bodily harm... Just a suggestion.
ComoEsJuan 24
Or just talk to him first.
VeganVampyre 27
11- I would assume if she's to the point of feeding him laxatives just to get some space, she's probably already tried talking to him. Also, talking to someone that clingy doesn't work. I've been there. His reaction was "why don't you want to spend time with me anymore? Don't you love me? Are you cheating on me, is that why?" There's no reasoning with guys like that, they're crazy.
ThomasBombadil 31
That's the *****. So sorry OP.
AnthonyWheeler15 24
That's a little harsh OP, but a classic prank.
Leylafayth 4
Points for thinking of that. I'd be to scared to tell him to get away.
TisAPenguin 16
All of these "clingy partner" FMLs need to stop. Either talk to him about it or leave him. It's that ******* simple.
alycion 39
Yeah, but drugging someone is just so much quicker. People never see that there are actual dangers in this because it OTC.
TisAPenguin 16
Accidentally downvoted and apparently you can't fix it. My bad. But yeah, OP is a spineless, careless bitch.
siggy_mcsigx 22
Sounds simple, but it is Not easy.
isuckwithnames 22
Few things are that simple
shredder8838 10
I bet OP's boyfriend is gonna shit himself when she finds out about this.