Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my "future" wife got drunk in front of my parents, who she was meeting for the first time. She called my dad a piece of shit and told my mom she wants to tear her own eyes out. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. His father was completely wasted, his mom was high, and his 11-year-old sister was talking about her favorite alcoholic drinks at the dinner table. FML
Today, my new girlfriend's father made good on his "What you do to her I do to you" threat when he took me out for drinks and then drunkenly hit on me. FML
Today, my drunken mother told me I'm just like my father and that I don't give a fuck about her. She's living in my home and drinking my wine. FML
Today, I was told by my girlfriend that in the thralls of my drunken haze last night, I tried to French-kiss her mom. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I'm already a clumsy person but became extra clumsy because I was nervous. After knocking over my drink for the fourth time, my boyfriend's mom angrily shouted "Did you actually come drunk for the first time meeting us?" FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad. It didn't go well since unfortunately he’s the guy I had to remove from the club I’m the bouncer at, and had to report to the police for getting drunk, stroking himself over his pants and taking photos in the ladies toilets. FML
Today, I met my fiancé's parents for the first time. The only problem was that I was highly intoxicated. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I thought everything went well, until I got a text from him later saying, "Come on mom, she isn't THAT bad." FML
Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML
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Top comments
Paco_el_Taco 17
Remember, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
cayytee 0
poor girl..
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Comments (90)
Paco_el_Taco 17
Remember, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
airforce987 20
I'm pretty sure he would need to be drunk too for that to happen...
friedchickenpie 14
Paco_el_Taco... THEO! I found you!
Paco_el_Taco 17
Theo???
yakrider 8
vaat de heisen ******* non-sequitur
iiTsAJ 5
Just hope your girlfriend isn't a drunk.
pinkcrayola 0
That's not necessarily true..just because someone's parents have problems doesn't make the child the same as them. That's so close minded.
Sparks808 10
This seems more like a FHL (the girlfriend). Poor girl is the one that has to deal with it everyday. At least OP gets to go home.
cheaptrix 6
Unless the apple is adopted, but then again, who adopts an apple without the intention of eating it?
Paco_el_Taco 17
That's how it works in my family!!!
ttttttyyy 0
What a winer!
kiran_fml 5
Winner? Whiner? Weiner??????
nofearjenshere 12
I like the last choice the best. ;D
kooochris1995 14
I like like wieners too! We're talking bout hotdogs right?
totlmstr 3
You're winner!
SkoomaKi 28
35 - Your comment made me think my FML app had ****** up. Don't scare me like that!
videokid2000 10
-troll face- U mad bro?
CanadianPenguin 0
What a fanboy.
ProfessionalTrol_fml 14
2- your comment, was definitely not a winner
ttttttyyy 0
You're not a winner!
WildInTheStreets 5
Drinking wine, while complaining: winer
ladyLALAA 29
I wish I was an Oscar Myer's (sp?) wiener...
cayytee 0
poor girl..
DodieC 9
I had a similar conversation with my ex's mother, later discovered it ran in the family. Always good fun meeting the parents
Redoxx_fml 22
I swear to drunk I'm not God
Nicnats 3
It runs in the family
perdix 31
At least the dad is an effective drunk, he gets the alcohol into his bloodstream with laser-beam efficiency. So, is your girlfriend a sloppy drunk, like her mom, or a hard-core lush like her dad? It must be tough dating someone who is a product of a mixed marriage.
j_cat187 20
Her dad shoots alcohol like heroine.
THExistentialist 13
like the female protagonist got shot down in some movie? o.o HEROIN.
stevenJB 25
Sigh. I hate alcohol so much...
swankmrpancake 8
And everyone needed to know that why?
KriiFahMoro 9
I hate it when people wear long sleeve shirts, just to keep the sleeves rolled up. JUST WEAR A T-SHIRT DAMMIT!
SkoomaKi 28
68 - You know what really pulls my pubes? People who bitch and moan! (Hypocritical I know)
jetaimehannah 6
I agree #7. It's sad to see people u love so much fall into an addiction like that.
DocBastard 40
She spilled 5 glasses of wine? That's just careless, AND a waste of perfectly good wine.
perdix 31
I was puzzling over that, too. Did she spill 5, or did she polish off 4 successfully and knock over the fifth? With the volume that this family consumes (including the waste from spillage), I wouldn't be sure that the wine they consume is "perfectly good." For economic reasons, they could be reduced to cheap rotgut, vanilla extract and mouthwash to keep the DT's at bay.
nofearjenshere 12
Doc, perdix, and Baustigt all in one thread? Awesome! Noor, where are you??
j_cat187 20
Wine, how the classy get wasted. Strange, this woman doesn't seem very classy.
ClosetTroll 10
29 - "For when the wine is in, the wit is out."
tomtato 10
still better than your girl calling your dad a babe. nonetheless, fyl.
aleclikestacos 8
Oh the irony...