Joe Smooth

By riiiight - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Warren

Today, I went on a blind date. The first thing the guy did was ask if I knew what it felt like to have spiders crawl out of my vagina. FML
I agree, your life sucks 56 049
You deserved it 5 925

Comments

colton_colton 49

Maybe he mistook you for spiderwoman? Either way you should run. Fast.

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
wellthen7154 12

... One question for OP... Well did you? Hahaha Im just kidding, but seriously, that's weird and creepy, and he probably has issues. No probably is out of the question, he defiantly has issues. Depending on how you got the blind date, I would say you should expect something weird (i.e. from a friend who is the jokester type). As long as there aren't any spiders down there, you should be alright. Now a question for FML, why all the ****** related FML's?

Rainhawk94 27

#28 Your words are so random that #seems you threw up all over your keyboard

incoherentrmblr 21

Sounds similar to the movie teeth...

Ikr! She's so lucky that she got a date with Spider-Man ;D

20, is another victim of Definitely to Defiantly...

colton_colton 49

Running is too obvious, and might give him the impression of OP being hard-to-get. I mean, I'm always up for the challenge, but he may not be.

colton_colton 49

Maybe just be old fashioned and leave through the bathroom window so it's not too obvious

Limping, running, crawling... you need to draw an anti sea-bear circle. Make sure it's not an oval!

buttcramp 21

definitely lol I was just thinking "was there a second question?"

The chase is only half the fun as they say?haha

colton_colton 49

People on "My Strange Addictions" might idk

I'm thinking more of 1000 ways to die ahahahah

Greenteamextreme 16

Should have made a game of it and tried to out weird him!

Something tells me nothing would creep this guy out.

Greenteamextreme 16

like no but i did experienced Dragon if that counts lololo

Greenteamextreme 16
deviking 10

I would be worried about what he is going to try during sex

With conversation like this, it's NEVER going to get that far

deviking 10

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

He would take kink to a whole new level.

Did you ask him what it's like to have sex with a ****** then walk off and say, "guess not" over your shoulder.

colton_colton 49

He sounds weird, he probably would've just followed her in there too

Colton, must you comment on everyones posts?

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Well you see, it starts with one person thinking "hey, my one friend might totally dig this other friend of mine. They've never met so maybe I should arrange a meeting!" This all happens magically sometime during 2014. Voila! A modern day blind date!

olpally 32

He just went full retard. Wow. Run! Haha. Please don't take offense to me using the word "retard" thanks!